Bipolar Check-in #85

Lady shadow,

I saw my pcp today-since being diagnosed with POTS, I have been seeing her every three months. I don't feel an ounce of stigma with her when it comes to my bipolar disorder diagnosis and it's wonderful. I told her about the face twitching that happened with seroquel and she said I should take the med my pdoc gave me for it asap if/when I notice the twitching. Just like the pharmacist, she made it seem like a pretty serious thing. I still haven't taken the med because I didn't want to try a new one on a work day-my nose twitched a lot less today than it has the rest of the week though.

Took three of my classes outside today to test what they built yesterday. I think they had fun. I know my mood is a lot better on the days they have hands on activities so I hope they really enjoy those days too.

Good morning, slept well, we’re getting 5-6 inches of snow tomorrow. I got on the treadmill today for 30 minutes

I feel fine today. I got up at 5 and worked out and then I watched the TV show I recorded last night. I haven't thrown up in about 4 days which I think is a record.

H comes home today!

Feeling a bit better, managed to get up and at least do some laundry. I will feel so much better when this Invega shot is out of my system, I am slowing down so much, I can't even get moving in the morning it's so frustrating.

Meeting with my doctor next Wednesday to talk about my pills, thank God I can't afford the Invega. I still can't believe I ended up in all these hospitals again and almost lost everything. The whole thing seems so surreal to me.

I'm doing pretty good today though I woke around 3:30 AM and couldn't fall back to sleep, so I'm a bit tired. I took a power walk, showered, had breakfast, read for an hour with the SAD lamp. I had to go back to the pharmacy for another prescription, and I decided to gas up my car. I don't know if it was just busy today or if people were gasing up ahead of that winter storm coming, but it took forever to get a pump. It's annoying because my car gases up on the right side while most of the others gas up on the left, and I'm not confident enough to queue backwards in the gas line.

After lunch, I tried drawing some, but I couldn't really get into it. I did 2 pictures, wasn't satisfied with either of them (results are in the Creative Corner forum for what it's worth). Some days are like that.

I had a close call with my Geodon. I was close to running out and the pharmacy was having issues. But of course it was my dumb fuk pdocs fault. I take 2 Gedon 80 a day and the bottle said 1. But the pharamcist found a script for 2 a day so I'm good now and my med box is done filled for the week.

I need to do laundry and take a shower. At least wash all my black t shirts since I'm out.

I don't really mind this diet. Its not worth getting so sick just for some fried or greasy foods or something.

And it looks like that one job has been filled. Its not on the company page or on Indeed anymore. Idk. My mom suggested I get a job coach but I'm not sure I want to draw attention to myself when a job coach follows me on interviews and on my first day of work.

Oh wow! Just got a letter from the bank to my mum at this address. They issued her a new cc! All her accounts were closed a year and a half ago. I messaged my oldest sister cause she was in charge of the estate. What a weird thing.

I slept good but had disturbing hospital dreams, though I did break out. I escaped in an old camper. And went off the grid where no one could find me. Bizarre that after more than 10 years hospitalization dreams still stalk me.

Saw the butt dr yesterday. . There are three grade one internal hemorrhoids. Doing Metamucil and colace after bleeding again this afternoon. Talked to the on-call dr. That was his recommendation to avoid straining. I know this is all TMI!

I've been taking the iron pills for a couple of days now and I think that they may, already, be helping! I was able to do my cleaning chores and take out the garbage without having that fatigue feeling as much. Yeah. I just realized I walked to the dumpster and back without feeling like I was going to collapse or something. Sweet! I texted my husband and told him we'd be taking walks in no time! 😊

I'm still pissed that for TWO YEARS no one took me seriously. Everyone was just like, "You need to exercise! That's the best way to fight fatigue!" Dude, I feel like I'm going to die walking from the car into a store! I CAN'T exercise. And then I brought it up to a doctor once and he dismissed me and was just like, "It's the seroquel you're on! That's making you tired!" Dude! It's not that kind of tired! It's the fatigue you feel after running ten miles.

I did it to myself too. My diet made/is making me sick because I don't eat beef, poultry, or seafood, and I don't like any of the vegetarian food (like spinach or lentils 🤢 ) that have iron.

@Moose72

TMI? Nah. No such thing on this board. Lol.

@LadyShadow

Sorry to hear about the invega shot. I took an invega pill while manic and in the hospital once and hated the way it made me feel. It made me feel very slow and cloudy (if cloudy makes any sense!).

Hey there @raspberrytorte that's exactly how it is making me feel! I feel so slow and spaced out, I don't feel like myself at all! I am glad the iron pills are helping though!

Wow @Nammu can't believe they issued a new cc! That's crazy - you also have some real vivid dreams you really do!

Just home from Starbucks with Robert followed by buying the 100-pill bottle of Colace at Walgreens. You’re supposed to take 1-3 per day so I took two. We’ll see how I do after that plus a dose of Metamucil this afternoon.

Feeling like Caleb will never come visit again. Always excuses.

My shoulders still hurt! I’m gonna have to ask my physical therapist about this on Wednesday at my first appointment for my back.

Watching Attack of the Killer Tomatoes to make myself feel better lol.

I either have akathisia, am mildly symptomatic, or both. I've realized, ever since the day after my most recent dose of seroquel, my legs have felt restless in the way they did when I was on vraylar. Also, my walks the last two days have left me feeling mildly hypomanic, but the feeling tended to pass shortly after I was done with my walk. This evening, the later it gets the more restless I get. I've also had trouble focusing today and my brain feels like it's going very fast/has so much going on it can't focus. Since I'm feeling more energetic/restless I am taking some seroquel tonight. Actually, as I type this, my mood seems to be getting more and more manic by the second. I am also taking my first dose of the med my pdoc gave for the muscle twitching tonight so, hopefully, that won't get worse with my dose of seroquel.

@Blueberrybook when my mood first started acting up a month ago, you proposed that I might be in a mixed state and I think you were spot on there. I'm actually wondering if I'm returning to that because I felt a mix of a euphoria and a need to cry at the same time earlier today.

On a different note, did I tell you all that I might have to move by the end of the school year? My roommate is thinking about moving to another state and there is no way I can afford to pay for where we live by myself so I'll have to find somewhere else. I'm really worried about the financial stress having to live on my own might cause (I'm not sure finding a new roommate is an option since I don't really know anyone here). Fingers crossed it all works out!

I'm proud of myself today. Thursday I plugged my SAD light into my surge protector and saw a spark. Then the circuit breaker for the room (my bedroom) popped and neither my mom nor I could reset it. So I called an electrician who never called me back. Last night I decided to check what the internet says and after a very helpful Reddit page I was able to determine that my problem was probably the surge protector blowing and that we didn't know how to use force on the circuit breaker. I got the lights on last night but was nervous about sleeping with them on when I wasn't 100% sure it was the surge protector. I bought a new surge protector today and got it hooked up and reset the circuit breaker and I have officially solved my problem myself (and with Reddit). So glad. It's good to be able to be on my computer in my bedroom tonight.

Wow, that’s impressive rainbow 🌈. I mean really impressive. I’d be scared to mess with electricity. Decades ago I tried hooking up door bell to the hall light and shocked myself.

It’s 0 degrees. What a concept, the abstract idea of 0 as a physical thing. Of course the real feel is -19F or -28C either way it’s cold and churches are canceled. Gosh, in my day ya hitch the horses to the carts and went anyway. Ok ok yeah I’m not that old. But if your car started you went to church.

Y’all ready for the tic tok ban?

Hahaha I watched this as a teenager!

I’m okay! Went grocery shopping then took my son to the beach to swim. Any longer than 20 minutes and we would have all sunburned it’s so hot. Sitting in front of the fan under the cooler and I’m dying of heat.

@June08 I'm sorry to be possibly right about the mixed episode. Mixed is so hard to deal with

@LadyShadow - I admire your courage and drive to recover after such a brutal manic episode. If I went through that, I don't know that I would even have the will to try to soldier forward. You are one strong, awesome person, don't forget that!

@BeyondtheRainbow - Wow! Your electrical skills are impressive! I definitely think I wouldn't have been able to the power like that!

(((HUGS))) to all going through difficulties.

I am doing quite well. I slept 8 hr. tonight, woke up to Pecan jumping and walking all over me, like I do most mornings. She is a sweet kitty, but I really wish she'd save her affection a bit later than 4:30 AM! I did a pilates video, showered, read & ate breakfast with the SAD lamp. I have a rather large grocery curbside pickup this morning and am not looking forward to it because it is 33F outside. They are even predicting snow here on Tuesday 1-3", which is quite a rare occurence; I don't think it has snowed that much in this area since my mom was a kid!

Tomorrow is my birthday; I am turning 47 years old, accumulating more gray hair...sigh. I guess at least the saving grace is my natural hair color is blonde.
I have 2 younger sisters with brown hair, and the gray shows up much more in their hair.

I'm doing good today. I got up closer to 6 then 5. But I was up watching SNL last night. I worked out when I got up and now I'm watching the news about the hostages. Theres not much to report. My stomach is still fine and this lifestyle diet change is still going fine. I guess theres a difference when you try it for a fad and when its for something legit. I feel a lot better. I haven't heard from the jobs though.

I was up from 2-5 a.m. last night. Tired but had coffee.

Good morning! I woke up late for me today, 10:30am instead of 5 or 6am. According to my smartwatch I slept 12 1/2 hours. I did exercise a lot yesterday though. I did an hour and 45 minutes of walking, a combination of treadmill on incline and walking outside. So that might be why I slept so much. Anyway, it’s supposed to snow later today.

I’ve been feeling pretty good mentally. Getting into a routine with exercise. Been adjusting to having the new cat (Papi) here. He seems to be doing well. My other cat isn’t too fond of him yet but she’ll adjust.

Plan on watching some anime today