Bipolar Check-in #85

Forgot to mention: Ella is my niece!

Happy birthday @Blueberrybook

Today is just an average day. I go see my son’s key worker this morning. I find her incredibly boring tbh. I’m hoping the meeting will only go for half an hour not an hour.

I’m back at work next week. SAVE ME.

You will be okay @Crazy Hitch! You are strong. 💪

Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone! It's been a pretty low-key afternoon. After lunch, I crashed and took an hour long nap. I hardly ever nap, but I have been pretty physically active the past few days, and it's so gloomy outside, cold & overcast. When I woke up, I was freezing getting out from under the blankets. And tomorrow is going to be even colder...but hey, they're saying snow & not only just flurries, that doesn't often happen here.

@Blueberrybook happy birthday 🎂

It's official I'm getting depressed.

I picked up my $25 replacement glasses this morning. I can see now! I couldn’t wear the ones the optometrist shop broke because a lens kept popping out because they cracked all the way through where they sit against your nose. So I’d been wearing an old pair of mine which were better than a poke in the nose but not as clear as the right prescription. Tried the new ones on. They needed tightened so they wouldn’t slip off but once that was done I had a brand new pair of glasses practically free!

@Blueberrybook happy birthday

Happy birthday @Blueberrybook!



Financial stress has me in a bit of freeze/fear mode today. I'm already stressed about possibly having to figure out how to afford living on my own. Then, today a car shop told me my car needs $6,000 worth of work. A lot of the work was just recommended because of how many miles my car has. I plan on getting a second opinion at a different place I trust so we'll see what they say. I ended up just telling today's car shop I can't pay for any of it and picked up my car as is. If where I go for a second opinion also says I need thousands of dollars of work, it would make more sense for me to just try and buy a new to me car. My car is old enough it wouldn't make sense to put that kind of money into it. I've already had to pay for almost $3,000 worth of repairs since the school year started in August.

All this stress is triggering suicidal ideation. I hope these thoughts don't get to bad. The thought of them getting bad terrifies me because each time I get them these days they get harder and harder to fight. If they get to bad, I'll take a seroquel to see if that by change would help get rid of them. I know I was given it for manic symptoms, but it's worth a shot, right?

soooo many birthdays of people i knw in januray. ill be the big 38 friday ugh. happy bday!!!

Happy Birthday!

I woke up, and it's SNOWING!!!

SNOW!! Very rare occurence here!

My mom ordered me not to watch the news for the next few weeks. I also deactivated Facebook and I uninstalled Reddit. I talked with my therapist through email and she made me feel better about things.

Just gonna live off the grid for a bit.

I already got some ding on my phone saying someone on messanger was trying to contact me. Which I also deactivated.

Why don't they ever talk to me when I actually am on Facebook?

I'm doing pretty good today. The snow has stopped now, but it is still on the ground. It's made it hard to do anything this morning; I was just mesmerized by the snow. That what happens to people when it almost never snows where you live! Everything here is closed today because no one knows how to drive in these conditions!

I did pilates, had breakfast and read a good while with the SAD lamp. I did a load of laundry and drew 3 pictures including not a bad facsimile of a human heart diagram (in the Creative Corner Forum).

I just bought two tickets to see David Francey on Thursday Feb 13! I have some of his earlier CDs and N3 grew up listening to him in the car. He's Scotch-Canadian- very cool accent! My mom said she will pay for my ticket for my birthday! N3 and I are going. We saw the King's Singers several years ago now and last month we saw the Messiah together and now David Francey! His music is Folk/Country. I got reserved seats instead of general admission as they were not that much more in price. I first saw what I now think is a scalper site as the prices there were 3 times as much as buying them through the venue’s website. I hope N3 can get that night off from choir rehearsal at church as he's a paid Choral Scholar now. He'll have to ask the director. But let's hope he can take the night off.

Doing dishes and laundry. The stair/hallways here are so cold! (Laundry room is on the ground floor.)

I slept though the worse of the cold warning. I took an extra seroquel and didn’t wake up til now. It’s 64 in the apartment but should start warming up.

I can’t believe the snow you had in south Texas blueberry! That’s soooo far south.

I’m a bit out of it. My head feels like a huge bubble from the seroquel.

Iowa is saying they are gonna buy ten counties of Minnesota. That’s so silly. But it a Republican thing. Now South Dakota wants to buy western Minnesota. They are both Republican and have missed managed their land so bad. Minnesota has a surplus instead of a deficit and is in the top ten places that’s good to live in. They can bend over and kiss themselves.

Couldn’t sleep last night. It was so HOT. Had 2 fans blasting in my room but the temp in my room was still 31 degrees Celsius. And I’ve been up since just before 5:00am. Sitting outside and the sun is not up yet and I’m getting eaten alive by damn mosquitoes 🦟 left right and centre. Both legs and feet completely bitten.

Taking my son back to the skatepark this morning. He wants to invite his friend to come back here. Not sure her mom will say yes. But we’ve tidied up a bit regardless.

Still drinking my health shake in the morning and having my detox soup for lunch. I had a big serving yesterday but it’s healthy and loaded with veggies

Child tragedy

Went to the hairdresser and had my roots dyed. No more grey roots lol

Ugh. Just got my stupid period, which explains why I was PMSing so bad this morning. I was SUCH a ***** to my husband. Poor Husband. He even went out in the negative degree temps to buy me nighttime mucinex and bananas. He has the horrible cold that Daughter had and that I'm still getting over. I'm almost better though.

I thought I was ready to begin my novel, but nope. Still more planning to do, so I've been working on that. My ezine submissions keep on piling up. I have like fifteen submissions to read currently. Speaking of the ezine, it's almost the end of the month and the next issue has to be posted... instant panic mode!!!!! (I go through this at the end of every month. Lol)

Who needs sleep? Stable people? Okay, so not me!!!!

(My mattress has more stab wounds than I’ve slept hours this week )

I barely slept last night it was so hot. Couldn’t fall asleep. Woke up 3x. Then out of bed at 5:00.

Hope you get some shut eye @MuddyBoots !

😭