[JaneOnceMore]

I was in an accident. A large heavy piece of debris fell off my thirty-floor condo-apartment building and struck me. I was sitting near the building on a bench. The debris clipped my glasses, breaking them. It slammed with great force into my collar bone. It bounced off and slammed into my knee, bounced off again and slammed onto the pavement with such a deafening boom people came running.

I was disoriented. I assessed that i could move my limbs. My only thought was to get my dog to safety. I hastened off as quickly as i could. I came home and called 911. I saw the paramedics and was assessed as to no broken bones and i signed an electronic document refusing further medical attention. The police came and i made a report. I submitted a claim to my condo insurance, which of course did not apply, as the incident was outside my condo-apartment.

It happened on Monday, June 2, 2025 at 4:15pm. My dog was with me. If she had been hit, she'd be dead. If the debris was ten centimeters to the left, i'd be dead. The life-threatening nature of the incident has caused me post-traumatic shock which seems to be getting worse.

The debris was a one meter square board weighing about three kilos. It fell thru the water channel slot between the balcony retaining wall and the balcony floor of a condo-apartment on the eighteenth floor. The owner had propped it there while he was cleaning. He uses it to cut plants on. There were high winds that day and he had gone inside. A plant was knocked over and shifted the board so that it fell thru the slot, bounced off lower balcony railings as it tumbled down and struck me with tremendous force. There is security cam footage of it striking me.

I am angry that this owner, who i confronted, has not apologized. He has not said he is sorry. He has made no gesture of contrition like sending flowers. He has not offered me any gift of homemade food. He continues to plant and clean on his balcony and has texted me he is doing so, when he knows having a balcony full of furniture and decorations and plants and being active out there is a hazard. It's traumatizing for me to hear about.

He seems to be unaware and unapologetic that his actions have caused me pain. I have shown him my lurid bruises. He merely went on and on about he doesn't have any money or condo insurance. He is an individual who has been rude and ignorant to me in the past and yet he was calling me 'friend' and saying i 'light up the building' and calling me by the short form nickname of my real name. He also stopped several times to collect himself while i confronted him, making as tho he was close to tears. It all seemed very phony and disingenuous and manipulative.

He seems to think the condo corporation should be the one providing me with a personal support worker while i recover, as i have limited mobility with my right collarbone injury. He doesn't seem to accept that it was his own negligence that caused the accident and that it is HE who should take ownership and responsibility and foot the bill for a personal support worker.

Initially i was reluctant to pursue an insurance claim against him and thought i would turn the other cheek. But his lack of contrition and his continued hazardous activity on his balcony and his assertion that it is the condo who is responsible for providing me assistance during my physical recovery are making me reconsider. I have seen a personal injury lawyer and he says an insurance claim award would be less than ten grand. It's likely that one grand would go to 'disbursements' (paperwork costs), and the lawyer would take 30%, so i would only see about six grand at the most.

The physical injuries are troublesome, but it's really the post-traumatic shock that is affecting my functioning. I decided i couldn't live here in the building anymore due to the trauma of exiting and entering the building and the flashbacks of the accident. I launched the sale of my home and liquidated my retirement fund in preparation for buying a new place. It was very foolish and now that i've come to my senses a bit, i hope to reverse the decision as tax on withdrawal from my retirement fund is punishing. I won't sell my home as now is not the time to be making big decisions and taking on extra stress. Selling a home and buying another one is an enormous stress lasting about four months. As hideous as it is staying here, it is LESS stressful than moving.

I am extremely emotional, paranoid, losing things including my purse, can't find things that are right in front of me (it's like i can't see), irritable, easily frustrated, short-tempered, and my insomnia is now so intense my eyes are red with veins. I know it's just post-traumatic shock, but it's been six days. How long will it go on?

Should i pursue an insurance claim? I've been documenting my bruises with daily photos on my phone, but it's really the post-traumatic shock that's the problem, and it's hard to quantify that. If this darn guy would just say he's sorry and send me flowers, i would probably let it go. But with him continuing the hazardous behavior on his balcony and his awareness that i need the assistance of a personal support worker and his attempt to shift responsibility to the condo corporation, and his general refusal to take ownership of his negligence, i am inclined to pursue a claim against him.

He lives in an enormous million-dollar condo and cries poor, that he'll have to sell his home if i pursue a claim. That's nonsense. A guy who has a million-dollar home could get a loan for ten grand easy. I can't base my decision on his ability to pay anyways. He SAYS he doesn't have insurance. My lawyer has cautioned me that he may not be telling the truth. We are required by law to have condo insurance. There are no repercussions if you don't tho. We are not compelled to show proof of insurance. Condo insurance is only fifty bucks a month for me.

If he doesn't have condo insurance, that's on him. It's extremely foolish not to have it. I can't be responsible for his bad financial decisions. The fact is, if the guy owns a million-dollar condo, he's got deep pockets.

Sorry for the long post, i'm trying to collect my thought here, as much for myself, as for sharing. Thanks if you made it this far, and any feedback would be welcome.

[unaluna]

Why arent you letting your lawyer decide the best course of action? That seems like your best bet, rather than you arguing first hand with this person. If you are having trouble seeing, you may have detached a retina from the blow. You need a lot of professional advice to protect yourself, not flowers or homemade soup.

[JaneOnceMore]

Hmm... I haven't actually hired the lawyer yet. We'd have to sign a fee agreement. His advice is to wait another week and see how my symptoms shake out. While i was busy this past week with details, reports, phone calls, emails, investigations, and appointments, i did fairly well, aside from being all over emotionally.

But now this weekend, and especially today, with time on my hands and nothing to distract me, i am feeling the PTSD at last. I think i am partly having this delayed reaction from being a trauma survivor too, where it wasn't safe to react in-the-moment as a child, and i am in the habit of staying calm in a crisis and only allowing my emotions to surface later, in calm privacy, where it's safe.

Yes, Unaluna, there were steep disadvantages to getting social with the person who harmed me. There were some good things, like i learned how such a baffling incident could have happened, and that it was accidental in nature. He was also the one to tell me that security cam footage of the impact existed. I've requested a copy, and that they preserve their copy as evidence in the event i DO launch a lawsuit.

I've sent myself flowers! They arrive tomorrow morning. I sent myself a Get Well Soon balloon too! I can't wait! Everyone is intimidated by the situation, so i have not received any well wishes, and i have abandoned my relationship with my one close neighbor, as she revealed herself to be the manipulator that she is, on behalf of HER best friend who is on the condo board.

I'm not currently in contact with my sister, who i visited last month. We have some philosophical differences, and i am not sure we will ever get past them. She believes what is comforting, while i believe what is true. It seems impossible.

So, i have no support, except for here and the crisis phone line. That's okay, i've been thru tough things before. I'll just withdraw to my home for now, perhaps forever. It doesn't matter. For as long as i like!

It's not that i'm having physical trouble seeing due to a physical injury, Unaluna. It's that i am having trouble seeing things due to PTSD symptoms of intense distraction and inability to concentrate. I have to coach myself thru activities of daily living, and yet i still wander away from tasks or go into rooms forgetting why i went in there. Trouble focusing, i guess.

Well, i have lots of time to heal. It's a bit unfortunate that my neighbors are renovating now. They started on Saturday and the noise of the demolition was deafening and severely triggered my PTSD. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, when it will start again. They work early, from dawn to mid-afternoon. I have my noise-cancelling earpods, but i urgently desire silence.

I have online contacts in to my doctor and lawyer and will hopefully connect with both of them tomorrow via phone. I have posted a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my door and am screening calls, and have blocked the man who harmed me. I won't have any further social contact with him.

I have two years to file a lawsuit, so there's no urgency to make decisions immediately. I expect my PTSD will be a long-haul illness, so it is likely i WILL file a lawsuit, but it will be hard to quantify my suffering. It's not like i'm experiencing lost wages, as i'm already on disability benefits. It would be stressful to prove pain and suffering that is not physical in nature, and discouraging to have only a token award. Ten grand would be worthwhile tho. I feel a five-figure award would be amends for the negligence that caused my suffering.

The hits keep coming in the days and nights of Jane.

[divine1966]

I am very sorry

I wouldn’t be directly confronting this person because he might claim that you harassing him.

You have medical expense as needing to replace your glasses.

You need to see a doctor about your eyes and check on other injuries. You need to see a mental health professional about potential pTSD. You need pictures of injuries.

You need lawyers to take care of the issue.

I do not believe you need to sit and wait. You need to take care of it now not when bruises are gone and Neighbour moves away and landlords sell the place to someone else

[Scooter9]

OMG I’m so sorry that happened to you. That sounds terrifying. No wonder you’re having a hard time with things that might normally seem simple - what you went through was deeply traumatic!
@divine1966 made some really good suggestions, @JaneOnceMore.

If you’re able, try to reach out for medical or psychological support sooner rather than later. Not just for healing, but because, fair or not, insurance and legal systems often rely heavily on those early records when assessing how an incident has affected someone.

A lawyer can only work with the information that’s documented, and it becomes harder to show the full impact of what happened if there’s a long delay in seeking help. And from what you’ve shared, this has clearly had a big impact.

Please take care of yourself first and foremost. Whatever you decide, I hope you feel supported in it.

[JaneOnceMore]

Thanks @Scooter9 and @divine1966. I'm talking to my doctor on the phone this morning. I can't go see him in-person because the PTSD makes it impossible to leave the building, i'm so petrified of debris falling on me again. I also use public transit and the tsunami of sensory input of taking the bus is also intolerable with my PTSD.

Yes, i've kept up with photos. Last week was messy because the PTSD had not set in yet and i started two new projects (starting a support group and moving). That's not going to look good for me. The question will be: if you were well enough to start projects, in what sense were you sick from PTSD?

The thing is, i've abandoned both projects as extremely foolish, stressful, and triggering of my PTSD. I just launched them both out of immediate panic after the accident. I was disoriented and not thinking clearly. I was so busy with appointments, investigations, questions, emails, phone calls, confrontations, decisions, etc., that the PTSD did not set in until the weekend.

I'll be asking my doctor for a referral to an EMDR therapist. This is "Eye-Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing" therapy done for PTSD victims. It's the only therapy i know of. Medication is not effective for PTSD. I'll see if my doctor has any knowledge of new meds or therapies, but i am generally more up-to-date on medicine than my doctor.

[Scooter9]

You don't have to volunteer information about your projects, etc.

They will use that to say you were resilient enough to get through it, so much so that you started new things.

[JaneOnceMore]

@Scooter9: Yes, that's exactly what i'm concerned about. The person in question and one other neighbor know that i started new projects. Gee, it was really foolish to socialize with him! Now he knows the details of my projects! The EXACT person i do NOT want to know. Crap, what a situation. It was a terrible decision to go confront him and get involved with him. It's better to maintain secrecy. Now he can say, "Well, she was well enough to launch a support group and she was well enough to launch a real estate deal, therefore, she was well and did not suffer." Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just talked to my doctor and got a referral to an EMDR therapist, and directions to up one of my meds for rescue sleep. Will talk to him on Friday afternoon to go thru a PTSD questionnaire to try and quantify my PTSD suffering. Will repeat weekly to monitor the status of my PTSD suffering. The question of how to pay the therapist is up in the air tho. She costs $200 per hour and i have no medical insurance. Our sshhiittttyy public provincial health care plan does NOT cover therapy. My only choice is to go ahead with the therapy out-of-pocket and hope that i'll be compensated in a personal injury lawsuit, and i don't know if i'm willing to do that. It could add up very quickly.