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Old Mar 02, 2008, 02:36 PM
onlymedid's Avatar
onlymedid onlymedid is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 2,856
OK, so I was watching TV and my sis called. She asked if I was going to my nephews little get together/small b-day party (he is 9 today). I told her I hadn't heard about it. She said, "Oh, well it is today" I said that I still don't know anything about it. She said that it would be held at this place called PoJo's (like a Chuckie Cheese or something). Still no mention of a time. OK, so I said I wasn't going anywhere today cuz my car is acting up. She said ok and hung up.
I told my BF that I just feel totally left out. Like I REALLY don't matter to the "family"...(little history is I lived with dad til 12, then got shipped out to group homes. Never lived with Mom's side (all my sisters, nieces/nephews) until about 6 months ago when I moved to their area at the age of 33) OK, anyways...I have never felt part of any family at all, not even my own.
So my BF said, "maybe they just forgot or thought that someone else was going to tell you" I told him, "no that they just don't give a *%&$ about me. They don't like me and have never liked me, apparently. If I meant something to them then they would have invited me and I made up the excuse about the car because now I don't WANT to go even if they 'remember' now to invite me." He told me that he "just doesn't understand my logic, why can't people just make a mistake?" and I told him that he "will never understand the way my *&^#($ up mind works" and "stop trying to make excuses for them".
I was supposed to make breakfast, but I just told him I am not going to eat now. I am not hungry.
I am sitting in my room all alone wondering why I am so screwed up. Is my logic that out of whack? Could they have just made a mistake? Not in my mind....but I guess that's what's wrong...ME! Now I am trying not to SI. I feel like I deserve it for being so messed up.
I'm so messed up! I'm so messed up! I'm so messed up! I'm so messed up!

BJ
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"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."

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  #2  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 03:40 PM
Cthomas's Avatar
Cthomas Cthomas is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,746
SI isnt the answer. Im sorry your family is so rotten to you. However, Ive adopted my own "family" because of how %#@&#! my family treated me.

friends are the family you make for yourself.

Guess that means were all family here right?

Hugs to you.

Colleen
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today.

lets pretend its tomorrow...ok?
  #3  
Old Mar 02, 2008, 04:02 PM
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ziggy1 ziggy1 is offline
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Member Since: May 2007
Location: Florida so glad to be out of Massachusetts!
Posts: 1,664
What's that old saying..? "You Can choose your Friends, but you can't pick or choose your relatives"...

Wouldn't it be great if we could do that right before we come into this world....?

Hang in there colleen...sending hugs your way...
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I'm so messed up!
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