[myskycastle]

All I know is that about a year ago I was completely in love with life and had so many plans. I was super organized kept track of everything. May have been mania? Now I have panic attacks everyday. The other night downed a bottle of Nyquil just to sleep because I didn't want to exist - but I didn't want to die. Everything feels hopeless and my mood changes at the drop of a hat. It doesn't matter who you are, I will snap at you or start to cry if you say the wrong thing. I'm only 22 and shouldn't be this screwed up already. I don't know if it's bipolar, but it sure seems like it. I didn't try it for attention, but did slice my arm up the other night and my manager at work knew what the ace bandage was for. She wants me to go talk to someone and get on meds. Honestly, I feel like meds are the only thing that could regulate me because I feel so out of control. I just don't know if it's something that will pass over. After I hit rock bottom w/ the knife, I felt SO ok the next day. Now I'm just sitting in my bed crying wondering whether or not I actually WILL wake up tomorrow, or if I will just stay in bed all day like I did last Sunday.

I just don't know how I let it get this bad. I used to handle things so much better. I don't know if it's just something that needs to pass and then it will be ok, or if I should seriously do something about it. Anyone else feel like this?

[ppatio1]

I've spent so much time in similar states. Please believe that there is help for what you are experiencing. Yes, meds can help. Therapy is also helpful because it will lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself. I find that spirituality is important, as well. Coming to this forum is a brave thing to do because there are many people here who understand how you feel. Please continue to take care of yourself and please seek professional help.

[myskycastle]

I am semi-reluctant to meds because that's just how I was raised. However, in the dark times, I feel like they would be able to pull me out, cause I know I can't. I have also been looking into psychoanalysis - specifically Lacanian. I don't know, but I do know I need to do something. My parents just think that I will snap out of it, but I know that it has gone beyond just snapping out of it now because it's out of my control.

[perkypower]

<font color="purple"> Hi, i'm new to psychcentral too. Today,is my 10th day. welcome to the forum.

meds and therapy are a great team. I found better success with meds gotten from my psychiatrist then any of my primary care managers. that's what they call your regular doctor in the military healthcare system.

My psychiatrist is in the same office as my psychologist. That is a big help for me because i have a team in place to help me get through this. My psychologist uses an integrative and humanistic approach that he tailors to fit what works for the me.

</font>

[MyBestKids2]

Hi and welcome to PC!

Everyone else here has offered such great advice! Medications and/or therapy can be so very helpful. Do you have a support system available also? It is ok to stay in bed when you are feeling so bad, sounds like your manager is compassionate.

Please keep us updated and PM me if you have any questions or wanna talk!

Take care,
Dee

[Angel_of_the_Past]

I agree with Dee; having a therapist is very helpful. My Pmd and therapist are in different practices but the communication is as good as if they were in the same practice.

Keep coming to PC, keep posting and asking questions. The support here is great. Sometimes just knowing another person has or has had the same feelings as you is helpful.

As far as work-I've found from personal experience, even though your manager is caring and compassionate, you still need to be mindful of your time and attendance. Managers have a job to do also.

Welcome,
Angel

[Clandestine]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
myskycastle said:
All I know is that about a year ago I was completely in love with life and had so many plans. I was super organized kept track of everything. May have been mania? Now I have panic attacks everyday. The other night downed a bottle of Nyquil just to sleep because I didn't want to exist - but I didn't want to die. Everything feels hopeless and my mood changes at the drop of a hat. ....Now I'm just sitting in my bed crying wondering whether or not I actually WILL wake up tomorrow, or if I will just stay in bed all day like I did last Sunday.

I just don't know how I let it get this bad. I used to handle things so much better. I don't know if it's just something that needs to pass and then it will be ok, or if I should seriously do something about it. Anyone else feel like this?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Every word you said in the quoted statements echoes to me. It mirrors how I feel at the moment. You're not alone, okay? It sucks. I'm 20 and I have to stop University because I can't even drag myself to school. I shake and get anxious. I got scared of people, and got ashamed of my failure at life. Life sucks.

<font color="purple">Clandestine</font>