[agony007]

has being bipolar ruined your relationship? i have been with my husband for 7 years. i asked him for a divorce in march of this year. he is controlling and i got tired of it. he wanted us to go to counseling, i did not agree to it. he is going to counseling on his own nd has moved out the house. though lately i have been feeling like i want to work it out. i usually make decisions out of the blue. i mean i wake up and decide something and thats that. i don't give it a second thought. i am curious to know if anyone here experiences the same thing, making rash decisions because of how you feel at the moment.

[chalmette70043]

hey agony. i'm not married, but the relationships with many of my friends of gotten strained. they dont understand and when i try to explain it to them, they think they know better. so i just dont say nothing anymore about it even when they ask.

chalmette

[MyBestKids2]

yes, yes, and yes..

I have made many bad spur of the moment decisions. I've also suffered the consequences. Think I would have learned my lesson?? Not yet, but I am thinking things out just a bit more before acting/speaking out.

[Dysmas]

Lost every one of my friends. The girl in my life i don't think i can ever get close to. Pretty much no family.

Yep, my relationships have suffered

[reddevil]

Yep, my mood swings have made things pretty strained between and my family, and me and my boyfriend.

[trippinmickey]

Bipolar doesn't = dumb if you know you make rash decisions which I do as well don't make them ! I dont trust myself so I try to wait and walk away and give myself time to think or most the time if I don't I F up And most of all don't for any reason put money into my pocket !

I've been with my wife for 22 years and we did have a rough spot where my bipolar was very bad where i flet she turned her back on me and maybe she did but I know now that i was not the only one sick with bipolar she was as well but from the outside in .

There a song by blind melon ( No Rain) which is about living with someone you love who has bipolar and how it hurt both of you.

[agony007]

thank you all for your input.

trippin- i am well aware that bipolar doesn't = dumb. and though one may recognize that they make rash decisions i think that it is still difficult to deter from the behavior because it seems almost uncontrollable. kinda of like a natural response to things. for me the decisions are not only rash and in the moment, i will feel whatever way it is for a while- days, weeks, months even. then something clicks and suddenty i change my mind and see that the way i justified my actions were wrong. but i am glad to see that you have been able to sustain your marriage despite the diffilcuties that come with being bipolar. i am working on changing my pattern of behavior so i hope to overcome this obstacle eventually some time down the road.

[Jifiner]

Definitely yes! Hubby and I are ok, but we don't talk to anyone in his family for 2+ years. My family situation is strained as well. Don't have many friends who don't eventually leave. I hate being like this and I wish it would get better.

[perkypower]

My bipolar strained my marriage of 24 years and in 3 weeks the divorce will be final.

[RelientK]

The Bipolar hasn't ruined the marriage. I really don't expect it too either.

Here's why:
I know how I was before the Bipolar. So, when my behavior,attitude, and perceptions become altered - I am able to recognize it. At that point I let my wife know that I may be difficult and not realize it right away...and that it is ok for her to point it out to me. I promised not to take offense and so far this has been successful.

Yeah, It takes extra effort, but I want to stay married. A little extra honesty goes a long way. Just think about the last time you snapped at your partner because you had a headache or were tired and they were unaware of your current state. Instead, if you say, "honey, I can't deal effectively with this right now because I have a headache", your partner will be much more understanding.

my 2c

[SerenitysWave]

yup, has made my family's lives difficult.... interfers with freidnships too...

[mysteriousstar]

i also make rash decisions.. i have told every family ever off one by one in the last 12 months.. why i don't know.. i have no friends.. my man of 5 years and i are spliting up.. we are done.. i am not sure what is going on.. but in my experience i make the decision it seems like the end of the world for a few and then something good happens out of it out of the blue.. when you look back on it, it would not have happend with out the so called bad decision. regret it is my life to live.. i live it to the fullest..

[dueNorth]

I have ruined 3 marriages because of it. Or rather they could not handle my mood swings. Though I have 3 outstanding boys out of it.

[purplebutterfly]

It's in the process of ruining mine as we speak!

[Cthomas]

My lovely bipolar has caused my husband of 15 years to tell me he is afraid of me. that i have been abusive and it has to change or hes leaving me. So far im doing fine, its hard to keep the mood swings from happening. I have the feeling I will be divorced very soon. Also for me too, it wrecked some friendships.

thank god for my mom. or id be totally alone.

me

[dueNorth]

My heart is with you, it's an easy thing to begin with, let alone adding bipolar in to the mix.

I hope you fair far better then me, when my wife left, she financially ruined me among other things.

[dueNorth]

I was never abusive, least I do not do not believe so any ways. I may have snapped but could usually stop myself. I turned things inward not external. Not sure which is worse really.

Hang in there ( I'm in an semi good mental state at the moment so can say that can't I? eh.) Any ways , Know it is not easy, pull'n for ya

[agony007]

First of all, Happy Birthday CThomas! I'm really sorry to hear about what's happening in your marriage. i know how that is, because in some ways i am emotionally abusive to my husband in very subtle ways. but we are trying to work on our marriage again. going to do marriage counseling. and i've learned to tell him when i am having a bad day so he can steer clear of me. we'll see how it works out. pm me anytime. good luck to ya.

[Cthomas]

Hey sorry i kinda hijacked this post. but thank you all for your kind replies. I feel like a monster at times.

hating and loving him all at the same time. I wonder if I should stay or leave...not sure..

However, in my eyes he doesnt give me the attention i crave which harbours feelings of rejection and the cycle of anger starts.

dunno....but thanks for the replies.

c