[Moose72]

I'm trying to to sit in my room which is now very clean with my new digital cable... playing with new toy.... trying to relax but its mainly so I don't get into trouble. My brain has gone haywire again. Too many thoughts, and the ones that DO make some sense aren't connected very well. I can't tell if I need a nap or not. I managed to refill my scripts today. Then I got a jury duty summons in the mail today! Its for Sept 2nd and that's the day before I start school and it could go on for days. I can't go. But need a good excuse so they say. At the moment, I couldn't do anybody's jury duty, but that's not always true. Could my pdoc write me an excuse like "brain gone bad today"? Lol seriously! That's how I feel. I feel like any second I COULD go completely manic and psychotic. I am feel uncontrolable thoughts and moving around the last two days and just want to watch tv and everything is so bright and colorful and tasty or nasty.... My BF made me smell some corn relish he had and I said it smelled nasty and then he made me taste it and I made a gross face and spit it out and he got mad at me for "overreacting"! I told him it smelled gross, I didn't want it, and he had me take some then he was surprised I hated it?!?!?! Anybody out there?!?!?!?!

[Schatje]

Hang in there. Did the psych nurse call you back today? If you can't take it anymore please get yourself to the ER.

[Moose72]

Yes, the nurse finally called back. Then yesterday, my social worker called and made an appointment for 5 p.m. that day. That did help! I hadn't seen her since May and she said she'd been thinking about me lately, too. She said my new pdoc walked across the hall to her office and asked if she'd get ahold of me because she's known me a few years, and I've only seen my pdoc for 2 visits now.

I am feeling okay today. In fact, I've been very even and stable. I had my tubes tied and have felt so good about my decision. Not really "happy", but content. Little pain, and pain meds for the cramping. Been sleeping off and on and eating not a lot, but regularly. Reading, bit of tv, and bit of online time.

Thankyou for your reply! I truely hate feeling like I did the other day. Interestingly, too, my social worker, wrote a diagnosis code of bipolar II rather than bipolar I! Maybe just for the one visit, as I am technically bipolar I. My guess is that its because I didn't have any psychosis this last time, unlike the other time. I called initially because I was AFRAID of that happening and felt myself disassociating and wanted to nip it in the bud. I hope insurance pays with a change from I to II for one session.

[Schatje]

I'm glad to hear you are feeling better and that you have had such an easy time recovering from the tubal.

[Moose72]

Interestingly, I've been feeling fine emotionally since I had my tubal yesterday. I've been feeling more rested, tired and actually sleeping okay, plus my mood isn't way up or way down. Just comfortably healing from my surgery. My physical pain is better or worse at times, but I'm dealing with that okay. (I was dealing with feeling faint tonight.) Just interesting that my manic episode is completely gone since I've had my surgery. I feel relieved that I got it done. Also, my boyfriend and I have been getting along very well the last week or so. He's been so helpful during and since the surgery.

[Schatje]

It is really weird how that works. I've noticed that sort of thing before. I would be really off and then something would happen, like giving birth for instance, and suddenly it goes away. Maybe it has something to do with a physical trauma taking precedence in your body over the mental trauma... Who knows, but I wouldn't recommend having surgery or being in a car accident to fix depression.