Frustrated and confused

My husband has bipolar disorder I, he is 38 years old and was diagnosed in 1992. In the beginning when we found out his diagnosis, I was confused and didn't know what bipolar was. My husband's mom, who has been deceased since he was 13 from cancer, had bipolar and one of his sisters has a very mild case of bipolar. I read everything that I could get my hands on about this disorder and because my husband's bipolar is also a service connected disability from the military, I tried getting information and help from the VA. From the very beginning, getting information, treatment plans, meds, and help in general has been an uphill battle.
Currently, he is in a mixed-state manic episode, I really couldn't tell you when this current episode began because he really hasn't been stable for the last 4-5 years, even though we have been working closely with his psychiatrist and he has been taking his meds as prescribed for the last 8 years or so. Being in this manic state he is in now, his meds have been tweaked and he was hospitalized for about 2 weeks last Dec-Jan. Every episode is always different and I have such a hard time trying to figure out what symptoms are going to rear it's ugly head. He has not been able to leave the house for about 3 years, he gets very paranoid about almost everything, he has also been very forgetful. For me the paranoia has been the hardest to deal with because he has always been very outgoing and now he has swung from being outgoing to isolated and alienating a lot of people. I can't reason with him about him being afraid to leave the house and that there is no one out to get him, but it is frustrating because to me it is irrational. Nothing I say or his case manager can convince him that things outside of the house is ok. Just last week, he forgot he was heating up a 2 quart pot of water on the stove and when he finally remembered, he "accidentally" knocked it over and burned himself. He has 1st and 2nd degree burns both his thighs and genitals. Because he already has a chronic pain issue, the pain of the burns made things so much worse. The pain keeps him up and he already doesn't sleep well, but the cycle of pain and insomnia makes the bipolar worse because they just feed off of eachother. I don't know what to say to him without him freaking out about something and there is no rationalizing with him that right now because of the burns, being still and resting is what is what will make the burns heal. When he is in physical pain he paces, literally for days. His rationale is that if he is already in pain, the pacing is really not hurting him. In a way I understand this but I know that for him to just be still will help him overall with the burns and just to relax a little and not be so overly stimulated.
To top it off I just lost my job last week, I had taken too much time off for taking care of my husband. So now that is just another log to add to the fire. I feel overwhelmed and alone and just don't know where to start. I feel myself feeling sorry for myself and for us, and maybe falling into a depression, but I don't have the luxury of feeling depressed right now, because there is just so much to do. Right now it feels like I am caring for a child and it has felt like that for a while now. I love my husband very much, but marriage is hard enough for 2 "normal" people, but I don't think that others understand how difficult this situation is. I often describe our life as chaotic, if it's not one thing it's another and I don't want to feel pessimistic. I want to find the silver lining in this cloud but it is very difficult. Does anyone out there have any advice for me? I feel so exausted mentally and physically and I need to get back on my feet and try to take care of myself so that I can take care of us. Help!!