[musikcrazy]

Well, I feel guilty complaining b/c I was so down for so long, now I am staying up till 2 and 3 unless I take at least two Ativan and a Benadryl and I feel like I can't stop myself from just going crazy!!!!!!!
My pdoc started me on Lamictal three weeks ago at 25 mg, then to 50 a week ago plus Geodon (60mg) now for a week and one day. The geodon felt like a wonderful switch was turned on and I finalll got out of the depression I was in, but now I feel a almost manic (or maybe just manic!lol!) I don't want to tell the doc b/c I am afriad of being depressed again and I am SO productive right now!!!! I LOVE that part of it!!!! But about two hours before I take the meds I turn into the ***** from hell! I am trying to kick Ativan and I am failing miserably!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by musikcrazy

Well, I feel guilty complaining b/c I was so down for so long, now I am staying up till 2 and 3 unless I take at least two Ativan and a Benadryl and I feel like I can't stop myself from just going crazy!!!!!!!
My pdoc started me on Lamictal three weeks ago at 25 mg, then to 50 a week ago plus Geodon (60mg) now for a week and one day. The geodon felt like a wonderful switch was turned on and I finalll got out of the depression I was in, but now I feel a almost manic (or maybe just manic!lol!) I don't want to tell the doc b/c I am afriad of being depressed again and I am SO productive right now!!!! I LOVE that part of it!!!! But about two hours before I take the meds I turn into the ***** from hell! I am trying to kick Ativan and I am failing miserably!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!

Personally, I don't like mania. Depression is almost better. Hypomania seems fun, but after that mania starts moving into psychotic territory- no fun seeing things and hearing things- and also disassociation, which, again, can SEEM "fun" because its unusual and there is a sense of non-responsibility. I remember swingning wildly with music, zipping along on my bike, singing high notes with glee... but at some point, its mania. The back of my mind might tell me so- sometimes, anyway. I am on ativan, too. My issue right now is depression, but when manic, I would stay up and write incoherent emails - and then of course days later wish I hadn't sent them. I remember driving home thinking "aha! I've figured out the meaning of my whole life! Why didn't I see it before??" and then it dawned on me later....

I doubt you're failing miserably. I say call your pdoc and see what they say. They may just adjust a dose or two. Never know. Meanwhile. stay home and keep yourself safe. That's what I have to do- I lock myself in my room alone with books, tv, and internet until it passes. (Well except the email part!)

[musikcrazy]

Thanks for your response! It feels good to know people care. Well, I DO like mania, and yes, it is EXACTLY like you describe it......I've just lived with it so long that it's hard to know when it's just me and when it's the mania. And yes, don't you just LOVE it when you send those emails or make crazy calls!It's SOOOO embarassing! Yesterday I walked out on the music minister at my church b/c I started crashing and I felt like a complete idiot! I HATE CRASHING!
Well, I started having awful chest pains yesterday and I didn't know what the heck was going on. I was scared! I was teaching a piano lesson and I had to walk out for a minute because it got so bad. So that prompted me to call the great pdoc!!!!! He told me to take TWO Geodon and that knocked me completely out! No more mania and no more crazy's!!!! YEA! And NO more chest pain! HE said I was having anxiety attacks. I've had anxiety before, but I've never felt like that! I guess he was right. The funny thing is, I was afraid to do what he said, so I first called my family doc b/c I trust him. I wanted his opinion! LOL!
So, I feel SOO good today and much more clear. Before I took the pills I couldn't stop cleaning or sit still (not a completely BAD thing..... But my husband was freaking out. He said I hadn't acted like this since I came home from the hospital with my baby girl!
Thanks for listening! Venting is such a good therapy!

Originally Posted by Moose72

Personally, I don't like mania. Depression is almost better. Hypomania seems fun, but after that mania starts moving into psychotic territory- no fun seeing things and hearing things- and also disassociation, which, again, can SEEM "fun" because its unusual and there is a sense of non-responsibility. I remember swingning wildly with music, zipping along on my bike, singing high notes with glee... but at some point, its mania. The back of my mind might tell me so- sometimes, anyway. I am on ativan, too. My issue right now is depression, but when manic, I would stay up and write incoherent emails - and then of course days later wish I hadn't sent them. I remember driving home thinking "aha! I've figured out the meaning of my whole life! Why didn't I see it before??" and then it dawned on me later....

I doubt you're failing miserably. I say call your pdoc and see what they say. They may just adjust a dose or two. Never know. Meanwhile. stay home and keep yourself safe. That's what I have to do- I lock myself in my room alone with books, tv, and internet until it passes. (Well except the email part!)

[Moose72]