[Zloppy]

Hey everyone,

Someone was telling me about Bipolar stuff the other day for no reason and It got me curious because I have been depressed for like half a year or so (scored 70 on the depression test on here which is Severe Depression) but it's come in parts, starting from 2 years ago. I am 16 now and it was bad at first. then it went away, then came back, then went away and came back again and now it has lasted half a year or so on average. Because I seem happy and I laugh and days like today I am in an okay mood, but like the other day i was so depressed and wanted to end everything. But I don't like overdramatizing things and so I am no sure If I have Bipolar or not. And don't want to say I do if I don't. I have talked with people before on a different online place and the all got angry and mad at me because I couldn't tell them why I was depressed. And the things I did tell them were stuff that they thought nothing of. I also think I have very high or very active emotions. And even when I feel okay and not really depressed, I still think the same stuff as I do when I am depressed, but just I don't feel depressed at that moment. I got a 41 on the Bipolar test on this site by the way too which is moderate to sever symptoms. I would like to know if i have Bipolar based on people who have it just so I can see If what I am saying is really what I think it is. I don't like saying I have something if i don't. It annoys me when people try to think of everything that is wrong with them and tries to find stuff even if it is like 1% of something like OCD, then they are over dramatic with it and always act like its bothering them. I don't want to be like that lol.

Thanks for reading.

[conigogo]

I would highly recommend going to a psychiatrist. Even if you are not bipolar, it sounds like you you need help with the depression. Go get the help you need, okay?

[Zloppy]

Yeah, I know I should get some help. I am 16 though. My parents already went through a whole fit a year and a half ago when I SI. And they made me go to a consoler guy. I hated him so much. Sitting around for an hour trying to get me to say stuff. I didn't trust him that he would keep quiet, especially when he called my dad back there and told me to stay outside for like 25 minutes when I was done one time. And most the time I lied because If I told him the truth, it would have gone past the thing and he would have had the power to tell my parents, and stuff. And I hate my parents knowing stuff like that because they get all into it and overdramatize it and then they stare at me. And still today, my parents don't look at me the same, and I can tell when my mom looks at me, one of the other things i see her eyes do is look at my arms. So i want to avoid them knowing how i really feel. And I know i need to see a psychiatrist, thats something I would HAVE to do when i move out for college. I would be away from my parents with no way of them knowing.

[Slothrop]

I was also going through bipolar symptoms around your age, and I'll tell you, this crap can really ruin your life. I wasn't properly diagnosed (with bipolar II) until age 37. Ugh!

Tell a psychiatrist, or just your regular doctor, about your scores on the quizzes...even bring the printouts along if you want.

Your concerns sound legit...I don't think you're being a hypochondriac!

[Zloppy]

Thanks Slothrop.

thanks. and hypochondriac was the right word i was looking for. That can be so annoying sometimes.

So what is Bipolar II? I heard of Bipolar I and Bipolar II somewhere but what does each mean?

[darkeyes]

I'd like to add, getting an evaluation by a reputable psychiatrist vs a general practitioner is probably the best route to go.
Online evaluations can be way too generalized, causing unecessary anxiety and false assumptions.
Though some online sources can be helpful, it is still always in one's best interest to be evaluated in 3D by a licensed professional.
Sometimes symptoms that mimic certain mental disorders can be caused from hormone and/or thyroid disorders which can be treated with medications that balance thyroid functions,etc. with amazing, positive results.
You may even consider having a complete physical and thyroid panel workup, to help rule out any other conditions, as well as seeking a psychiatric consultation.
I'm wishing you lots of luck in whatever you choose to do.

[Slothrop]

The Bipolar FAQ sez:

-- Bipolar I is the "classic" form of Bipolar Disorder. It most often involves widely spaced, long-lasting bouts of mania followed by long-lasting bouts of depression and vice-versa. However, the essential definition is depression plus mania, or "mixed states."

-- Bipolar II involves at least one Hypomanic Episode and one Major Depressive Episode, but never either a full-blown Manic Episode or Cyclothymia. The essential definition is depression plus hypomania.

With bipolar II, I never really get manic...you won't find me going on shopping sprees, binge drinking, or racing around town at 130 mph! But, without meds, I do have pronounced, sudden swings between debilitating depression and feeling just fine.

darkeyes has good advice...a good psychiatrist can get to the root of the problem, which could be any number of things. Good luck!

[Bellax3]

Hi- I'm kind of in the same boat as you, I'm 16- the main difference being that my depressions became prominant at thirteen, and a few weeks after I turned fourteen, I was in the position you are- wondering about possibly being BP. I read articles on it, and I felt like I was reading about myself- like someone finally put into words everything I was going through. It was the most eerie feelings the first time I read those BP informational websites. Since then I've gone through stages where I was wondering about that possiblity, then accepting it as true, then realizing how serious it really is, and absolutly denying it and putting it all up to hormones, and then finally breaking down and realzing that no matter how much I want to deny theres a problem- there is a huge problem. Thyroid issues run in the family though, as does diabetes, so I had all that checked out as a routine thing a few months ago, and I came back to be physically healthy, so I know it has to be BP. I'm just too scared, or stupid, or something to say anything. Well, heres a breakdown of the BP categoriesRemember: Bipolar is not a single disorder, its a category of mood disordersBP I: THe most severe, you go from suicidal debilitating lows, to crazy manic highs (called mania) where you are likely to think you are superhuman, go on crazy shopping sprees, speed 100mph PAST the speed limit, go on sex binges, drinking and drug binges, etc. and the strangest part- you can go days without sleeping, and have endless amounts of energy. BP II: A milder, but still very severe form. You get the suicidal lows, but you don't get the super highs, you get a mild version called hypomania, (or being hypomanic) where you act like your high on cocaine or ecstasy- overly silly, you don't concentrate, you can't stop laughing, you are in this amazing mood, super flirty (but not hyper sexual as with mania) stuff like that. Cyclothymia: the mildest form, you reach hypomania (not mania) and you don't go all the way down into suicidal depression. You get really sad, but not as depressed as with the other forms. usually your mania or hypomanias end in a crash. (Depression after the high) About your experience with your therapist, you are allowed to pick and chose your therapist. Maybe tell your parents that you agree to talk to someone, if and only if you get to pick one you are comfortable with. Then when you find someone you would like to talk to, go over their confidentiality rules. Licensed profesionals have to abide by a confidentiality law, where they can't talk about anything you tell them unless: A) You are going to hurt yourself or someone else - aka- suicide/assault/murder. B) You Are going to commit a felony - Aka- robbing a bank, murder, etc Because you are a minor, it can get messy, so you can talk to your therapist about your concerns with that, and ask them if they would be willing to outline a contract between them, you and your parents so everything is clear as to what your parents do and do not know about. That way, you can feel secure and therapy will actually work. Like, YOu can say specifically that the therapist cannot release any information to your parents except information regarding your safety- If you are suicidal, or if you are going to run away they should know about it. You have struggles with SI, (me too) so it should be clear wheather or not your therapist considers SI to fall under the confidentiality exceptance of harming yourself. In my school, the confidentiality rules are posted on the wall, and it says that there are many "Gray" areas that may or may not fall into the confidentiality exception, and counselors should use their own judgment on those matters. So, I may tell my guidence counselor that I SI, and he may not find that my ocasional cutting fits under harming myself because my life isn't in danger, so he may give me some first aid info and make me promise to get medical attention if I need it. However another guidence counselor may consider SI to be extremely dangerous, and bring in the school social workers to talk to me, call my parents, etc, while another counselor (We have like 5) might decide to have the nurse look at my SI stuff and have her decide if it warrents medical attention, and if it does, then they will bring in social workers/parents/etc and if it doesn't, then they will leave it as a confidential manner between my counselor and the nurse. All of those grey areas could be outlined in a signed agreement (contract sounds too serious) so your parents don't get upset if your therapist doesn't tell them something like you've started cutting after you promised you'd stop, and you don't have to worry about your parents finding out certain things. I would add something in there that you should be informed that your therapist is informing your parents about something before they actually tell your parents, and given the option to be there when they are told, or tell them yourself. That way, you aren't going to come home from school one day to see that your parents know about such and such thing. Like, your therapist should tell you "Okay, I think your parents need to know about BlahBlah. I'm going to tell them. Would you like to tell them yourself, or be there when I tell them?" Okay this post is long. haha I hope everything goes okay. As far as asking for help- Do it! I'm a huge hypocrite- I'm not doing it, but I should be. . . I really should be, so you should too

[Zloppy]

Thanks Bella. I know I am not Bipolar I. Maybe Bipolar II, but even that seems a bit more than I am. Maybe what I have isn't Bipolar *thinks*. Anyways, thanks for the reply. Rather long though. But I read it pretty fast too.

There are also like 5 or 6 counselors at my school too.

But with what slothrop says about Bipolar II and not going 130 mph and stuff and having "sudden swings between debilitating depression and feeling just fine." fits me. So maybe I do. lol all confusing :P

but thanks both of you for great replies