[LoneRose]

I have been suffering from depression since i was 16, i am now 30. I have had some help on and off but always very short periods as i suddenly would feel much better and then just stop going to therapy.. I have just started seeing a psychiatrist again on a weekly basis, have been there around 6 or 7 times now and so far so good.
My brother has also been suffering from depression for many many years, or so they thought. He has just been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and i snow finally feeling much better with the right medication. My brother and i are very similar in how we feel and when i read up on bipolar it all made sense to me. I also took a test and scored very high.. I know i dont suffer from depression as my mood will jump up and down from day to day or week to week. I will go from being so depressed, isolating myself, feeling worthless to feeling fantastic the net day. I will be full of energy and feel like nothing is wrong with me at all. The next day i will be completely down again.. I will go months without wanting sex to suddenly craving it constantly, almost wanting to jump anyone
I told my psychiatrist about this but he just said that "people who THINK they have got bipolar usually don´t" and that was it!!!
I then went to my doctor and asked to be assesed but she didn´t know anything about the illness and said i should talk to my psychiatrist again

Now i just feel so stupid! Who will listen to me i wonder, like where can i go to get help or find out if i do suffer from it???

[conigogo]

Your psychiatrist sounds like he/she isn't very sensitive to your needs. Bipolar runs in families, and the fact that your brother has been diagnosed should get your doctor's attention. My father, my sister, and I have all been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Your doc saying that if you wonder if you are Bipolar means you're not is ridiculous. When I went through two major eipisodes and was hospitalized during second episode, I, of course wondered aloud to the hospital psychiatrist if I might be Bipolar. My dad and sister had been diagnosed years ago. He gave me a questionnaire, and my results were undeniable. Do you have the option to see a different psychiatrist? I certainly hope so, because you need someone who will LISTEN to you.

[bizi]

great advice!
bizi

[snowflakes]

Originally Posted by LoneRose

I have had some help on and off but always very short periods as i suddenly would feel much better and then just stop going to therapy.

>>>>

hi there!

i think what you need to do is to continually push through with your therapy. As I have seen it, your problems manifested only after you stopped seeing your therapist. This is the problem to some other people that after a short time of feeling good about themselves, they stopped seeing or doing the regular routine which they are ought to do. I think that you should regularly see your therapist. on the other hand, if you think that you are being disregarded by your therapist regarding your complain, you should really see another one. Try a second opinion. Afterall there is nothing wrong with doing it.

Godbless!

[LoneRose]

Thanks for you answers

I have been lying awake for the last three nights, my mind racing like mad. everything is falling into place and it all makes sence to me now. Now i just need to talk to my psychiatrist again about it on tuesday.
I have started to keep a diary so that he can see how i jump in moods from day to day.

I feel so sorry for my husband. He is really trying to help but it is so difficult for me to let him in.. he has no idea what is going on inside me and it is so hard to explain. Today i love him tomorrow i dont, how do you explain that to someone who is so dear to you? I can´t stand these moodswings anymore now and i really hate myself for it at the moment...

I spoke to my best firend about it yesterday, or tried to explain how i felt. She had a hard time understanding..

Anyway.. i cant wait for tuesday to come

[conigogo]

I know that right now Tuesday seems so far away--especially with the weekend coming. Hang in there, and please keep us updated as things develop. You are safe and welcome here.

[mlpHolmes]

Hi LoneRose!

In your letter you do have the Depressive episodes. True, there is a strong pattern that it does run in families. However I would have to challenge your Dr's. response 'about patients who think they have a bipolar disorder usually don't'???!! If this is the psychiatrist you are going back to see, I think you need to question & discuss this.
Throughout Psych Central there will be Forums titled DISORDERS you will find informative, basic information & frequently asked questions. Please don't worry, the new Bipolar medications available are fantastic!! I thank God every day & night.

Stay in Touch!
Holmes
Bipolar Chat, rt. here, ev. Wed. 8:00 pm est! Love to see You!

[bizi]

Mood Tracker Tool...
Hope this is ok to post this:

Just wanted to post this link...it is a great tool to track your moods, meds and sleep patterns. Easy to use and you can print out a graph to give your tdoc or pdoc.

http://www.moodtracker.com/usermain.php

bizi

[Schatje]

My story is very similar to you. I'm going to be 30 in just a couple weeks. I began to show signs of depression at around 13. I was dx with depression at 16. I took meds for depression on and off until I was finally dx a few years ago with bipolar. It wasn't until I was dx bipolar II and given medication for bipolar rather than just depression that I saw the difference. I found the antidepressants helped a bit, but not enough. I would seek a second opinion. Write everything down before hand. Tell them that your brother was dx bipolar II. Be very open and I hope for your sake you end up with a dx and a treatment that works for you.

[LoneRose]

Thankagain for all your replies. It raelly helps a lot!

I feel more than ready to go and talk to my psyhiatrist about it now. All the nights i have been lying awake my thoughts have really helped me to understand. I always saw my life as very confusing but now actually see a pattern of high and low. I should have have got up and written it all down but didn´t want to wake up my son and husband. So i must try and clear my head and write everything down before going to therapy.

I always felt like i had just been down down down, but now i can easily see what brings me up into a manic state. Not that i get extremely manic, but i definately change my mood completely.
It can be when i get into a conversatioen about something i really believe in. Then i really get worked up, start to talk very fast and wont stop untill everybody agrees with me. i will get highly agitated, even angry if people cant see that what i say is the right thing.. I told my friend this the other day and she sighed and said that she was so glad i now knew because she actually always avoided getting into a discussion with me because of that reason

Also with regards to sex. I can go for moths without it, actually feeling repulsed by it, not being attracted to my husband at all. Then suddenly i will start to crave it 24/7, i will be fantasising about it all the time, wanting to be with everyone - man or woman. I have hurt my last partner of 6 years a lot being in this stage.
All the things i have done that i am sooo embarresed by, that is so against my nature, that i have kept as secrets suddenly makes sense to me..

I do hope i will soon find the right answer. The thought of my future being in someone elses hand is very scary. Imagine if they say i dont suffer from bipolar, then what do i do??? Not that i WANT to suffer from it, but it would be great to be able to finally put a finger on it and start trying to help me out of this unstable lifestyle!

Hugs from Lone who is very nervous

[bizi]

YOu are exhibiting classic signes of being bipolar if you pdoc doesn't diagnose you as such then you need to find a new pdoc.
This can be a very empowering time...I know that when I was first diagnosed I wasn ot in a good frame of mind, denial and such. after the many years of therapy and going off meds to then become manic.
I have had to apoligise to everyone around me for my behavior...this remorse is normal and don't beat yourself up about it. You are getting things straight in your mind and I think it is very exciting to be able to have some relief in site. Being bipolar is no picnic but medications have given me some stabilty.
bizi