[TheGreatGatsby]

Every time I have my 'ups' I get increasingly and extremely violent. The tiniest things set it off. For instance, my brother couldn't fix his video game and kept screaming at me to fix it when I couldn't either. I completely lost it and kicked the video game along with punching various things.

I keep getting more and more thoughts of violence! It's uncontrollable...my father always remarks at how angry and mean I am (not helpful)

Not really sure what to do!*($*(&@*($

[miastella]

Hi, Welcome to PC. You didn 't say a lot about yourself, but, maybe you expect a bit too much from yourself. Also, siblings can really hit our triggers --- it's part of their job description. Are you in therapy or on medication? There are so many things that can make us more frustrated. Today I dropped just about everything I picked up --- and by dinner I was cursing like a sailor! Write back --- lot's of people here post and they aren't judgemental.

[St. John Wort]

Anger is a force to be reckoned with for me too. Before i was diagnosed I used to punch/break everything. All the doors in my house have holes or cracks in them. I have broken about 5 windshields over the years- all for reasons I dont even remember. I have yelled at people I love, people I hate, and people I dont even know. I assaulted a teacher and a security guard while I was in High School and was kicked out for a while.

Get some help because it doesnt get easier without it.

Exercise helps. Punching bags are great. It helps to set aside time to CONCENTRATE on relaxing yourself-deep breathing/meditation or simply (slowly) drinking a cup of tea over a ten minute period.

Be proactive and help yourself. Good luck.

[madisgram]

i agree with the other posts 100%. a therapist, exercise, deep breathing, etc. sometimes this can be an indicator of bipolar disorder-hypomania, imho. it's like not a real high but extremely agiitated. if it's interfering with your life a lot, a diagnosis and meds might help. hope this helps and keep us posted. many of us can relate to what's going on with you.

[cybermember]

Originally Posted by TheGreatGatsby

Every time I have my 'ups' I get increasingly and extremely violent. The tiniest things set it off. For instance, my brother couldn't fix his video game and kept screaming at me to fix it when I couldn't either. I completely lost it and kicked the video game along with punching various things.

I keep getting more and more thoughts of violence! It's uncontrollable...my father always remarks at how angry and mean I am (not helpful)

Not really sure what to do!*($*(&@*($

I'm getting the sense that you are still in school, but I'm not sure as to what grade. Perhaps you could discuss this with your school counselor. When I was in high school I made use of the availability of the school counselor and it really helped me through the difficult times I was going through. Perhaps you could benefit as well.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by TheGreatGatsby

Every time I have my 'ups' I get increasingly and extremely violent. The tiniest things set it off. For instance, my brother couldn't fix his video game and kept screaming at me to fix it when I couldn't either. I completely lost it and kicked the video game along with punching various things.

I keep getting more and more thoughts of violence! It's uncontrollable...my father always remarks at how angry and mean I am (not helpful)

Not really sure what to do!*($*(&@*($

The thing with anger, in my experience and I certainly don't want to sound melodramatic as it is not the same with everyone, is that it is like a snowball. It keeps gathering layers as it rolls down the hill. It also picks up momentum until it is so big and moving so fast you just have to get out of the way or it will squash you.

I certainly don't think that it is the case for you at this point, but I struggled with intense rage for years and once in hospital, after having a very violent confrontaion with a person I do not know and injured that person quite badly, I was told that along with Borderline personality disorder and schizoeffective, I have "psychopathic anti-social behavioural problems". I was lucky I did not end up in jail or doing something i could never take back. I used to "black-out" with these episodes and could not remember what I had done. Not nice behaviour to live with.

My T spent 6 years trying new strategies with me, all the while risking her own life as I was extremely unpredictable. I was dx bipolar last year and found I was tested with my rage yet again.I am better at it now but nearly got into a blue with two people on the street just before Xmas in front of my son! Not good! But talked to my T and she put it into perspective.

My point is that anger can become uncontrollable without an outlet or a person to help you make sense of it. I found certain medications(anti-psychotics) helped during the really bad times. Diazepam works for me now only if I need it and I am on Lithium.

So if you can get some help......do it! It will make your life so much easier and you will not live with all the regret that I do. Good luck and keep us posted.

[skymonk]

Have you considered the possibility that you may have PTSD? I used to go into rages where everything looked red while I was having a "fit"&luckily I never got into law trouble. This year the anger/rage became a real problem for me again&my t diagnosed me w/PTSD. Bouts of rage that are "triggered" by sights, sounds, smells, being touched, etc. I just turned 40&everything came back in a flood-lots of abuse issues. Maybe this is what is going on with you? I also know that when I get manic I can be terribly nasty. Maybe try to make a journal of times when you've become angry&the yu&your t can look through it&figure some things out. I'm currrently on meds, in therapy&read lots of books on anger&controlling it. You feel what you feel but yo don't want to get in trouble because of it-go to a t.