In Recovery but confused.

Recovery for me is compliant with meds, keeping appointments with my doctors and in between episodes of mania and depression. I am a 47 year old male currently unemployed (2 years) trying to get SSDI of which I have allsup representation. This is where I am at present. In grade 1, my teacher said that I was a leader and very intelligent. Thing is, I have had over 45 jobs in my life and have never accomplished true independence (meaning not self sufficient). Never did well in grammar, middle, or high school. Recently after speaking with my doc, I was also diagnosed with ADHD and told to try Ritalin. I have to admit it does help me focus but now I do not know where to turn my focus. In the last year, I have completed several training courses through NAMI and a course through VOCAL. I welcome any advice that anyone can give and would like to correspond with like individuals. Thanks, Wally

Hi Wally,
I too have add but am not on ritalin, I try to go with what I take and hope that works for me. I understand you have done several things with nami, maybe volunteer or work with your community service board? To turn your focus towards something constructive, I mean.
I too have had a hard time with jobs, but being male has its own difficulties as expectations are different than for females.
Many of us are both intelligent and creative, perhaps volunteering as a mentor in an elementary school? There are many boys that need a good male role model in their lives and even with bp, you could be that person. I have a teacher's license and I am able to interact with the kids, but I am not able to work a full time job, per my own feelings about it. Subbing has been a way to work around it. I can go in if I'm feeling good and don't have to take a job if I'm feeling bad or anxious.
I hope this helps some,
Amy

I'm also in recovery&have found it's a lifelong journey. I also have a spotty work history&I am now on disability. I spent 3 years&$5000 to get it. They delay as much as possible to make sure that you really are disabled. At least they're finally seeing mental illness as a disability.
Keep taking your meds&going to therapy-you may need to for your lifetime-no crime in that. You need to make a routine for yourself-chores done on certain days, church, time spent with friends or here at PC. Don't give up! Bring it up with your t that you're struggling&if they're worth their salt they can help you come up with ways to cope.
In the meantime, post here or PM me-I always answer&check my inbox every day-Stay strong-you CAN get through this. Another thing-you may have expectations for yourself that are just too much for yourself right now-cut them down&into baby steps. Unfortunately that's just part of being bipolar-it's not your fault or a character flaw. I'm the same way-I congratulate myself on making through another day.

Hey Wally welcome and congratulations on taking these steps. That's often the hardest part. The can take a while to come to terms with a diagnosis, and that's fine. The time of diagnosis can be a trigger for us. The best advice I can offer is to learn to be understanding, forgiving and honest with yourself. Dealing with Bi-Polar Disorder is about trying to find balance, something that's very hard for us, because we are from one extreme to another. Don't fret when you struggle because dealing with this disorder can be hard enough without guilt and disappointment in your perceived short comings. They aren't mistakes but your learning something new, dealing with your illness. Don't let others influence your pace. Balance pushing to make yourself better with discretion. If you push too hard you can have backlash from that, but obviously it takes work in order to get better. Balance, balance, balance. Let us know what we can do for you here okay. We want to walk with you this if you need us. Good luck and take care.

Thanks for the input Skymonk. Yes, I am fighting to get disability. Next step is with a judge. Right now, I am not depressed or manic which is a good place for me to be. I am frustrated with the system now though. Basically, I want to further my education and self evaluate what I really want to accomplish. If you ever want to talk, you can pm me as well. Again, thank you. Wally

Thanks for responding Ascension. I agree that balance is the key. I just need to keep plugging. Wally

I am 26 and on disability. I am slowly working my way up to being independent and self-suficient but it's been a really hard long struggle. Two years ago all I did every day was lay in bed, two years before that I took my boyfriend's parent's car across country on short notice and got in an accident and was just acting wrecklessly. Before that was college, which I bombed and couldn't handle. Throughout it all was various mood episodes.
So, now I'm trying school part-time and working part-time, which is very very difficult. I'm working about 15 hours a week [at times less] and this semester I'm going to try two classes. We'll see how it all goes. It's been hard to get even here. Harder than I thought it would be.

Anyway, enough about me.
I would suggest focusing on getting disability and getting stable and staying stable for a while. Then, see if you can volunteer some place a couple times a week.
If that works out, contact vocational rehabilitation and use your Ticket to Work [which is a program that is part of disability] to get involved in a work program. That is how I am going to school. Through a work training program with vocational rehabilitation.
Start with something part-time then move on from there.
I just would suggest you go slow because you want to make sure you're successful, ya know? And it can be surprisingly jarring sometimes when you start working again.

Sorry if I sound preachy or anything like that.

I have found NAMI programs have been excellent tools to help in recovery: Peer-to-Peer classes--I've now become trained to be a mentor (paid teacher) of this class, IMR (Illness Management & Recovery), WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan), INOV (a program where you get trained to speak to groups like the Lions Club or Kiwaniis or Univ. classes & get paid--stands for In Our Own Voice); Provider Educ. where you get trained to team teach a class to mental health providers (psychiatrists, social workers, therapists, etc.) in mental health facilities in a 10-week course lasting 3 hours a week (you do get paid for this)--numerous opportunities to share your wisdom & you also will often be offered a job opportunity at NAMI (I was) at the local or state affiliate.

By volunteering first you get your "feet wet" & then you can often find your niche. Best to you.--Suzy

wally,will keep it short...gotta run.."office of vocational rehabilitation" under state of virginia in white pages. you already qualify due to your diagnoses. they can provide testing, couseling, schooling, job placement. good luck and i admire you for wanting to get your life stabilized and becoming all that you can be.