[vacantangel]

They don't call it rapid cycling for nothing. One minute you're up, the next you're down, without even blinking an eye. WTH!!! I wasn't ready to give up that hypomanic episode yet. I want it back NOW!!!

AG

[TheCheshireCat]

Yeah, I know that bloody drill all too well. It's not the going up that causes me problems. Nothing like skimming across the stratosphere in a flower-powered minutes-are-hours mind-the-satellite towers euphoria without an iota of fear in your body. It's when the fuel gauge suddenly drops to zero and the plunge begins so fast you don't even feel it until you're a human debris field scattered across the dark side of the moon that the yang to the yin rings across the bits of your skull and you relearn what you've learned so many times before: what goes up, way, way up, Chuck Yeager in the X-15 up, comes down hard. Still, you're right. I never care about that when I'm star-tripping. Think I would've learned by now. But tomorrow is another day, and the next hour is a million years in the future to a rapid cycler riding comets. Ta. Cheshire Cat

[nothemama8]

Well the fun is over the blackness is here, spriling doom, no bottom to reach

[vacantangel]

Star tripping. I like that and why waste a good cheap high thinking about impending doom and gloom. Not me, I'm enjoying every single second of it while I can. We need a good smilie in here for star-tripping, dontcha think? Just love your imaginative descriptions of things. If I didn't know you, I'd think you were on drugs!!! I think we need to co-ordinate and go star-tripping together. Does that sound like a plan? We can bounce off the walls together and if we crashed into each other, we wouldn't even care. Ooooh, this is really beginning to sound like fun!!!

[vacantangel]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Well the fun is over the blackness is here, spriling doom, no bottom to reach

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Oh, this is certainly not sounding like fun at all. I'm sorry you are spiralling and haven't even found the bottom yet. YIKES!!! Take care of yourself and talk to us if you need to. Hugs sweetie. I wouldn't wish this trip on anyone.

[sqrlb8]

Remember when Dorothy glimpsed the little old man behind the curtain who controlled the image of the great OZ? Rapid cycling reminds me of that for some reason. It's like my cycles are these magnified apparitions controlled by some diminutive lunatic who remains hidden from view. The more distracting and or distressing the apparition, the more i'm looking for my inner Dorothy.

One thing i've found though is, as delicious as it is when the universal light shines in my mind and illuminates all the mysteries, as hypnotic and ecstatic and prefferable to the other end of the cycle as it is, the more I identify myself with it, invest myself in it, the harder the fall. I didn't get anywhere with the downside until I could partially divorce myself from the high.

My inner Dorothy keeps an eye on that curtain now, knowing that good or bad, the apparition is just that an apparition.

Ya just gotta love a guy whose in touch with his inner Dorothy!!

emsky aka tofubutt, and pal of your pals

[nothemama8]

sqrl8 Im catholic, I can't divorce myself from the high but I think I'm feeling a bit better
I'm letting one of the alters do my day
Angie

[vacantangel]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Remember when Dorothy glimpsed the little old man behind the curtain who controlled the image of the great OZ? Rapid cycling reminds me of that for some reason. It's like my cycles are these magnified apparitions controlled by some diminutive lunatic who remains hidden from view. The more distracting and or distressing the apparition, the more i'm looking for my inner Dorothy.

One thing i've found though is, as delicious as it is when the universal light shines in my mind and illuminates all the mysteries, as hypnotic and ecstatic and prefferable to the other end of the cycle as it is, the more I identify myself with it, invest myself in it, the harder the fall. I didn't get anywhere with the downside until I could partially divorce myself from the high.

My inner Dorothy keeps an eye on that curtain now, knowing that good or bad, the apparition is just that an apparition.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I understand what you're saying and you could be onto something there but there is just something about this high that it's hard not to live in the moment. It happens so seldom, I don't want to think of my normal state of doom and gloom. I'd rather enjoy the high to the fullest and I'll deal with the impending crash when it hits. You just never know how far off that is, it could be weeks, days, hours or even in the next minute, there is no warning, it just smacks you in the butt and you're on that elevator that comes crashing down faster than you could even imagine. I wish it came with warnings but nope, it hits in an instant. That's the hard part but I'm not even gonna think about all that doom and gloom that is just around the corner, I need to have some more fun, fun, fun right now.

So how long have you been dealing with all this?

[vacantangel]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sqrl8 Im catholic, I can't divorce myself from the high but I think I'm feeling a bit better
I'm letting one of the alters do my day
Angie

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well, if you got an alter, why not share. Glad you found a way to deal with it and you're feeling better. I don't have any alters to share with, so it's just me, myself and I (but that's only 1, not 3 of me).

[TheCheshireCat]

Hullo Angel,
The day you and I sync up on hypomanic highs is the day we go on a multi-state crime spree, stealing only Twinkies from convenience stores and tossing them at any passing driver we just plain don't like the looks of. Running up and down the stairs at Fortune 500 corporations singing the appalling "Barney the Purple Dinosaur" song for no reason at all except it makes a lot of unpleasant noise. Skinny-dipping in the relecting pool at the Washington Monument. Stealing Donald Trump's wig and passing it on to some poor dog with mange. And that'll be just by 7 a.m. It will be the convergence of all convergences. Can't wait. Cheshire Cat

[vacantangel]

oh how i love how your mind works. i think we are so good together. no telling what might happen next. lmao