[Berries]

I got this thought in my head and I can't get it out.
It is: I don't have a right to post here anymore, because I stopped taking my meds.
Is that stupid?

I had a T a while ago that said she didn't "see" anything but a bit of depression and a bit of anxiety and now I am hell bent on finding out if I am really bipolar 1. ( I was DXed 25 years ago)

I just had a mixed episode that ended a month ago. But it was triggered by Prednisone. I am off the prednisone now, and I think the mixed episode and "crazy" thoughts are over, now.

But I am feeling extremely negative and having lots of suicidal type thoughts and I am sort of trying to hurt myself physically (not cutting). But, I am chalking that off to sudden drug withdrawal (seroquil and welbutrin). I have been off the meds for 3 weeks now. (I’ve been off lamictal for 5 months.)

I am really freaking out about this. What if I really am not bipolar? I've been through all kinds of Mental Illness hell the last 25 years. I've been hospitalized several times, had ECT, been on meds, SIed, had one major suicide attempt, never had a full time job... If all I am is "a bit" depressed and a "bit anxious", what the hell have I been doing with my life????

Is it OK with you guys, if I still post on here?

[jbug]

I don't have a problem with you posting.

I hope you get to feeling better and find out what is "wrong" with you. I hate using that term. I don't like thinking anything is wrong with me.

Jan

[Michah]

Of course you should post here!!!.........even if not bipolar, you still lived the experience.......and thats valuable!! Good luck, babe

[Junerain]

Sometimes we get caught up in the label of what our mental illness is. Mental illness is hard and very hard and if a T doesn't 'see' more than anxiety and depression, that T is only human, not a God who has the final answer about your mental illness. It sounds like as far as what you are doing with your life, you do and do, you try and try, the best you can. Is the withdrawl working? That only your Pdoc knows but you sound pretty down, and if the question is can you post here, we welcome you, sounds like you are questioning things. I care about you, you can PM me anytime...awwwww.....

[Crazynurse]

Is it OK with you guys, if I still post on here? [/quote]

You know, I think I might be looking for a second opinion if I were you.....just my humble opinion. I worked with medical docs for years and you know what, they occassionaly misdiagnoised. These docs didn't mean to make a mistake but sometimes physical diseases take on the appearance ot several. I think the same applies to mental illness and the degrees of that mental illness. And, if you were in a remission of sorts when you saw this T, it could have been decieving.

Should you still post here, by all means. You have help so many others with your wisdom, sat with people and held their hand all night in support chat to help them not just explode mentally, and are an inspiration with your replies on here. Please don't go away because one T had an opinion....you know, everybody has one.

[madisgram]

imho i think it's wonderful you post here. you help so many ppl, me included, with all of our life events whether it be BPD or not.

[Fuzzybear]

[AdamAW]

As I understand it there are many different types of bi-polar, and this forum is for supporting anyone who have any of the symptoms that fall somewhere along that spectrum.

[blue cloud]

pc is the lovely boat that will always welcome your posts

[JourneyUpward]

{{{Lbien6}}}
Of course you should still post here. You are a part of this community. I hope you don't mind my asking, but who told you to stop taking the meds? Please tell your Pdoc or doctor what your therapist thinks and tell him/her what you are going through. Stopping the meds so quickly can throw our whole systems of kilter, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Some therapists are not as skilled with the bipolar spectrum as others. The therapist I saw only twice almost sent me over the edge--she got me into such a state that she had to stop my Pdoc from seeing his next appt and call him in to our session. He told me not to see her anymore and she is the therapist he uses for his practice. She just didn't understand what she was dealing with in my case.

Perhaps your therapist, no matter how good she is, isn't as familiar with the intricate workings of the mood spectrum.
Please don't give up--you have fought a good fight and you can do it again--you have all of us here at PC cheering for you and ready to help.
Journey