[cocoa]

I know I don't post very often but I come here and read most days.
I feel as if I know most of you but knowone knows me. I find it hard to open up with people because i'm so scared to make a friend just to loss one.

I'm so down. I'm like i'm lost and can't find myself. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. Stress in my life brought this depression on and now I am sinking lower and lower each day to the point that it is scaring me.
Yes I do have bipolar and have been dealing with it for years. I was doing so well and now to drop so low, its like I forget how I ever did it in the past.

any help welcome

Jacqui

[sqrlb8]

Well for as low as you sound, you also sound like you still know how to be safe and all that. So, assuming you intend to ride this out ....

Try to remember it cycles and that the turn is coming. Can you remember how long the last cycle so low was? This one will probably be similar.

I find that resisting it makes it worse for the most part. Sometimes I can only watch videos and sometimes I can only stay in bed. Try to accomodate yourself.

Can you write a poem or draw a picture? Doing something creative releases some nice chemicals into the mix. Every little bit helps, eh?

Hope you start to feel better soon. tc.

[cocoa]

Thanks for your Help, sqrlb

Its nice to see someone at least cares a little to try and help.
I went a way to a good friends house for the weekend. I really needed a change and new faces . I think it helped. My mood is still down but with a little hard work I do seem to be picking myself off the ground.
Thanks again

Jacqui

[nothemama8]

Jacqui, like sqrl says as long as you remember it only lasts for a little while your going to be fine,
I enjoyed talking to you in chat
(((((Hugs))))) if wanted
Angie

It is a good idea to remember that it will get better....that keeps me going........xoxoxo pat

[darkeyes]

I am so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling so well.
I've always been like that too about making friends and fearing losing them, such hangup has caused me to never really form a strong friendship, I was burnt by some past friends and then never bothered to allow myself to become close to anyone, even getting social phobic anxiety attacks.
Yep, I was DXed as you may remember, as being bipolar-II (mild) I know too well that sinking feeling, I send you my hugs with this.
Have you contacted your pdoc about how you are feeling right now? If not maybe it can be of some help to you.
Please know that you have friends here and always feel free to talk to us.
Please take care now,

DE

[vacantangel]

I understand what you're going through. I posted a thread in the General forum a few days ago stating that I was losing myself and a sense of belonging. I'm BP2 as well. I also understand your comment about being afraid of making friends only to lose them. Been there, done that. It hurts like hell. I'm just recovering from the depths of the abyss. It was especially scary that time for me too. I don't have any magic answers for you, I wish I did sweetie. I don't cope with my rapid cycling very well at all. My T suggested to me today to try to divert myself before I hit bottom and become suicidal with hopes of redirecting my cycle. I'm not sure if I can be successful with that or not but that's what I'm going to try next time. You could try doing something like that. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck and hope your stay in the abyss is a very short one. It's definitely not a place any of us like to be in for very long. ((((((((((((cocoa)))))))))))))0

[cocoa]

thanks nothemama

I've been feeling much better these past fue days. I enjoyed chatting with you as well by the way.

Jacqui

[cocoa]

thanks pat

kisses and hugs right back acha

[cocoa]

Thanks for caring De

I have a doctors appointment on monday and im glad I do have friends here. Its always nice to see and hear it though. You guys make me feel much better.

hugs
Jacqui

[cocoa]

I beleave the abyss has past, thank god.
Its great knowing i'm not alone here.

Thanks so much
((((((((((( AngelGirl ))))))))))

Jacqui

[just4today]

Hi,jacqui.I haven't been able to post here for a while so we haven't met but I just read your original post and related very strongly to it(as many others did).Just wanted to say "hi" and good for you for looking for support early in your struggle.Wish I always had the insight to do that.I belong to another support forum for an eye disease I have and find these folks to be amazing.I'm bipolarII,rapid cycling mixed states(actually,my name is jill...).Any way,awesome that you're so much better.Take care.jill.

[cocoa]

Hi Jill

wecome back to the form
I have been feeling so much better. I do think I need to ask for advise and help here more often. I have this problem with always having to be the strong person in my life. Theres no shame in asking for help and I guess we all need to reach out for it from time to time. Thanks for your support and its always nice to meet new people.

Jacqui

[darkeyes]

((((((((((( cocoa))))))))))))

Glad to hear you'll be seeing the doc soon, meanwhile as I've said before, we are here for you.
I don't want to jinx myself, but it has been awhile that I haven't felt so bad like before, I'd almost count the days,hours, before I'd have my appt. that is a good sign, he now schedules me every 4 to 6 weeks, 5 years ago was a whole different thing, whoosh!! never dreamed I'd get this far.
You hang in there, I'm sending you positive vibes over this internet

Sincerely,
DE

[cocoa]

(((((((((((((((((((( DE ))))))))))))))))))))))))

Your so sweet, thanks

I see my Doc every 4 to 5 weeks as well. That way if things come up I know it won't be long till my next appointment.

All positive internet vibes excepted hahahah

Jacqui