How did this happen? (long, I know)

Geez. You go into the psych NP's office because you are depressed as hell after having a baby. You figure that some SSRI and some therapy will make you all better. You have always had mood swings, but some really sucky crap has happened to you in life, so you have always assumed the sucky things caused the depression issues. You've never lost touch with reality- you have two college degrees, do well at your job, never spent too much money, everyone has always told you that you are really super competent in life and they wish they were like you. Your spouse loves you and the relationship is great. You have never gotten professional help before.

You take the Zoloft. Great stuff. After a month the depression is gone, and you feel like your old self (only the sex drive goes bye bye). After 8 weeks you start getting more and more hyper, you pace all the time, you do 8 loads of laundry, all the dishes, vacuum the house, and wash the car in one day. You catch yourself wanting to shop all the time (but you stop yourself). Your sex drive is back, and stronger than it ever was before (hubby loves that). You wake up after three hours of sleep crying that you hate yourself and you should just die already. BUT you really don't want to die- you just feel like crap. You can't sleep after that. You are constantly in motion. You freak out over stupid crap.

Your postpartum mood disorder support group says you should tell the NP about this stuff. You don't want to, but you need to.

Great. Now I am bipolar, with a case of PTSD stemming from an attempted rape 12 years ago. Go in depressed, come out batshit crazy. Hypomania sucks so much.

Now what do I do?

yeah, sometimes it seems like you leave more screwed up than you started. I've been taken zoloft for a couple weeks, so I will be looking forward to the sex drive increase...but then again if it increases to much, I'll never get out the door to get back in school or find a job...but what a way to decline into utter poverty

I originally started with some anxiety issues. Now I have ADD, PTSD, & bi-polar...& according to the sanity test maybe OCD which I never even considered & on 4 different meds...I'm keeping the pharmacutical companies stock rising that's for sure.

Well, bipolar plus PTSD doesn't necessarily add up to batshit crazy...

Getting a diagnosis doesn't create or even reinforce the condition...if you have a condition, hey, it was already there, you're just getting a name for it.

And if you're really bipolar, then a diagnosis gets you some more treatment options...this has been a good thing, at least for me! Depression meds alone were never enough. (My bipolar meds are not necessarily "enough" either, but they're closer.)

I think you should talk to the NP and see what s/he can tell you. Just my $0.02.

Hear you babe, same same. 21, had my son, depression 8 months later, dx borderline personality disorder and schizoeffective, years of hospital, meds, therapy(whilst working as Accounts exec and for the Government).This went on for 10 years. Finally come good, meet an awesome guy, get another job, start my science degree and then, BAM, 2007 hospital, bipolar. Resign from job, cannot work, stop my degree.

I have had chronic, transient physical health problems for years. 5 years of debilitating physical symptoms which no one can explain.......my shrinks say not psychosomatic......if it is, it is the most atypical case they have ever seen. Very complex. My surgeon, my gynea and various emergency doctors have all stood there scratching their heads, going it doesn't fit.

I know about alice in the looking glass.......i am there as we speak. I hope you find your way out of the confusion babe.......it can feel very lonely.

In stillness........

Lamictal and Lithium are sitting at the pharmacy waiting for me. I have to get some bloodwork done before I am allowed to take them. I have a friend who told me she was taking mood stabilizers for depression stuff. I told her what my official diagnosis was and she said she has bipolar as well! Apparently our NPs are both very up on the latest research about this stuff which is cool.

I really had no idea about all the different forms of bipolar disorder. I thought you had to lose touch with reality during the mania to have it. Wow, my psych nursing class must have really stunk because that is most definitely not true! We spent all of 15 minutes on mania, most of which was talking about how bipolars will manipulate, be noncompliant, not care who they hurt...etc etc etc. And I really had no clue the SSRI drugs could trigger mania or hypomania. WOW there is a lot of ignorance going on in my profession...

Thanks for the support

Yeah, Lamictal and Lithium are now my cocktail. I've been on so many other combinations and now I'm weaning down to just Lithium and Lamictal. I was so resistant to Lithium but I haven't had any horrible side effects so far.

It's scary to get that Bipolar diagnosis b/c it brings up all sorts of images in your mind. I also went through nursing school and you definitely only learn about the most severe forms. Then my clinical rotations made it that much more frightening. It really doesn't have to be that bad. If you have a good treatment team and are compliant and find a good combination of meds then it's defniitely something that's manageable.

Good luck and take care~

Yeah, psych rotation scared the crap out of me. The only person with mania I have ever met was transferred to the state psych facility...for trying to kill me. I did nothing wrong (staff confirmed this), but the person was convinced I was Satan and they needed to break my neck with a chair. I am glad the furniture was bolted to the floor...I was never actually in danger but wow it was a bit of a freaky experience.

That day was weird... after the "kill Satan with a chair" episode I was asked if I was God by another patient later that afternoon. I told him "no sir, I am not".

I then decided that while I was doing well in my clinical, Psych was not to be my future specialty.

Have you ever seen Ghost Busters!!!

"If anyone asks you if you are a God,you say...YES!!"

I love that line.

You would probably get a kick out of my "manic" episode...
It's in the skitzophenia forum under "what was your wierdest hallucination ever....I think I'm winning

Since you have had a baby and are having these issues, I would suggest getting your hormones checked! I say this not because I don't trust the diagnosis, but because there are other situatins that can cause manic type symptoms such as thyroid disease...appropriate tests at the bottom...and ovarian hormonal imbalances!

For the ovarian hormone imbalances, you should have your hormones checked in the follicular (days 1,2,or 3) AND luteal phase (days 19, 20, or 21) of your menstrual cycle! Try to keep a journal of your symptoms on a calendar so that you can track when your moods are worse, mine are in the luteal phase. For example, postmenopausal women's estrogen levels should be at least 100 or more, mine were 13 in the follicular phase and 60 in the luteal phase and I an perimenopaussal and still having periods! I just started BHRT or you can take a high estrogen 50 mg. of estrogen as opposed to more progesterone BCP that could help with some or all of your symptoms! Trust me just a little estrogen stopped my psychosis that I was having 10 days of each month and I just started the estrogen in the form of bioidenticals! It couldn't hurt to get your levels tested...if you have an appointment that is not around the times suggested, get an order and go to a lab during those times!

If you have any questions or I can be of further support, please message me!

Best Wishes,

TJ