Questioning past behavior (really long, sorry)

I've been thinking a lot about past experiences at work; times when I completely lost it or had complaints from co-workers about my moodiness. I no longer work there, I have a new job now in a different field but I fear that I'll "lose it" again one day.

I'm a very shy and quiet person, not confrontational at all. Sometimes people would complain that I was biting their heads off for no reason or ignoring everyone around me. That would always hurt my feelings because it felt like everyone was against me and most of the time I didn't realize I was doing it. At times when I was supposedly ignoring people, there was a lot of chatter in my head -- just trying to keep everything straight and get everything done. I'd become so focused on the tasks that I didn't realize I was being aggressive and dismissive to others.

There was this one really bad episode that caused me to get suspended for three days. Someone complained to my boss (she was also my best friend) and said I yelled and cursed at them. I remember I was really stressed, and when my boss/friend questioned me about it I had a complete meltdown -- I got really hurt and pissed that she took the other girl's side over mine. I yelled and cussed at my boss and told her I was quitting -- she chased after me and took me to the bathroom to talk to me. It felt like everyone was against me. I started crying and couldn't stop, then was told to go home.

I have a lot more episodes that I wonder about, but does any of that sound like mania or hypomania, or was I just *****y?

Hi, maybe the mood stablizer isn't working like it should.

I'm BipolarII. I have to take an anti-depressant, a mood-stablizer and a anti-anexity.

I can have no caffeeine. Sugar I have to use honey It's really good for you though.

A glass of milk seems to mellow me out when I start getting antzy and it's NOT medication time.

I can't drink alcohol.....

I have to eat

The brain controls everything.... and I can only try and manager with the listed.

Still..... I AM A WRECK....

Starlite, I think my problem is that I need mood stabilizers. I used to go to therapy and a psychiatrist back when I was 20 or 21. I only remember a few things about it but know for sure they put me on Prozac. They mentioned I could possibly be bipolar, so they decided to put that on the back burner and wait it out, to see if I responded to meds for depression. I quit going to them after a year and tried to handle everything on my own. The more things I read on this site, the more I wonder if I am bipolar. I think maybe I've had manic episodes in the past -- but not really sure what qualifies as manic.

Thank you for taking the time out to answer me.

This does sound like one aspect of mania, but you have to have other symptoms as well. I would go see a pdoc so that you can get properly diagnosed and get on the right meds. I know that anger can be hard to deal with and wroking with a therapist can teach you techniques on how to deal with the anger

Listed is just a line or two you've written..............

"I completely lost it or had complaints from co-workers about my moodiness. I no longer work there, I have a new job now in a different field but I fear that I'll "lose it" again one day."

"I have a lot more episodes that I wonder about, but does any of that sound like mania or hypomania, or was I just *****y?"

"shy and quiet person"
"Sometimes people would complain that I was biting their heads off for no reason or ignoring everyone around me."
Depression is big. Irritable. Moodiness. .....................

There is NOTHING WRONG WITH 'bipolar' it's a title. It's better to know and get the correct medications then feel all alone isolated in your own head....it's okay to know than not.


ALL of the listed are factors directly relating to BIPOLAR.

PERSONAL (of course) YOU hit it right on the nose BIPOLAR
Now bipolar isn't this ALL Depressed all CRAZY MANIC, mania thing... but the mood fluxuates OFTEN.

Even take the test with certain soda, sugar ups and downs.

THIS POST COULD BE A POST I COULD HAVE WRITTEN PRIOR TO FINALLY AFTER ALL OTHER DIAGNOSIS MYSELF.....

P.s. Depression was the first one the started treated me for..... Bipolar came later......... Serious

Thanks for the answers you guys -- I guess I can quit wondering about it, even if it is scary. I used to get so frustrated and paranoid at work, a lot of times it seemed like they were all against me. I felt like I was invisible sometimes and tried to keep to myself but they still complained I was hostile toward them. I was only trying to focus my thoughts most of the time -- keep on track at work. It didn't seem to me like I was deliberately not talking to them because all the chatter in my head is what I was hearing. This stuff really is scary!!