So over it!

Rachie · May 30, 2009, 10:03 AM

Im so sick of being left at home while my bf gets to go out and do whatever the hell he wants! And in the off chance when i do go out i hate how guilty he makes me feel for wanting to have a little fun. He turns into the biggest jerk when he drinks! Its not fair i deserve a little me time and i deserve not to be made feel guilty for wanting this!!!

Rachie · May 30, 2009, 10:08 AM

I hate my life and id be glad if i just dropped dead!

JayS · May 30, 2009, 05:30 PM

Rachie

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Do you think you would be able to talk to him and come up with some kind of agreement, say you get to go out on some days and he gets to go out on others?

And you don't want to die, I know how you can feel like that some days, God knows I feel like that all the time and have came close to it. But all the bad is really not worth being dead over. There are people that love you and we all here at PC really care about you so please stay alive.

Rachie · May 30, 2009, 08:49 PM

Believe me ive tried that but when its my turn to do something hes that damn selfish he just does whatever he wants. The only reason he wants to go out is to root around on me. I so reckon hes cheating i have that same feeling i had when he done it the first time and hes acting all suss aswel. I ****ING HATE HIM! And to think only yesterday i said i truely love him. Pfft im such a loser. I probably deserve to be treated like crap cos thats all i am any way!

JayS · May 30, 2009, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachie

Believe me ive tried that but when its my turn to do something hes that damn selfish he just does whatever he wants. The only reason he wants to go out is to root around on me. I so reckon hes cheating i have that same feeling i had when he done it the first time and hes acting all suss aswel. I ****ING HATE HIM! And to think only yesterday i said i truely love him. Pfft im such a loser. I probably deserve to be treated like crap cos thats all i am any way!

No no no! your not a loser and you do not deserve to be treated like that at all. Your better then he is, he's just trying to control you, you need to leave him.

beadlady29-old · May 30, 2009, 10:32 PM

((((((((((((Rachie))))))))))))))))
beads heart goes out to you cuz we is in very similar circumstances liveing with stupid bf controlling, etc. and we blames ourself for his problems but is all we knows how to do/think..........
anyway warm fuzzies to you,

beads

Rachie · May 31, 2009, 11:46 PM

Sorry you are going thru a similar thing beads *big hug*.

i dont kno what to do or think anymore. Nothing is ever going to get better for me

beadlady29-old · Jun 01, 2009, 02:37 AM

dear rachie,

things CAN get gooder, for us too............like we was reminded in chat tonite a lot of times we do have choices\alterntives.......
just have to get to a place in her head ( an yours) where can evaluate the situation with a clear head and explore all of our optiona ya know.......
unfortunately to say beads has been here before and it is never easy..........
like we has learned a few things over the years we tells you this;
iffen you thinking of splitting it is much easier on you iffen you sends THEM packign instead of leavign.... i mean y put ourselfs outta a place to live when this is HIS problem anyway........
ii mean like iffen you is thinking of gettgin away from him like we is our jerk bf we will kcik him to curb with law present........( not pack our stuff an leave because that is too hard on is we is one with m.i. not him and much easier for him to start over then us ya know).hate to say this but we is seriously conisedering this as maybe our most logical option to fix this nasty situation...
aint really made up our minds yet....still exploring what other choices.....
we can stay with and learn ways to set boundaries also this is also much easier said then done when you is liveing with a bully believe me i know butit ccan be done........
they say thqt we teaches peoples how to treat us adn we has been learning to speak up for ourselves some so like some of the bs has gotten gooder because he knows better thent o go certain places we has 'taught' him this.......
the main concern is to make sure you are safe.........pleae we dont know iffen he has ever hit you or not but iffen he has then he will again they always do once they hit it never stops always jsut gets worse in which case gettign him to leave ISA def. best option not easy but safest thing to do
no man is worth THAT..........
sometime just learning to walk away when the yellign starts can help to let them know you is NOT going to lissen to it period no matter why they is yelling.....also hard to do sometime but we is learning to do so we does not go round and round no more cuz it gets us nowhere anyway like you cant ag=rgue with a muleheaded fence post an expect to get anywhere ya know......
but you can go into another room or outside and 'get away' till they cools down........
also iffen yuo sees a T then that may be a good place to ask for some help in dealing with the bf they is usually pretty good at coping strategeis and/or resources availabel to you iffen you split up..........
anyway just throwing some thoughts out there..........
please know that beads heart really does go out to you in this difficult time because we knows how bad it sucks.........also ffel free pm beada anytime iffen you needs to we here for you,
thinking of you adn sending warm fuzzies adn peaceful thunks,

beads