[Phoenix1985]

I cut off most of my ties with my 'best friend' last night.
I'll give background first. She's planning her wedding, or was.
I was visiting her and helping, alot. We'd narrowed the weeding and
bridesmaid dresses down to a few. Tried helping with rings but have
something of a taste clash lol. Now, I hadn't been taking my meds in
any manner of properness so was quite unstable. Talking to her and
her fiance on MSN they said something that hurt because it reminded
me of my ex that broke up with me two days before Christmas just
gone. I was also missing a good friend of mine who also happens to
be my first love. I was also a fair bit down because it looked like I'd be
the only person flying solo at her then airport wedding. But I was
helping her as much as possible. SHE KNEW ALL OF HOW I WAS
FEELING AND WHY. I also talked her out of cancelling due to cold feet
twice. Last night she told me the wedding wasn't going to be happening.
I asked why and she said because it was obviously a pain in my arse to
help her because my personal message on MSN was "helping a bride
plan her wedding is hard work lol" AND because I was more upset that
she was getting married and I wasn't. She KNOWS I have NO wish
to get married!! So I've blocked her on MSN and remoced both her
and her fiance from my facebook Friends. I'm sick of always being the
one in the wrong with her. Oh, and after that **** last night she changed
her MSN display name to "aint no **** kicker" and her personal message
to "true friends are true friends when you need them. and are happy
for you when good things happen instead of being jealous".

I WAS ****ING HAPPY FOR HER!!!!!!!!

HOORAY FOR BEING OFF MY MEDS!!!!!!!!

[easy goer]

It sounds like the emotions of both of you are getting in the way of what would normally be a nice friendship. I wonder if all this stress about the wedding was not happening, then maybe you two could be friends again? Perhaps when things calm down it will be better. Good luck.

[Michah]

Trust your instincts my sweet, but put a time limit on the anger and hurt(do not linger there longer than necessary-it will create much resentment)......the road to forgiveness is paramount for healing, for you not for her.

It may turn out that you shall be friends again, but if you are sick of feeling like the one who is in the wrong, then I imagine this is not the first time you have felt this way......you do not need to feel that, it takes two to tango, babe. As much as it is your responsibility to communicate, so it is hers as well. This is not your fault, nor is it hers. All you have to ask of yourself is "Does this person look after my spirit, even though we don't have to agree on everything?" If the answer is no, then it is time to move on. Life is too short to waste on people who do not guard your spirit as well as you do.

Be kind to yourself, forgive her for her hostility(she is acting to protect herself as well) and create some distance to receive clarity.......it will come......

We are here and take good care........

[Fuzzybear]

......

[peaches100]

Something sounds fishy to me. . .

How many people call off their wedding because of how they perceive their friend feels about it??? That's like saying "OK. my friend is finding it too difficult to help me plan my wedding and is jealous, so i won't marry the man i love." WHAT?! If she really loved this guy and wanted to marry him, why would she give up that easily?

Also . . .you said you've already talked her out of her "cold feet" twice.

I could be wrong. . .but I'm wondering if she has just decided that she doesn't want to get married now, and she's looking for some excuse, so that she doesn't have to come out and say she's changed her mind now that so much planning has been done and effort put into preparing for it.

[Abby]

I ditto what peaches wrote - seems an easy way out to me!

I agree with Michah also, i've held resentments for a long, long time only to realise much later on that the only person i was hurting was myself.

For me (***warning - what do i know about friendships/relationships!!***) - Once you know what a person is like, it doesn't stop you being friends with them but it allows you to put in personal boundries of how emotionally involved you get with them to avoid getting hurt again. I think that is a healthy way of interacting, i think!

[Phoenix1985]

Thanks for your replies everyone. I'm feeling much better now, not as mad, much calmer. Again thank you.