[MysticalMoon]

How to put this so everyone may understand this?
I have never been dianosed with BPD, even thou may past is not the greatest.
My husband and I used to fight constiantly. I would go out and try to find my "prince charming" to take me away from this horrible man. I know it wasn't right but all I wanted to do was get away from him. He told a couple of theraphist that I had something wrong with me. I would also talk to other men via the internet, just to get away from him. I would try anything to get away from him.
Long story short, I am on a couple mood stablers to keep my "mood" in check. And to keep me from getting a mind of my own.
Since then I have moved away from him 4 times and end up coming back to due to the nasty things he says he's going to do. When I do come back it gets worse everytime. We ingore each other, I don't want him to touch me, I don't want to be in the same room as him, I don't want to look at him and so on..
So now I am wondering if I'm taking this meds for him or me? Like I said I was never disnosed with anything expect serve depression. The family theraphist wanted me to do to an emotional abuse class, but I couldn't because "I need more meds is all".
I am also wondering what this moving in and moving out will do to the two girls I have. One is his and one is not. The one that is his, he hardly even realizes she is alive. The older one he does realize she is alive and he gives her the most attention. Will this moving in and moving out effect them? Should I just stay here and act like life is grand? (Like I have been for several years.)
I feel like a human yo-yo. Claim down this fight, claim down that fight between the two girls, get him off of my back because he "needs some", make sure the youngest one is ok because her own father wont do anything with her, keep my anger in check other wise he will claim I am not taking my pills.

What to do??

[reg12]

Hi MM. Sometimes our past does control what we do. You may want to look there. It may control who we are and how we act. It also can affect your selection process and who you marry.

It appears that both of you have your issues, so I would have to go along with the family theraphist on the classes at least. Sounds like both of you need it. You adults need to get something settled because of the kids involved. Yes unfortunately the children can be affected by everything that you two do. You mentioned fighting between the girls. You two are not giving them good examples.

More drugs is not always the correct answer. Sometimes we have to look at what causes us to react the way we do. Just taking something so that your "mood" will be better may only be masking the real issues. Also if you get your mood to where you can tolerate all of this, will you be able to feel those kids and properly take care of them? It is important that the children feel your love. They need it like the air they breathe. Can they do that if you are trying not to feel? I am not saying you do care or do not love them. Just trying to help you think about their needs.

If you are not sure why or for who you are taking the pills, then you might want to think very strong about talking to a professional about that. Just wanting more meds is a cry for help. I really do feel your confusion over this situation. I know you are hurting real bad right now. I think you should try as soon as you can and see what services are available to you that will be the best for you and your children. My thoughts are with you.

[starlitnights]

From what I've read its usually things occurring in childhood (abuse/neglect ect) but both environmental and genetic play a role in it - Therefor i wouldn't say its not possible but you'd really need to talk to a professional to know for sure.

From what I read though it sounds that your coping with all to many problems and can't handle it (noones perfect), like stated before i think couples/family therapy would help allot at this point, or even if you cant get him to go go yourself to help figure out what you want to do (stay/ go ect)

[MysticalMoon]

Originally Posted by starlitnights

From what I've read its usually things occurring in childhood (abuse/neglect ect) but both environmental and genetic play a role in it - Therefor i wouldn't say its not possible but you'd really need to talk to a professional to know for sure.

From what I read though it sounds that your coping with all to many problems and can't handle it (noones perfect), like stated before i think couples/family therapy would help allot at this point, or even if you cant get him to go go yourself to help figure out what you want to do (stay/ go ect)

Thanks for the reply,
After talking to two differnet counselors, I am in an emotional abusive relationship and he is trigging my "craziness". Now I have to stand up to him and move out before I really lose it.
Thank god for counselors..lol.

Thanks!