[Lisa Michelle]

I had an eating disorder assessment today. I mentioned to her that I have concerns I could have BPD, and she said to me that after talking to me for an hour she didn't think I did (they will look further into this on the next visit or next few visits). She said that, typically, a person with BPD will be in denial so if you suggest to them that they're borderline they'll tell you they're not.

I just want to know how you can "tell" a person is borderline by chatting to them? Would any of you say or think that it's obvious that you have borderline disorder? What is the typical personality like?

I was "normal" in the assessment. I answered her questions. I cried a few times. I don't see how she would either agree or disagree I have BPD. But maybe it's obvious when you talk to people with it???? What do you think?

I'm very concerned and possibly obsessed that I MUST get the right diagnosis, whether that's borderline or not. I won't let them just pass over it without proper examiniation. I've read several websites and one book on borderline and I just feel it explains me so much. I'm terrified I'm wrong because then I feel that it's just ME, that it's not a disorder, that I choose and want to be this way.

I've been diagnosed with anorexia. But I really don't feel it's "enough" to explain all of my issues.

Any advice or info is really appreciated, I'm only new to finding out about borderline and it's still entirely possible I don't have it... but I think it's important to really know myself what borderline is before I let someone tell me I don't have it.

Thanks,
Lisa x

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Lisa Michelle

I had an eating disorder assessment today. I mentioned to her that I have concerns I could have BPD, and she said to me that after talking to me for an hour she didn't think I did (they will look further into this on the next visit or next few visits). She said that, typically, a person with BPD will be in denial so if you suggest to them that they're borderline they'll tell you they're not.

I just want to know how you can "tell" a person is borderline by chatting to them? Would any of you say or think that it's obvious that you have borderline disorder? What is the typical personality like?

I was "normal" in the assessment. I answered her questions. I cried a few times. I don't see how she would either agree or disagree I have BPD. But maybe it's obvious when you talk to people with it???? What do you think?

I'm very concerned and possibly obsessed that I MUST get the right diagnosis, whether that's borderline or not. I won't let them just pass over it without proper examiniation. I've read several websites and one book on borderline and I just feel it explains me so much. I'm terrified I'm wrong because then I feel that it's just ME, that it's not a disorder, that I choose and want to be this way.

I've been diagnosed with anorexia. But I really don't feel it's "enough" to explain all of my issues.

Any advice or info is really appreciated, I'm only new to finding out about borderline and it's still entirely possible I don't have it... but I think it's important to really know myself what borderline is before I let someone tell me I don't have it.

Thanks,
Lisa x

Hi Lisa,

Ahhhhh the dx process........stressful.......I hear what you are saying.....

For me, I was in denial for years even with the dx and getting therapy......so I don't know if you can tell straight away if someone has BPD. For me, I had weeks of therapy, my first hospital admission, personality testing, PTSD testing and so on.......all up the dxs took 13 weeks of intensive observation......

Anorexia, or eating disorders are a component of Borderline, but everyone is different in severity, so if you feel that anorexia is not the only issue you are dealing with, push it until you get a researched educated answer from your treatment team. I had both a psychologist and psychiatrist in the dx process......

I hope I have helped.......ask all the questions you need to of your therapists......you are in charge of your treatment.......it may or may not be BPD you are dealing with, but if you have doubts, trust that instinct and follow it.......

We are here to support and feel free to ask me more questions......I was dx BPD/schizoeffective/PTSD 15 years ago.......

Take good care, Lisa and speak real soon,

Michah

[Lisa Michelle]

Michah, thank you so much! I've been feeling so silly for "pushing" this issue. I keep being told I'm fine. I mean, nobody even thought I was anorexic. I told my friend tonight and he was like "what?" but he already knew (I'd only called it an ED, though), it's real strange. He plays what I have down SO much that I sometimes think he's right. And other people, too. So then I begin to question myself and just think I'm not ill, I'm just a crap person or whatever.

You've (at least temporarily) given me the confidence to keep pushing this. I DO feel as though there's a problem and you're right, I'm in charge of my own treatment, if I'm not going to put myself first then who is? I deserve the best treatment and that involves getting a correct diagnosis.

You've also reassured me that a diagnosis can't be done within an hour! So her comment, although it might true in the end, it's impossible for her to know yet. So I will keep on with this and find out the truth, even if it's that I don't have it.

Again thankyou, I feel very reassured. I began feeling a bit like maybe I WANTED to find something wrong with me and was picking the one I "liked best" (my mum suggested that) but really I'm just looking out for myself, making sure I get the best chance possible at recovery. But before I recover I need to know what I'm recovering from, you know?

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Lisa Michelle

Michah, thank you so much! I've been feeling so silly for "pushing" this issue. I keep being told I'm fine. I mean, nobody even thought I was anorexic. I told my friend tonight and he was like "what?" but he already knew (I'd only called it an ED, though), it's real strange. He plays what I have down SO much that I sometimes think he's right. And other people, too. So then I begin to question myself and just think I'm not ill, I'm just a crap person or whatever.People always play down what they don't understand or if it frightens them. I know I have played down my own illness at times......at great cost to me. Do not question what you experince. Just because you do not have a formal dx yet, does not mean that it does not exist for you, babe......what you feel is real.......and without sounding cynical, it matters little whether others believe you. We would like to think that if people love us that it is given that they will unedrstand, and short of that, at least support us unconditionally. They can do that to a degree, but it is my experience that my journey is my own. It was very isolating at first, but then I worked out that I would rather be alone than have people in the process that did not honour it. There are still people that do not honour my process, but they are family......not so easy to walk away from.....but I do practice a little distance and acceptance and forgiveness.......you are on a terrifying and exhilarating journey of the spirit......and no-one can question that....

You've (at least temporarily) given me the confidence to keep pushing this. I DO feel as though there's a problem and you're right, I'm in charge of my own treatment, if I'm not going to put myself first then who is? I deserve the best treatment and that involves getting a correct diagnosis.Absolutely! Whenever you doubt, talk about it.......we are here. You show great insight, you are following your instincts and you are logical.......therapists love logic, especially psychiatrists

You've also reassured me that a diagnosis can't be done within an hour! So her comment, although it might true in the end, it's impossible for her to know yet. So I will keep on with this and find out the truth, even if it's that I don't have it. That is good! Keep going.......

Again thankyou, I feel very reassured. I began feeling a bit like maybe I WANTED to find something wrong with me and was picking the one I "liked best" (my mum suggested that) but really I'm just looking out for myself, making sure I get the best chance possible at recovery. But before I recover I need to know what I'm recovering from, you know?

Oh yes......I see what you mean. If you had a terminal illness, you would want the right treatment to save your life. the incorrect dx will not have as much therapeutic benefit. This is no different.......you need the right treatment to feel better......trust yourself on that. As for others, your mum probably means well, but like I said if you feel it, it exists for one reason or another.

Take good care, sweet......you are on the right path......keep pushing....... and healing.

In stillness,

Michah

[Lisa Michelle]

Originally Posted by Michah

Oh yes......I see what you mean. If you had a terminal illness, you would want the right treatment to save your life. the incorrect dx will not have as much therapeutic benefit. This is no different.......you need the right treatment to feel better......trust yourself on that. As for others, your mum probably means well, but like I said if you feel it, it exists for one reason or another.

Take good care, sweet......you are on the right path......keep pushing....... and healing.

In stillness,

Michah

Ah, thank you so much! You are incredibly kind.

I just noticed you're in Australia? Arghh - jealous! :P

[MysticalMoon]

Hello Lisa,
I had the same thing happen to me too. They told me that "your in an emotional abusive relationship and the abuser will make you believe that your are nuts". I had never taken any kinds of meds till I married him, now that I am still married to him, I am taking up 5 different mood pills becasue of the "crap" I take from him.

Are in you a bad spot and this is trigger your anger? Just my two cents.