[countrygal77]

I woke up this morning to my son and his father screaming at each other. My son was screaming that he hates him for playing favorites with the others and my husband was screaming that he better shut his smart mouth. My husband had our daughter fixing his lunch for work because she put supper up last night and knew where everything was and our son was in the kitchen in the way. I admit, our son has a smart *** mouth. He's 12 and doesn't know when to shut his lips. There have been times when I've wanted to slap his face clear off of his body, but we don't believe in slapping,,,, spanking yes, slapping no. So anyways, I don't know what to do about his smart mouth. We've went so far as to sell his xbox on craigslist cause he lost it so many times we wanted to make a point. That didn't work. After the pain on the butt cheeks goes away, it's like he's forgotten he even got a spanking, and he has been grounded to his room for up to 2 weeks before. Not getting to come out except to pee or eat. Nothing fazes this boy. I knew teenage years were going to be hard, he's not even 13 yet and won't be until march. We've only gotten started and we don't know where to go.... any advice would be great. but please do not tell me to beat my child. I was beaten, etc as a child and would never do that. I only need supportive advice. Thanks.

[mlpHolmes]

Hi Countrygal!

You *know* what does not work. So might as well stop that esp. the screaming & yelling. It just does not help or develop a positive or loving relationship w/ your son. True? Which I'm assuming you would like to create & develop. 12 yrs old. is a pivotal point it's the beginning of the teen years. He is going through a v. difficult time. He is still a child but his body is changing into an adult.

Have you tried 'Catch Him Being Good?' Yes. When he does something right or well, let him know that! For example his chores done well, not being told to do..., helps family out, being thoughtful, etc. Be sincere, genuine, & authentic, very important, & not to be over done.
May give you the opportunity to sit down and have a heart to heart talk (w/out raising voices). Talking & reasoning w/ your son may help you out, Best Wishes!

Season's Blessings,
Holmes

[Princess Butterfly]

Sounds like it is very tough in your home.
With my Son i really praise the good things no matter how little they be."Thankyou for doing that for me" even if its a simple he put his cup in the kitchen.
I dont completely ignore the bad behaviour i explain to him what he has done wrong and that its upset me.Then i leave it.I dont shout,i discuss.Its hard though if there shouting.
I make sure the positive behaviour gets all the attention and the negative gets none.