[QUEEN OF WANDS]

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http...01.htm&h=505f0 i thought i would look on facebook and see what they have about borderline personality..i would never join a page on facebook for i would never want everyone to know my business,,i was just curious ,, anyway i read this and i am in shock !! yeah its like me but it sounds so horrible and coniving...i never realized this ,, its like a black widow spider or something,,,it feels i have every reason to feel what im feeling when im feeling it and i never knew i was so selfish !!! how can someone who has so much love for others and is always trying to please actually treat another in that way ,, so after reading this any man would be smart to stay away from me ,,, wow,,i will end up a lonely resentful old lady,,, i feel horrible ,, wow................idk,,they say there is hope but it takes a long time...............

[Rapunzel]

That is only one perspective on BPD. It's not a very kind one towards people suffering from the disorder. They tend to overlook that we don't set out to use people and spread misery and distress. We are the way that we are for reasons that make sense, and we can overcome those patterns. BPD does make relationships difficult, and if you are going through relationships and ending them prematurely or noticing patterns that hurt you or someone else, it might be wise to try to give romantic relationships a break for a while and work on your patterns while building other kinds of supportive relationships - then go back to it when you are ready. Yes, it takes time, and that isn't easy to hear. It's worth it though.

[QUEEN OF WANDS]

thank you Rapunzel ,, it is very harsh too look at us in that view .. i was in an 18 yr relationship with my husband(began age 14) .. we separated 4 1/2 yrs. ago ,, within 6 weeks i met by current boyfriend (lots of dangerous behaviour and seeking affection) .. i do see a pattern and my relationship right now is VERY rocky .. if i can begin to get help , it will either give me the strength to end it or commit to it and accept him .. if i end it permanently i do not want another relationship until i can be a good girlfriend ,, i explained that to a psychiatrist ,, i told him i fear acting out and looking for affection if i leave .. i just dont want to think i would be alone forever .. and i need to know if my relationship is worth working on .. i has been an extremely hard 4 1/2 years and it is a very complex relationship .. i am scared out of my wits and am confused .. i think i may be overwhelming myself with info ..