You know you're borderline when...

you wake up refreshed and full of energy, shower, spend an hour doing you hair and make up. Singing along with all the awsome songs on the radio. Decide your going out into the world and go shoping. Sit down and enjoy a cup of hot coffee and check your email. Umm nothing, check facebook, ummm nothing.....no one likes me, nobody cares about me, I just dont exsist. Back to bed feeling all depressed, crying cuz your so alone and ugly. oh, it didnt matter that you answered all your emails and facebook comments at 11pm last night before going to bed.

you go to the hair parlor to get your hair done, only to go completely off the deep end and get it chopped and wildly colored. Then you cry the whole way home just knowing your family is going to have you committed for being so drastic... then you think to yourself "I wonder what I can do to top this?"

You spend the entire day stewing about some idiot from the internet who says stupid things, you can't concentrate on your work because of the dumb things they said, and they're not even talking to you...like it has to mess up YOUR day because THAT person is a dork.

You made another new user id so no one can look up your past issues, and you finally look up borderline personality disorder because the insanity score keeps saying you have it, and you realize that's me! and now I want to email and text all my family to let them know so they can read up on it also and understand me and be there for everytime I need it because otherwise they're gonna make me worse! You guys make me laugh btw, I can't believe I didn't realize I had this before. I feel better after reading these posts I'm not a mental drama queen I have a disorder lol!! Deal with it family booyah just kidding : )

You see a TV show about being a detective, and then you decide you can do that. Without even going to college, and then a friend tells you it's a bad idea and you decide you hate them! You'll never tell them your ideas again, but then you play an indie computer game and decide that you'll do that instead then you download a game engine and can't figure it out and cry because you can't do anything. Then you find out that same friend is a writer and decide to call them up and chat about how you want to be a writer.

You know you're borderline because you post a cute thing your cat did on four different web sites, don't get so much as a LOL on any of them, so you conclude that it must not have been funny and you're a dweeb for posting it.

You're puppy wants to sleep instead of spend time with you, so you decide it hates you and so does everyone else.

You're playing a bowling game online, can't seem to bowl a strike, so you decide that the animated bowling pins hate you.

LMAO I can totally relate to the changing career modes over and over and over again. LOL

you reread all of your posts in there entirety every time you return to a site on which you previously posted, even if it was less than 5 hours since you were last there, methodically checking in ascending forum order until you reach the bottom of the page before concluding that your wasting your time checking for replies but still do it every time you return anyway.

You're going through a really difficult time and the only person still there for you is T. And he goes out of his way to be supportive and lets you email him as much as you like between sessions, and responds to every single one. Then you send him an email which he responds to saying that he doesnt have enough time to respond fully but wanted to let you know thayt he is here for you and will give a proper response tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and the response doesnt. So you send him an email telling him how much you hate him, that you cant trust him at all, that he never cared and that he is just like everyone else and lets you down. Then you get an email from him today saying that he had a family emergency and he had to drop everything, and is responding to you now (in the middle of the emergency). He then reads your horrible email and replies to that saying how sorry he is for making you feel so abandoned and awful and that he hopes the realtionship is still ok.

I am officially an ****hole to my T and do not deserve him. Have just spent the last hour crying over this.

You know you're a borderline when your therapist needs therapy just to cope with you.

...when you cry for an hour because the laundry isn't folded. Then you fold it and go watch tv.

...when you know your husband hates you because he forgot to pick up the milk, and you need a divorce because it's never been working out. Then he shows you that you didn't put milk on the list, which doesn't matter- HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ANYWAY!

...and then he goes and gets milk, and you don't care, because you remember you didn't need it and that's why it wasn't on the list.

...You can't remember why you were yelling at your best friend yesterday, but if she doesn't get over it soon, you're going to stop talking to her because you don't need her drama.

...besides, she's only out to steal your guy.

...even though she's gay, married, AND in the wrong age bracket.

... you know you're borderline when you get into a fight with your therapist just so you know she still likes you.

...when your therapist tells you that you're doing better this month, and you fly into a rage because she's judging your past behaviour.

...when you can't remember why you hate your coworker, so they must be your new best friend.

...You are lying on the floor crying for half an hour and then the phone rings. "Oh, no, I'm fine, want to go see a movie?" and you walk off, perfectly fine.

...your husband watches all this, and doesn't say anything, because he's the one who texted your friend to call, knowing it would snap you out of it.

... and you hate him for it when you find out, because he never loved you anyways.

...except he's the one person who ever understood you and your soul mate and everything you ever wanted, you knew that within three days of meeting him.

you know you're borderline when

*when you've thought about breaking up with someone at least 12 times after only knowing them for a month

* can't keep a steady roommate

*are delighted to meet and make new friends who love alcohol just as much as you

*think you can maintain a habit of casual sex with others

*get pissed off when the person you are sleeping with (and know would never want to date) doesn't want to date you anyway

*superficially chat up old school mates and friends that you really dont care for when you are bored and lonely

*feel ugly and unworthy even though you are clearly not but somehow need that assurance from other people

*think that sex and sexual advances are the only way of assuring you are appealing

When you get all depressed because you forgot to add the water to instant noodles and ruin them and you start crying and thinking you are useless and can't do anything by yourself.

Bump for a great thread

Love this! (Hope that's okay!) I wish I had such great personal insight!

... When you're new to the website, and want to start off on the right foot, so you immidiatley want to make a post... but then you feel as if you don't really belong or 'fit in' , or the post wont be good enough so you decide not to make a post... only to post about not wanting to make a post.

Welcome, BPD4Life. That was funny. Good start.

not sure if this belongs here - bit of history my husband always puts gas in the car for me. He went away this weekend and forgot to fill my car......so I had to go get gas befor work, I cried becuase he was just trying to make my life hell. then cried again cuz I couldnt get the gas cap off the car (if Id ever put gas in it I would know how to) thinking Im so stupid I cant even put gas in my car, cried all the way to work about how I dont even deserve my job because I so stupid........ :-)

...when you're self diagnosed and people try to refute you, you immediately go into defense mode, start yelling (if in person), and immediately despise the person you're talking to because they just don't understand you.

You know you're borderline when a website has technical difficulties, freezes when you try to post a comment, and so you conclude they just don't want to hear what you have to say.

I just spent the last almost 2 hours reading this entire thread. Some of it made me laugh, most of it made me wonder how you knew me.

I have been trying to deny the fact that I have BPD for a long time. This thread has opened my eyes. It is something I need to work on.

You know your borderline when you don't understand a word so all the sudden your completely to stupid and incompetent and how can you possibly hold a job.

you know you are borderline when you quit T and your T says see ya next week

You guys have awesome Ts. Wish I could find one.

You know your borderline when something small irritates you at work and you start to think how stupid you are, and that your going to get fired. And all you want is to go home and get reasurrance from your boyfriend. Only to get home and pick a fight about something. And the whole time your think "why aren't you holding me.Why aren't you on my side? OK I must be really awful." Only to later find out that he was trying to calm you down and reassure you, but you didn't hear any of it b/c you were raging.

When you hung out with a guy friend and end up thinking he likes you and that you should like him back, but in the back of your mind you know you'd never date the guy. (He doesn't, just mutual friends)

Then spend two days crying, and 'breaking up' with your boyfriend only to find yourself even more miserable and thinking it warrants crazy/dumb behavior.

Only to realize that you're scared he'll eventually cheat on you so you have to do it first.

Luckily...I know he is loyal.

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On another note, I am really glad I read some of the pages of this topic. I've felt and done things similar to this and thought I was alone. No dx but I relate.