[cluelessgluten]

Every now and then I get these episodes where I am restless and can't sit still. I feel as though there some place I need to be but I have now where to go. I can't concentrate on anything I am easy aggravated or maybe impatient. If I'm driving everyone is in my way. If someone tells me to do something at work I don't want to do I become argumentative. I'm a real pain in the *****. Can last all day to a few days some times just a few hours. Any body know what I'm talking about? Is this anxiety. Meditation doesn't work because my mind wont stay quit long enough to calm down I try to but I end up thinking about all kinds of crazy stuff. Today walking to work I felt like I could take off and fly. I just had this urge to rise up into the air and sour over the trees

[bpd2]

Believe it or not...this is probably abandonment depression.
You've just suffered separation, and you're back in a situation requiring self-assertion and autonomy (work).
So, we borderlines feel frantic to escape the depression...or we're depressed.

Does this make sense to you?

[cluelessgluten]

I guess so. I wasn't feeling depression but know I am. Getting really irrited and feel like hitting my self and I just want to eat something I'm not hungry but I feel like I need to eat. I hate this and wish it would end.

[bpd2]

Sounds like some seriously aerobic exercise would help, and what kind of equipment is around for you to use? Something with some resistance would be good to throw in there, too!


Also, the night before, or early in the morning, plan what you're going to eat the next day. It'll help keep you from eating when, really, that's not what you want to do.
(I know these things because, of course, I am you!....Just in an alternate universe where you are a girl and we're both rich.)

[cluelessgluten]

I definitely need to get off my but and run and get back in the gym for strength training because I ain't gettin any younger and seems to get harder every year. As for eating I do OK but when I am gaining weight and need to cut back a hard thing to do lately since I have been depressed a lot lately. Even planning a meal doest help when I don't stick with the plan. What makes this so bad is I know what I need to do but Sometimes it is hard for me to get it done. When I get depressed I get where I don't care. I have thoughts of suicide by food. Very self destructive. I think Irish eat bad enough I'll stop my heart. The weird thing is I don't want to die. I just get these crazy thoughts. What will I do with myself

[bpd2]

I get off my "plan" for the day, too...but I do better than if I'd never made the plan at all.
As for exercise....there's a doctor in this state who started a website for bipolar depression. (I'm bp, too.) One of the suggestions I've clung to is tracking even 10 minutes a day of exercise--and counting it as exercise. Sometimes that's pulled me away from the beginning of depression, sometimes it's been the one thing I was able to do that day. Sometimes it's this long chart that I can be proud of....I hate it when I fall away from it, though, and look back at a past success and wonder why, why, why couldn't I maintain it.........That's when therapy returns to discussions of the Neverlasting and to methods of self-soothing--and of relying heavily on my support system, which often includes only him, because I am too ashamed to ask anyone else and am trying to hide how it is for me.
Now, it turns out, PC has become part of that support crew!

[Skully]

I get the same way clueless but it is usually my adderall not working for my ADHD. But sometimes it is anxiety because when I take a valium it stops.

[cluelessgluten]

BPD2 I know what you mean. This is kind of therapy for me. Just righting down my feelings here helps me explore what I am feeling. I tend to be more analytical when I try to describe how I feel than when I just sit and mope around. And I get insight from other members on there on experiences and things that have helped them in the past. BPD2 you especially have been a tremendous help. Or wait I'm BPD2 so I guess I did all myself.
Skully idk it could be my ADHD. I do have those moments too. I just hate when I go from happy go lucky to depresses and suicidal and back to hyper all in one afternoon. What a freakin roller coaster.

[bpd2]

Wow....I just cannot get over the echo in this room!!!! Cool!!!!