[missmoodyblues86]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and have some questions regarding my behaviors and if they have anything to do with BPD. I ask, because I am currently in a relationship with a man who was diagnosed Bipolar II 5 months ago and it is getting hard to deal with the relationship and life itself.

First off, I am NOT diagnosed, but have tried to go to many psych docs, but they only give me benzos for my anxiety issues.

I am a quiet person by nature, you can call me shy, but I do tend to latch onto people who I feel 100% comfortable with and thats only like three people tops. I met my current boyfriend 7 months ago and we fell in love at first site and moved in with him literally the next day we had just met. At that time he wasn't diagnosed Bipolar II yet, so thought things were perfect. Once he was diagnosed, he changed and so many police incidents regarding his Bipolar disorder, not any to do with violence with me of course. Now I'm the type of person who is very dependent to men and feel I NEED them to survive. My family and relatives all tell me I should take care of myself and have us separate to focus on our own problems, but I cannot do that. That freaks me out. I also freak out if I am not with him most of the time or knowing where he is all the time, for fears that something horrific may have happened to him. I feel so clingy but I can't help it.

Another problem, my boyfriend has come to realize with me is that I try to sabotage our relationship by making catty remarks or "acting out", most of this I don't even feel I'm doing that on purpose which hurts. He tells me I'm passive-aggressive all the time, which I don't consciously don't feel like I'm doing anyways.

I want this to work, but since he has Bipolar II and barely takes meds, I feel so tense and scared because I feel I will go crazy if this relationship fails big time.

---end of my rant

any suggestions on how to deal and be a better person to myself and my boyfriend?

Thanks

[bpd2]

Hi mmb86
First...someone's being bipolar 2 isn't always a cause of personality change and police involvement. IMO, there's something else going on for him--has he mentioned a comorbid condition?
Second, take a look at the DSM IVr (it's online) for a good picture of what a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder looks like--and take a look at the stickies at the top of this subforum. It is emotional instability in you that should probably be of concern to you, whether as a marker of the condition or of a problem that interferes with the life you want to live. Clinginess can be the result of many disorders, some of which are neuroses, not illness. You might try going to a psychologist for an evaluation, rather than to a psychiatrist: the psychiatrist often reduce their jogs to writing prescriptions--depending upon how they want to use their time.
3. If you're not living the life you want to live, get professional help if your own efforts are not being successful.
Best of luck!

[missmoodyblues86]

Thanks for the reply. I'm currently trying to seek help, because the constant fighting has be feeling like I'm trying to sabotage our relationship, in which I fear the most. Sometimes, I just feel like running away from most of my problems and start over in a sense, but I do need to try to help my man. My clinginess also has to do with the fact that I fear dying alone or not being able to find anybody new for that matter.

But anyways, I had gone to my primary doc but all they prescribe me is Paxil for my social anxiety, I hate that. But without any insurance soon, I feel I'm outta luck with finding any therapist who can take me for a small reasonable fee.

[bpd2]

Originally Posted by missmoodyblues86

But anyways, I had gone to my primary doc but all they prescribe me is Paxil for my social anxiety, I hate that. But without any insurance soon, I feel I'm outta luck with finding any therapist who can take me for a small reasonable fee.

Can you try a public health service? They have sliding fee scales.

[smileytown]

Originally Posted by bpd2

Can you try a public health service? They have sliding fee scales.

I dont pay for my dr or meds. It can be done, just took some work and a long time to get in.

[missmoodyblues86]

Originally Posted by bpd2

Can you try a public health service? They have sliding fee scales.

I've finally was able to connect with a school councilor who is willing to help me find the resources that could be available my way. I'm a bit relieved to get some stuff off my chest, but still taking it one step at a time with things.

Thanks

[bpd2]

Originally Posted by missmoodyblues86

I've finally was able to connect with a school councilor who is willing to help me find the resources that could be available my way. I'm a bit relieved to get some stuff off my chest, but still taking it one step at a time with things.

Thanks

Thanks for the update!! Keep them coming!

[kitty004567]

I'm glad you've found someone to help you navigate. I see a pdoc once a month and a T once a week and don't pay a thing. (I have insurance) but the T's office works on a sliding scale. I used that with my ex bf so we could go to couples counseling since my insurance wouldn't cover it.