Almost There

Things have gotten a little better. At least I don't feel like jumping in front of a train anymore. Now I'm in the "clingy" stage. I just want to hold on to someone that I know cares about me and loves me. I want to be safe in their arms and just breathe. I know that sounds childish, but I can't help it. It's how I feel. But I don't have that opportunity. I don't have someone I can do that with. So I self soothe. Rocking myself, zoning out, doing childish (but creative) things like color or cartoons. The inner child seriously needs an outer adult figure to run to. What do you do with that? How do you find that person?

(((girlofoz))) I don't know how to answer some of those questions. But I've felt the same way. I have a tendency to get really clingy a couple times a month or so, with my bf. I normally can tell its coming on and let him know - that I'm struggling and will probably be clingy. He does his best to be there for me, but can't hold me all day. I try to distract myself by playing games, talking with people online, just reaching out. As for the inner child needing an outer adult, I haven't figured that one out. I try not to rely on my bf too much for that. B/c he's my bf not an adult to take care of me.

Hope some of that helps. Know your not alone.

Thank you. So what do you do when you're not in a relationship? And have nobody? My best friend bought me a stuffed dog (which I named penelope, laugh, I don't care) and I usually have it with me when I get to this point. Holding it, hugging it, crying into it, whatever, it's not far from me. But nothing beats human contact. And touch. *sighs*

I will not laugh as I have had stuffed animals as well! They are great. You're right human contact is better. You mention you have a best friend, what about talking to him/her. Asking them for a hug. Do you have a pet? I know having a dog has helped me a great deal. Hang in there. I know I can't give you a real hug. But I'll give you many cyber hugs.

If you ever need to talk please feel free to PM me.

I can ask her, but sometimes I feel kind of awkward asking for it. I feel like I'm being clingy and don't want to bother her. I'm also her roommate and she doesn't allow pets, so no dog for me no matter HOW badly I want one.

It can be awkward asking for hugs, however I think people understand. It's human nature to be held and feel comforted. Have you explained to your roommate that having a dog/cat would really help you with your loneliness? It took me 4 months or so to convince my bf that we should get a dog. I love the dog, but Turbo (dog) has chosen my bf as his owner. That is sometimes hard on me, but Turbo still hangs out with me and can be a real help.

Hang in there and keep posting. More hugs for you

I was also going to suggest a dog. My dog sleeps with me, watches TV with me, cuddles with me & is always ready to snuggle. It is a great compfort to be in bed and feel another body breathing next to you. Is another human preferable? For most folks, I guess, but not for me. I'll stick to the canine cuddler. They are always agreeable & welcoming.

I used to live in a building that did not allow dogs, but I got a prescription from my doctor to have one. See if that would be an option for you.

If there is absolutely no way you can get a dog, then try getting another furry creature. There is a HUGE gap in intelligence, loyalty and companionship, but you might consider getting a guinea pig. They can be kept easily in an aquarium, are relatively easy to maintain and are very docile. They will not intetionally bite a human.

There are different varieties available, so you can research which type might suit you best. They are terrific little animals to just sit & pet. There is something very comforting about that. You might not think so, but each guinea pig does have its own personality. Anyway, it's a thought.

Hope things get better.

Sometimes in a 12 step program such a s EA there are hugs on the regular.