My so-c called friends

Had a "friend" ask me to watch her dogs last weekend, so I did. Once again (this has happened many times) she and my sister and some other people are going out tomorrowand I was left out. When am I ever going to learn not to think people are my friends. I'll never have a real friend. All of this comes after a horrible therapy session and really bad cutting urges all week

I've been there too and it's not fun.
Sorry I don't have any comforting words for you.

Ouch.

I know what it feels like to be left out, esp. without them explaining why.

That sounds so unfair for them to want you to help them and then they act like you don't matter...

You hang in there.

Don't hurt yourself.

Talk to us and stay safe.

We love you.

Billi

I have managed not to cut today, of course I have also been in bed most of the day

dog sitting can cause madness do not ever do it again.

be hopeful you will make new friends, good ones. the time will come, dear.

but you can be alone and still do things - just get out~ do what is good for your body (yoga, live music, museums, volunteering)

I'm sorry this has happened to you nicoleb2 I have had similar things happen to me too. Who was the messenger that informed you that your sister and friends were going out?

I would feel the same way you do, and it would cause huge emotions in me. Spending time in bed is good. I do that and it's okay to do this. You are finding ways to comfort and self soothe yourself Good job !!

Perhaps stepping back from these people for awhile until the hurt as been reduced, to reduce your exposure to further hurt to protect yourself. You have been violated in a way and you are raw and during this time, it's better to insulate yourself until you have healed. Oh and don't forget the most important thing.............. do something nice for yourself. While they go out and do their thing, why not you go out and do something like, get a sinfully large ice cream float or whatever you really really like to indulge yourself with.

Next time you are expected to do something for them, you have two options. You can do it but don't expect anything in return, because this sets you up for more injury and hurt, or you can say the word "no". Don't give a reason why, silence is golden, let them figure it out for themselves.

Let them go out, just let them go and do their thing. You can't change them, you are powerless over this. You can't make them feel bad or guilty, even though you want them to, but you do have power over how you react and how you deal with this. This is where your power is, so go and empower yourself and be a bigger person than those that are small and on a mission to self-nurture yourself. I bet you will feel much better about the whole issue once you have taken good care of you !!!

the "messenger" was their postings on facebook. They suck. I really want to cut today

What would be opposite to cutting?

Wait a minute; it sounds like they were setting up going out, etc. and I don't see why you didn't post and say you wanted to go too? Going out and doing things with others/a group is usually very informal and just sort of "happens" and expecting to automatically have people invite one is not good communications.

I notice one of the people is your sister; are these friends the same age as you, older/younger? If you want to be with certain people, you have to let them know, you have to include yourself; that's your "job". No one else, not friends, relatives, therapists, parents, etc. can look out for you and your life as well as you can/should.

Next time, post on your friend's page something like, "Hey, me too! You owe me a drink/meal/ice cream (whatever sort of place they're going to) for the dog-sitting!" Or, plan something yourself and invite them this weekend?

Oh how terrible! If you want to be in bed that's totally ok! I would be in bed watching marathon episodes of Who's the Boss. Maybe with a bottle of wine for company. But don't cut, ok? And stay off face book please. Yuck.

Good point, Perna, excellent post

They were just checking with each other to see what time. I have said "me too" several times. I don't want to have to beg to go with to something. I'm not that pathetic

Facebook has been the bane of my life where friends and family are concerned. I put a post on when I'm hurting emotionally. It's like a little release to let my emotion out and some little jumped up fool will comment that I'm attention seeking or airing my dirty laundry or whatever. I don't get it if they don't wanna read why don't they delete me. Anyway disabled my wall now so I can't spark outbursts with friends and family. So called friends and family hmm. Sorry I digress.

I'm sorry your friend seems to have used you. This happens to me all the time. I'm gonna become a hermit and not answer my door or my phone to anyone anymore cos its always someone who wants something lol. Gosh what a negative attitude I have today. Eeek

nicoleb2...I have always had trouble saying "no" but am learning in therapy it's ok to set boundaries..
I agree with whoever said don't mind the dogs..a simple 'no' and walk away.
I would be annoyed if they did that to me too *hugs*

try to look on brightside of things, if you where the designated diver you wouldnt be able to drink, next time if it happens again, confront the person about it and then tell them no.

So, how are things now? How are you feeling?