[protector1973]

and you start realizing all these difficult emotions and how they just bubble up like a volcano, then you start to feel these emotions stronger like never before,because you have read all about this stuff in the forum today i was going to smashup all my technology in my flat, smash my new computer and tv and mobile phone with a hammer. then i could feel just total isolation, and experience a new depth to this illness. but i could be feeling *********************at breaking point. forum makes you wanna feel things deeper, to try and move on , or get worse.

[Flooded]

I read the forum only when I'm in a good headspace or it can and has triggered me into a raging heap.

[Cnytroxy1973]

The more isolated I am the better I feel...The forums haven't triggered anything...yet.

[Forgive77]

Protector...what I find is that I actually feel emotions now..instead of just anger and happiness. I feel this whole gamut...feelings suck, and sometimes it's easier for me to turn it into instant anger. But now I know I just have to feel the feeling. Isolating can be good. Like when all of my triplets are screaming...like today...I lock myself in my room for 5 minutes so I don't flip out. I'm glad you didn't bust up all your new stuff. Sigh...I know the feeling. I was only triggered once by something on the BP site, but I'm friends with that person now, and they probably never knew. I think everyone here is well meaning. I know I am...so I figure they must be. Hope Hope.

[Lil Ant Lady]

when i first came here i was in a very bad way so it was very hard for me to accept i had bpd. it felt like i had been given a life sentence. which in a way i suppose it is a life illness but one which you can learn to deal with. i wouldnt like to say its "not as if its like the doc has told you you have got cancer and you only have 6 months to live" because ive felt the ferocity of this illness already and i nearly did kill myself so in a way the by product of the symptoms it gives can in some cases result in death,,, being suicide. sorry to be frank.

when i first was diagnosed with bpd a couple of friends said "well thats good you can join some support groups online and chat to others in the same boat"

which is all very well,,, but we all have varying degrees of this illness. for some our positivity and upbeat attitudes might help and encourage and guide us along in this. but it can also be triggering. and therefore pull us down when we are already depressed. so there are swings and roundabouts. i think we should all be mindful when we log on of the potential pitfalls that lie there given our susceptible natures. i know i can be brought down in an instant. well thats me anyway. so some days when im feeling particularly down you wont hear from me at all. but then you may do cos i will feel i need someone to hear me and lend some words of support.

but mostly i hope to be here to share a few stories about recovery. because i feel ive had my time in crisis now and the only way is up for me. and i want to still come in and stick around for others and share my coping techniques in the hope that it helps others.

im sorry for the long post - im obviously in a good mood today lol