[emptybee15]

When a guy is nice to me, I automatically feel like I want to just jump his bones, IF he's attractive to me. Like, if they pay me a compliment, or just ask me how I'm doing that day or anything, I just want to crawl all over them.

I've never had any normal, functioning relationship with any man, from my father on down the line (I did with my brother and grandfather, but of course they both died years ago). I also never had a close, loving relationship with any other family or friends. Sex, is the only closeness I really experience with anyone.

Like yesterday, one of the financial agents at my job is a lesbian. She's older than me (I tend to get along better with people older than me, my peers annoy me)...I was trying to find something to hold the door open and I said forget it, I'll just put in the code to get back in. When I came back, she had held the door for me and said "only for the pretty girls will I do this." That one comment elated me. Like, I was ready to go freakin' home with her. There's a few different agents around here that have made some sort of cute comment, or touched me innocently (but I'm not used to close contact with people, so I took it as a sexual advance), or other things like that.

I know it's all in my head, so I just go along with the conversation, but in my head I'm all "aww I wanna hug him so bad" or "I'd like to get him home with me" or something like that.

They say BPDs are often promiscuous, but for me it was always for the closeness. That's the only way I could get the affection I needed at the times I needed it, through sex.

Anyone else experience this?

[Cnytroxy1973]

Yes, I have also had similar experiences.Very difficult for me to deal with.

[palemoss]

i was promiscious but now i am not...feeling very sexless it's weird. i guess having ambition and drive is a greater than finding a fulfilling relationship. it's weird how things change in a flash! i was obbessed with a guy and now i just don't care. I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE. like i can't be in a relationship anyway too busy.

[cluelessgluten]

I am a guy and I do this too. I thought it was because that is just how men are but then I realized like you it wasn't about sex. I have an emptiness inside. A void that doesn't seem to be filled. It goes away for awhile but when I go out of town I find my self searching for something or someone that isn't there. I think it's seperation anxiety. I just don't like to be alone. but I don't like making new friends. so scared I say something stupid or get to drunk and act an ***. I miss my old self. where did that fun loving kid go. I know how you feel. well at least from a mans perspective... or at least my perspective.

[emptybee15]

I can totally relate to all of that. Maybe one day we will be free from ourselves.

Xanax works total wonders for me, but I can't find a doctor to prescribe them to me since my old one won't take my new insurance. I still get depressed, but it totally controls the anxiety I have when talking to other people, going out, feeling rageful, and everything.

Always a road block though! Try to have a great day!

[Zabine]

I have felt this way as well. I work with all men too, so it has been difficult for me in the past. Currently I work where there are a lot of unattractive men, so I have not felt that impulse, well except for this one man, he is younger and handsome and asks me about cycling and hiking all the time. I even had a dream about being with him. Whenever my ex contatcts me I get the same feelings....

[emptybee15]

Makes you feel weird and annoying to yourself. They should start a fund to Cure Mental Illnesses...we could REALLY use one.

If I knew how to get started, I would do it myself.