[dirt69juggalo]

Its been two months since I broke up with my ex and it still hurts like it just happened where as she's already fully over it. Why am I like this ?

[Fit1]

I am with ya' d69j. My wife and I split up after being re-married for nearly a year around 3 months ago. And this was after she left me and divorced me the first time around. The wounds are still fresh for me, but she seems to be adjusting very well, just as she did the first time. The only thing I can figure it is that she is selfish or I just made her so miserable that she is relieved to be without me, or a little of both.

I have had no problems in the past moving on from any woman (maybe a little too easy), don't know why this one is so different?

Only time and work do I think will make this better, what do you think?

Take care,

Fit!

[dirt69juggalo]

it honestly feels like nothing will make it better some days but ya I guess we just have to keep working at it

[gashly]

Hell if I know. I'm still not over the last guy who broke up with me. It was a short lived relationship, but still hurts deeply. I'm sure he moved on already, I just can't seem to for some reason. Don't know why.

When I was with him, I actually found myself missing an ex a lot, at times. I realized that it wasn't the ex, it was just things he did that weren't being met in this relationship. I guess maybe b/c bpders have trouble identifying and processing emotions that it takes a while longer to resolve them than most?

[mcmommy5]

Originally Posted by dirt69juggalo

it honestly feels like nothing will make it better some days but ya I guess we just have to keep working at it

I feel as someone that does have BPD that it is harder to get over relationships. My boyfriend is breaking up with me. We are currently living together and I am trying to find an apartment or house. I think it is harder for us to get over people because commonly people with BPD love with all of their heart, we love large, it is actually one of the characteristics of BPD. We throw our all into it. If the relationship doesn't work out we tend to blame ourselves because we know that we have BPD so we know that we have a disease and so then we feel it's our fault. We think everything we did step by step, word by word. We never quite know if we are wrong or right cuz we don't know if it's the disease acting up or if we are acting healthily. It's a mess. Mean while our exes are moving on with life. They are getting back out in life. Going shopping, Getting a new hair do, Going to dinner with friends. While we are feeling like crap. Thinking of them. Listening to songs reminding us of them. Kicking ourselves around for doing this or not doing that. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. We need to move on too. Get healthy, find the things that bring us joy. For me that is music. Or a drive around town. Or a sinful dessert with coffee. Stop not treating yourself. Hopefully this is helpful.

[Bitsandpieces]

I've been grieving a broken relationship for uh...3 years.

[dirt69juggalo]

So the idea I'm getting is yes it does take longer for us with bpd to get over people

[nicoleb2]

I can imagine that getting over breakups would be harder.

I really haven't had to deal with that in a LONG time.

I have had to deal with deaths of family members, and still am dealing with it from 15 years ago, so I guess the theory could ring true for that as well.