[become_UNmasked]

an event happens.. and it doesn't effect you until about TWO YEARS later. then you're a mess because of it.

i've figured it has taken me two years for it to hit me after someone has abandoned me... it just doesn't seem normal? why doesn't it effect WHEN it happens?

[Trippin2.0]

My father passed away January last yr. Sure i cried sorta, but it was more out of fear that my mum would be gone soon after. It hit me sometime mid-year, THIS yr that he's gone and NEVER coming back. I cry for him and I there are days missing him becomes unbearable. So yes, i have delayed responses too, but i don't know why either... Just know that you're not alone.

[roads]

Denial? Without more to go on, that would me by my guess. Wow, must be really hard to deal with.

..it's detachment...

for me it's as though I expected it to fall apart....so I felt it to begin with when it wasn't necessary...

then I went numb...

and when the hurt happened I was pre-conditioned..

but the reality cannot be ignored forever...I guess..

and suddenly one day a FLASHBACK...and it all hits!

this can happen many times with many different things at once...

at different times at once..

if!..I felt things in time with reality and others ...I guess it..life would flow much better.

good point you made

[become_UNmasked]

is there a way to change how long it takes for an event to effect me?

[become_UNmasked]

well i asked my husband if i had any reaction what so ever, and he said i went on like it never happened. and in the past i've had a MILD reaction to it at first. i wish i had a therapist to help figure this out.

i'm going to have my husband pull me aside me aside next time and make sure i'm alright.. or that i see a therapist.. if we can afford one. maybe that will make a difference???/

[Perna]

We're physically geared to deal with emergencies as they happen, fall apart afterwards, when it is "safe".

Too, sometimes it can take a while for a condition/event to matter, for all its ramifications to be understood; at first we can just be kind of stunned or not see the whole picture. If the brain is use to things being a certain way, it will take it awhile to realize they are not like that anymore to "see" things differently than they expect to. That could be why we catch sight of a loved one who may have died, after they have died; the brain is still getting use to the loss, has residual connections.

....is there a way to change how long?...I don't really know matey?

I suffer from delayed reactions....I spend all my time ...(well almost)..

proving to the world around me,...that I am un-affected...

this causes the 'sudden' tumult of overwhelm...I never see it coming...
because I refuse to accept myself with all my faults...I can barely enjoy my best reflection and be nice to me..

I spend so much time trying to avoid myself that the feelings that happen along the way bunch up pretty bad...

I guess it's about fastening a connection within us and respecting 'us'...even simpler..liking us...
unfortunately many of 'us' were not taught or something bad happened and we deflect everything...

I feel safe when I can love me somehow...but it takes time...to know it's alright.

...people will just go about their thing...cos it comes natural to them...however un-natural to me it seems...lucky them huh?

we are quite clever...

it's ok