[redhead42]

I have been working on my med levels recently, struggling with fatigue and the deadening of emotions. My doc and I discussed that perhaps a lower dose would help manage my emotions without dulling them,and I might enjoy a little more energy. Yesterday, I thought it was going well, still a bit tired but able to push through because my emotions weren't reacting dully with an "I don't care" attitude. So when I woke this morning, bordering on whether I should push through to go to church, I knew what the responsible choice was. I got up, got ready, and waited for my husband at the door as he put the finishing touches to his attire. That is when his shoelace snapped. Now, this shoelace has been frayed for weeks, allowing my husband to purchase new laces. However, because planning and priority are concepts that mean wasted energy in his opinion, he didn't bother to try to get new laces before the old ones snapped altogether. And it was THAT that was the hump that became my mountain. Because he was already running late, and we would now be running later as he had to go to the 3rd floor closet to get another pair of shoes (don;t worry, my house isn't as fancy as "3rd floor" sounds...promise! =), my anxiety (which is often equvialent with irritation) skyrocketed. I didn't go to church because I knew I'd be worshipping God with a heart that was, well, pissed at my husband. So I have made it my duty to read in bed all day. Why do the little things have so much power? And why can't he understand that a little bit of planning can save me from a bout of anxiety that has lead to depressive periods that have lead to hospital stays?! Grrrr! (Sorry for venting but if I do it with other people, it would be labled whining. But I think you all might understand.)

[MDDBPDPTSD]

So sorry a shoe lace was the straw that broke the camel's back. I know how you feel. I, at the moment, am pissed because I am feeling bad and the world goes on as if it does not matter. There are even birds singing outside, as if it is a great day or something!

Do the birds have no clue that I am in the depths of depression? Do they have no concept of how terrible the world is? or society? Uh, that would be a "No."

I wish I was a bird, or could be more like them, even if it meant not being able to perceive the reality. Well, maybe not. I dunno. It is too complicated to think about now.

In terms of your husband, I am not a good person to ask. I think that most men are pigs, so I could not be fair to him with my bias.

All I can say is hang in there. Sometimes I hang by a thread, but we all need to not give up. It is the only chance we have to relieve some of the pain.

[Forgive77]

His shoelace, is my husband's, button on his pants a few weeks ago. I have just learned to tell myself it is, a him problem, and not, a me problem. Ultimately, he's gotta walk around with a safety pin holding his pants together...not me. He knew how important his meetings were, and how do I know if he has a loose button? We are going to go through a similar problem, again, with our taxes. Every year, I tell him to file the receipts by month, and keep an on going spread sheet the whole year...does he do it? Nope. He has spread sheets for everything...just not this. This year, I politely told him I will do it with him, however, if he doesn't do it the other way next year...I'm not helping. It's too big a deal to go through a whole year of different receipts. Blah!!

[cboxpalace]

Jesus Christ... are you serious? A shoelace ruined your day? I'm so sorry for that. Hey, if you need a couple bucks let me know and I can send you a few dollars... Don't let a shoelace ruin ur day though...