Unsure

Hey all

So this past week I have read several books and posted them in the labels post. Anyway it has been since about June/July of 2010 since I SI. Thoughts yes but no follow through. Lately though the thoughts have increased and I am feeling urges. I know I am shut down from physical feelings as when I took something out of the oven today I actually partially grabbed the rack and didnt feel it till after the fact. It was not an intentional thing. I recently figured out that i am passively SI when I am eating foods I know I am allergic to. I am gluten/wheat intollerant and yet at times i cannot stop myself from eating them knowing that I will have a reaction. I am having so many rushes of all these mixed emotions and i am not sure how to release them.

Hmmmm....are you also bipolar? You could be having a mixed episode, and those are one of the worst feelings. I'm only allergic to penicillin...but if I was allergic to ice cream...LOL...I think there'd be times...I'd just deal with the reaction if it wasn't too deathly.

I just recently figured out I self injure in other ways than the typical ones listed. It was sort of shocking to realize that I have been doing one everyday for many years and never realized what it actually was.

Me too. As a kid I would pick all my scabs, and I had many cause I was a tom boy, and fell a lot etc. Then in high school I would burn myself...not really thinking about anything..I remember...I had a candle lit in my room and I put a safety pin in the flame. It burned my fingers, and I dropped it, and it fell on my ankle, and it got stuck there. I had to pull it off. Now..I play around with lighters etc., not really thinking about anything. More like a test to see if I could stand it.

thanks for the feedback and no i am not bipolar. they thought i was however it was ruled out.