[Girl_Interrupted]

Don't think anyone noticed. No-one ever does. I had to take a break for a while as I was hurting.

I see people making threads about others going missing from these forums and wondering about them and it makes me jealous and I wish someone would care.

I've been self-harming again and my nurse had to see it when I had a blood test and flu jab.

Trying to diet and lose weight, growing my hair out, spent a lot of money on makeup today, I want to be pretty, I hate this loneliness. I want someone to love me.

Any tips for dieting? I'm trying to replace unhealthy food where I can with healthier options and taking a 40+ minute walk every day, but I only started this week.

I'm having money issues and I can't really afford food.
I get the 1 meal a day when my mum cooks for the family, but the rest of the day I have to find something myself, or buy for myself.
I literally have not a penny to spend at the moment, because I'm saving up for a convention weekend in London in 2 weeks.
I know you'll say buying the food is more important, but I never get to socialise really, and this is basically a holiday away for me, so it's important to me. I need this break.

We're doing emotion regulation in DBT at the moment and I just can't do it. Talking about my emotions is too painful, it's bad enough in my individual therapy sessions where my therapist keeps making me talk about my abusive past and my family and stuff.
I cried and walked out of the group session because it was so hard. I went back in, but I was so embarrassed.

I've also been doing driving lessons.

That's what's been going on if anybody cares.

Originally Posted by Girl_Interrupted

Don't think anyone noticed. No-one ever does. I had to take a break for a while as I was hurting.

I see people making threads about others going missing from these forums and wondering about them and it makes me jealous and I wish someone would care.

I've been self-harming again and my nurse had to see it when I had a blood test and flu jab.

Trying to diet and lose weight, growing my hair out, spent a lot of money on makeup today, I want to be pretty, I hate this loneliness. I want someone to love me.

Any tips for dieting? I'm trying to replace unhealthy food where I can with healthier options and taking a 40+ minute walk every day, but I only started this week.

I'm having money issues and I can't really afford food.
I get the 1 meal a day when my mum cooks for the family, but the rest of the day I have to find something myself, or buy for myself.
I literally have not a penny to spend at the moment, because I'm saving up for a convention weekend in London in 2 weeks.
I know you'll say buying the food is more important, but I never get to socialise really, and this is basically a holiday away for me, so it's important to me. I need this break.

We're doing emotion regulation in DBT at the moment and I just can't do it. Talking about my emotions is too painful, it's bad enough in my individual therapy sessions where my therapist keeps making me talk about my abusive past and my family and stuff.
I cried and walked out of the group session because it was so hard. I went back in, but I was so embarrassed.

I've also been doing driving lessons.

That's what's been going on if anybody cares.

The last time you were on I was new and didn't really have the chance to get to know you. I remember a few posts, but I was going through a very rough spell when I first started here and don't remember too much. I'm glad you're doing okay and I'm glad you've returned. We have a lot of new people who are nice. We've also started a chat on Saturdays, about 11pm your time. It would be nice if you could join us sometime. Take care.

[Girl_Interrupted]

Can you link me to the chat? Where is it?

Welcome back. I'm relatively new, so hello
I'm working on some DBT, it is rather difficult for me, too. I find it can be uncomfortable and awkward. I'm sure others feel the same...
Driving and exercise sounds awesome, really sounds like you've got some great things going on.
I know that I often feel as if no one cares too, I can rationalize that it's my disorder, but it doesn't matter --the thought/ feeling doesn't go away.
"The positive thoughts are on teflon and the negatives are on glue."
Best wishes.

[athena2011]

Hello Girl,

A lot of the old gang are rarely here anymore. Personally this place can make me a bit crazy so I try to stay away. Lately I've been on because I've been in a very bad head space. But although my poor memory frustrates me to no end, I do remember you. Sorry you feel forgotten. I think that we are generally a rather self absorbed bunch here. We may care deeply about others but we simply do not have the energy or social skills to display it sometimes. I empathize with so many here and I emotionally and physically feel their pain. But I am so wrapped up in my own problems that I simply do not maintain contact. And I experience the same lack of acknowledgement from others when I am gone. So...at least I can say - you are not alone...and I totally get where you are coming from. It is the rare person who people notice missing here. Please do not feel that you are singled out.

The chat room is really easy to get to. Click on the chat button up on the top center of the site and enter the lobby. From there, on the top right side is a door. Left click on the door and it will show you all the available rooms. We make one up just for us and it will be towards the bottom of the list. If you can't figure it out, just stay in the lobby and we'll come for you. If you're intending to use your phone for the chat, check ahead of time to make sure it will work. Mine won't.

[cboxpalace]

Originally Posted by Girl_Interrupted

Any tips for dieting? I'm trying to replace unhealthy food where I can with healthier options and taking a 40+ minute walk every day, but I only started this week.

1. Watch your calorie intake
2. Watch your carbs. Avoid simple carbs, as much as, possible. They provide energy which is quickly used up which will then force you to eat more.. Try sticking to complex carbs as it broken down slower and the energy will last longer. ie. avoid white bread switch to wheat, avoid white rice switch to brown.

If possible add weight training to your walking. With weight training you'll get a longer calorie burn. When you lift weights you're actually tearing muscle, and as the muscle heals you'll be burning calories.

Avoid starving yourself... This will be counter productive.

We're doing emotion regulation in DBT at the moment and I just can't do it. Talking about my emotions is too painful, it's bad enough in my individual therapy sessions where my therapist keeps making me talk about my abusive past and my family and stuff.
I cried and walked out of the group session because it was so hard. I went back in, but I was so embarrassed.

The fact this is so hard for you may be a good thing. It may mean your really getting in touch with the core problem. You left the group, but the important thing is that you returned. Don't give up on this process!!!

Welcome back!

[Girl_Interrupted]

Yeah I'm gonna try and buy a bag of brown bread/rice/pasta, instead of white.
I hate brown pasta, but ugh, I need to lose some weight xD

I can't really do anything about weights, since I don't have a gym membership (can't afford it, and I never use it anyway)

What do you mean by adding weight training to my walking? Go for a walk with dumbbells in my hands? :P

[AngelWolf3]

It is good to see you back, I had wondered about if you had left, honestly, but because I am still new-ish (most of my posts are from games...), I didn't feel right messaging, or posting randomly. But I am glad you have a mini vacation/convention to look forward to, even if it is draining your pockets momentarily saving up for it!

As far as walking with dumbbells, I have seen people do that...I myself have used ankle weights when walking before which seems to work. You can also do stuff at home, like using a chair to do triceps work, or if you don't have dumbbells, soup cans work too (I know it sounds stupid, but even though they don't weigh a lot, a lot of reps can help with lean muscle if you are not wanting to bulk up...)

I like to eat about six times a day, but I do small portions, which keeps the metabolism up...cbox is right, starving yourself is counter productive, plus you won't have the energy to exercise (I might look like a hypocrite saying that, as I have posted a bit in the ED forum, but I am working on it, lol )

I don't reply a lot to threads because I am afraid I will say the wrong thing, or offend people,and I probably worry about that too much. Oh well. Glad to see you around again!

I don't have a gym membership and would never join a gym. I do most of my exercise via long walks/ hikes outside, bike riding, stacking wood at home, garden and yard work ie. shovelling compost, raking etc., stretching and do-it-yourself yoga. I am in martial arts, but other than that I don't take any 'classes' or go to a specific place to get exercise. You could walk with dumbells, hey why not. Almost anything can serve as 'weights' if you're creative.

As far as diet, I am a health freak, I don't eat wheat or any high fructose corn syrup (so I check labels) and lots of fresh and raw fruits and veggies if possible. I suggest lots of water! Dried fruits and nuts, chickpeas, lentils and beans (are cheap too) for protein. Just mix them with the rice and you have your complex carb!

I wish you lots of luck, girl. I have to also agree with Cbox, DBT may be so hard because you're trying, you're doing the work, and the DBT is striking some chords with you. Great job coming back too, that isn't easy either.

[cboxpalace]

Originally Posted by Girl_Interrupted

What do you mean by adding weight training to my walking? Go for a walk with dumbbells in my hands? :P

In addition to your walking. They may help somewhat while you walk, but probably not as much as a workout. Take a look at this, it may be helpful...
http://weighttraining.about.com/od/w.../dumbbells.htm

It's important to add muscle because muscle burns calories, and as we age we begin to lose muscle..

You seem to have a lot of replies to this thread so you can't be that unpopular Could you maybe take the makeup back so you can afford more food? Make sure you eat little and often - if you have to snack keep it healthy and drink as much water as you can as this can make you feel rather full. Welcome back.

[AngelWolf3]

Oh yeah, drinking lots of water is good! I have a big water bottle I just keep filling up, it holds almost a gallon so I try to drink at least half of it a day. If you like chocolate, or feel like you need ice cream, I like fudgecicles, the calorie count isn't bad and the sugars aren't either, if you are trying to avoid higher fat foods.

[LizzieVale]

Im fairly new around here and have had health problems and landed back in hospital again a couple of weeks ago. Hope that things are improving for you sweetie. We all go though down times so please dont take it personally if you dont receive feedback immediately. I really hope that things are looking up for you sweetie..... xx

[homeostasis]

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

It's important to add muscle because muscle burns calories, and as we age we begin to lose muscle..

+1

This is more important for older sufferers, but if seeking to supplement exercise with walking, make sure of a few things (am a deep-tissue bodyworker):

-- Start slowly. If normally sedentary or have been incapacitated due to an accident (as I was a few years back), take small bites ramping up with walk length, until about 60% effort. Connective tissues are designed to yield to prolonged gentle pressure but resist under short, sharp strain. Keeping muscles relaxed and getting them used to working again before taking real load, is the ideal.

-- If there's lower back pain during this 'shakedown' period, it's most likely excessive tone in sitting muscles, mainly the hams. Sit on the floor against the wall, and place a tennis ball under the thigh. Roll the thigh back and forth over the ball, feeling for the taut hamstrings and how painful the ball is when they're tight. Try to relax the hams (don't push down, let gravity do the work) and roll until the tension begins to fade somewhat. Work the ball from the bone at the pelvis all the way to just before the knee to the sides. This will allow the hams to lengthen, which relaxes the lower back for walking. Do this twice a day at first. Now you can stretch...

-- Use good, comfortable shoes. I like NBs.

-- Continuing at 60% effort, there's fat-burning and weight loss. When comfortable, take short bursts at 70%- 80%, which will gradually build muscle. Use gentle hills, carefully climbing a few flights of stairs, to build the glutes, quads, and hams up. These are large muscles that burn a lot of calories, and more muscle fibers = the less load each individual fiber must bear, so tone overall will be healthier than atrophied muscle. I have a few 80+ yo clients that benefitted from stairsteppers in relieving tight glutes and hams, as these load the muscle through the entire range of motion, like real stairs.

If you still feel pain during a walk, it may be something needing pro help; don't push through pain. Enjoy the walk.

[Girl_Interrupted]

Bought brown rice, brown pasta and brown bread today.

Couldn't walk home from care coordinator appointment today, because it was p*ssing down with rain That would've been a nice 1 hour walk otherwise D: