If ya' want something done right...

Hi,

I'm fed up with my lack of progress in psychoanalysis and have decided to teach myself DBT.

Though my shrink didn't officially diagnose me she kept urging me to do DBT, and yet my therapist (who doesn't use labels) seemed to think all I needed was him. Meanwhile my group therapist has hinted at me being borderline.

Well, after 5 frickin' years, I'm still having periodic melt-downs and my self-hate is worse than ever, and this last time I impulsively dropped all my classes which I now regret big-time. That was the last straw.

So this weekend, I started reading through Linehan's skills training manual and am creating my own "program".

What gets me is that every description of how a borderline thinks matches my own way of thinking and coping. I'm so disappointed that my therapist pooh-poohed DBT when it could have really helped me these last few years. Grrrr.

I wonder why therapists seem to have little regard for DBT? Is that even true?

Anyway, I decided to be more active on this forum because I have no support anywhere else, and I don't trust myself to use the skills when I need them. Sometimes it's like I feel most "me" when I feel like a worthless piece of crap.

I wonder if I should tell my therapist at all? I guess he wouldn't be supportive now if he wasn't then. ??

Thanks for letting me vent,

Vy

Even though I have BPD, I feel that DBT should be taught to everyone at school level. It is beneficial to anyone regardless if they have a mental illness or not. Sometimes they don't want to diagnose someone with BPD because insurance doesn't cover it like they will other illnesses. I know with my experience finding a T that has experience with BPD and DBT has made a big difference. BPD is known to be resistant to treatment, I too am going on five years and today feel so bad that I want to self harm. My advice would be work on the symptoms and don't get too caught up in the labels. I think any T that understand DBT thinks it's great but there are a lot of T's out there that have not had the training so the shy away from it. It is a proven method of treatment as is CBT, ect. Best luck and you can vent anytime.

"I wonder why therapists seem to have little regard for DBT?"

Good question.

I started do-it-yourself DBT seriously about a month or so ago, and my partner is already saying that there is a 'signficant change' with me. I'm not sure what that means and I am trying to not have too hopeful of thinking: I don't want to set myself up for failure.

But...what I'm doing is the DBT workbook found here (similar to Linehan's)
http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Be...s=dbt+workbook
^Along with keeping notes and a journal about my successes and failures with it.
There is a free DBT Yahoo group/class that I joined (thanks to Maranara)
I am doing a lot of meditation (generally learned from Buddhist resources)
I am talking a lot with others about this disorder (here in the forums and in chat) and am finding it helpful and supportive.
There is also a DBT skills chat on Saturdays here at PC at 1pm EST to learn more about DBT and talk about it.

I say that a person can only benefit from DBT. As powertools mentioned: "It is beneficial to anyone regardless if they have a mental illness or not. "

You're not alone. Thank you for sharing your experiences, come vent anytime you want, we support you .
Best wishes

I also did self-help when I got fed up with my mental health system and countless therapists milking me.

I analyze myself now.

I do DBT.

I do both.

And other things too.

thanks for this.

Sometimes we have to do this stuff ourselves.

And I think I am even getting better.

Carol

5in2,

I see a therapist and a psychiatrist every week, among other mental-health "specialists" and not one of them has ever suggested DBT with me.

Hmmmmm,

-Fleeing Bellocq

You have been diagnosed with BPD and they have never spoken about DBT, WOW! That just blows my mind, it is only the most studied and proven type of treatment for people with BPD.

Sounds as if "feeling like a worthless piece of crap" may be distracting you from something you'd like even less.

When I've tried doing something that someone else in my life didn't seem to want to support me in, I've usually had better results when I didn't tell them, than when I did.

Worst case: I try it; it doesn't work out, or I don't like it. If the other person knew what I was going to do, they get to say, "Ha! I told you so!" -- and try even harder to talk me out of the next thing I feel like doing (or into the next thing I don't feel like doing).

Best case: I try it and I get a lot out of it. Somewhere way down the line the other person notices that something's different, and I casually mention that oh, yes, I did that thing they didn't think I should bother with...

This is probably just me, but I hesitate to announce even to the most supportive people what I'm planning to do, if I'm still not sure I'm going to go through with it. I want to be free to stick one toe in the water, decide it's not for me, and go to Plan B. If a whole lot of people know I'm going to lose weight or quit smoking*, in theory (whose theory is that?) I'm going to keep going for them even when the going gets uncomfortable. In practice, I soon start to resent the pressure and look for a way out. I may arrange to fail spectacularly, or look for a convincing excuse why I couldn't possibly do what I'd said I was going to do, or take to avoiding my "audience" till they've had a chance to forget.

Sorry if that's TMI, 5in2out. Unhijacking your thread now!

--------------------
*Just examples. Neither of these is currently an issue for me. What am I working on? Tell you some other time!

Power,

Not surprising. I forgot to mention. I'm a "difficult" patient. Been under psychiatric care since childhood.

I finally demanded copies of psych records last month. My chart reads, 'Untreatable, Patient outlook not promising.' There was quite a bit more, but just about everyone here can imagine what may have been written about me in their margins.

Code Blue!,

-Fleeing Bellocq

From my understanding all borderline patients are "difficult." Untreatable, Bulls$$t! We are known to be resistant to change but can have a good outcome. If anything with new studies it has been proven that we have a better success rate (remission) than other types of illnesses. How can they say that when they haven't been using the right form of treatment. Damn I'm mad now! How dare they! Let me try to treat their broken ankle by pulling a tooth and see how well that works. LOL Don't give up, find someone that has a clue and can see daylight because their head isn't shoved up their %&#.

Wow, Power,

That may just as well have been written in 'ALL CAPS!'

Cool.

Thanks,

-Fleeing Bellocq

Sorry, I guess I get a little passionate about some things. T's treating people with BPD who don't even mention DBT have obviously stopped trying to learn the best way of treating people and that is an injustice for the patients.

Reading about all of you different people doing DBT self help I am thinking that this is the way to go for me. My learning style has always been self teaching anyway I learn best by researching and doing it myself anyway not by some instructor led course, so I guess it would apply to Therapists too. Not that they are all useless, i know they aren't but for something like DBT which is a learned skill, I think I'd learn faster that way.

Thanks everyone, this helps me.

to the OP: I have bounced around from Doctor and therapist to therapist over many years also. Only DX'd in the past 3 years or so ago. the dr was ok and recommended me finding a DBT therapist but as far as her help all she wanted to do was medicate me, which I loathe. The therapist I found was helpful to a point only. I understand your frustration

The best thing you can do for yourself is to try things (DBT or otherwise) that you think may work for you. It took multiple suicide attempts for me to ever get diagnosed BPD even though I knew the DSM description fit me better than anything else (I was always diagnosed Bipolar, which is in vogue don't get me started- it's just a trend). I have not done DBT, I am due to start in a month, so I am not going to sing its praises as a formalized treatment but it has at least been suggested to me. But again, as I said it took a serious suicide attempt before it was even mentioned. About a year before that incident I was in treatment for depression and substance abuse and I had mentioned BPD and my therapist's knee jerk reaction was to deny it without even asking why I might think I had it. I dared mention BPD because I thought it fit my psychiatric problems and his response was that "if you were BPD you would not think you were". That was one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard. Frankly BPD has a stigma most psychiatrists are unwilling to acknowledge. A lot of patients who are otherwise difficult to manage are diagnosed with BPD, as well as those who do not respond to medication. It is both a blessing and a curse that this disorder (if we have to call it that, I'm off topic once again but I think what we deal with is a natural product of our environment) is not responsive to medication. Oftentimes we are diagnosed as Bipolar II as insurance will accept the need for treatment for bipolar but not BPD. Not to mention those with BPD are stereotypically considered the most difficult to treat for clinical psychologists. BPD has a bad rap. I know psychiatrists and psychologists who patently refuse to treat those with BPD because it is such a difficult disorder. There really is no set treatment, it's not like depression or even PTSD, these unhealthy habits we have are so ingrained that they subsume us and until DBT, EMDR, and other mindfulness based therapies those who would help us just plain didn't know how. And so their shortcomings rest on our shoulders. Naturally they do not want to admit it so we are usually diagnosed with Bipolar II, given mood stablizers and sent on our way.

So... I apologize, I could get into the politics more if I wanted to but I feel I am rambling. More importantly, I was finally diagnosed with BPD instead of Bipolar II this year after learning not to mention it. Analyze yourself as much as possible. That only breeds self awareness which is the solution... but due to the politics understand they may not agree with you. Trust yourself above all. Those who would help you are only human. I will also tell you that the biggest two things that have helped me were a book on DBT that I read before I was ever diagnosed (I am sorry but I can't remember the title, I found it in the psych library at UGA a long time ago) and at least an hour of yoga every day. Mindfulness is a large component of DBT and yoga is the best way to teach that. I cannot emphasize that enough. Yoga primarily, along with that DBT book, effectively cured me. DBT has taught me how to manage myself and my emotions, while yoga has taught me mindfulness and stoicism. I have had a very big problem with dissociation and paranoia and yoga and mediation have been able to fix that for. DBT simply combines cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and yogic philosophy. It can do nothing but good for you. I don't even know you but I am proud of you for taking the first steps and taking responsibility for yourself and your own wellbeing. DBT can be nothing but good for you and if they don't agree well... you show them where to shove it... and I highly recommend yoga. Forgive my rambling response. I hope it helps. Namaste. lol.

Thanks to all of you for giving me your feedback. Wow, it has really helped me not feel totally insane. This past week I continued reading the skills training manual and even had the opportunity to try some of the skills after a triggering therapy session. I discovered I have to do more prep to be able to have the skill "set up" for me to use. Wednesday I was so mad and disappointed that I could barely access my rational mind.

Anyway, I'm really happy to hear that some of you have or are doing the same thing.

Muchas gracias!

Vy

If you want something done right sometimes you have to do it yourself!

Sometimes, we need to discover things on our own to make therapy more effective. I don't know a lot about DBT since I have never done it, but I wanted to share my experience, anyway.

Over the years, I have read a lot about mental health issues in my quest to understand myself better. It has helped me find new ways to approach life and deal with problems. I have learned so much from doing this without a therapist, because I was able to explore myself without having to tell another person. The privacy permitted me to be 100% honest with myself. As a result, I have grown from a hurt and bitter child into a women.

Now, I am in therapy so I use my reading and the resulting introspection to augment it.

I've had lots of therapy and no one mentioned DBT though they knew I had BPD. To be fair, I think DBT may not have been invented then, in the 80's and 90's. When did it start? I guess I can look that up myself.

My former T knew about it but told me she didn't think it would help me!! Of all the nerve. I don't know why I listened to her. I did try the online group a few years or more ago but I needed more help to push me to do the exercises.

So, I don't know WHY Ts don't recommend it all of the time, either!!

I really like my DBT group that I started last month.

I also find that yoga helps me a lot!!! Also meditation/breathing that my T taught me.

Vy, I hope doing it yourself helps you!
Post more in the support group where I "met" you, too!