[MDDBPDPTSD]

I hurt someone yesterday. It wasn't intentional, but they are hurt and in pain as a direct result of my action. I have done everything I know to do to help, but I cannot make them well. I feel so terrible for them. I HATE me for being responsible for their pain.

What can I do?

[powertools321]

Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD

I hurt someone yesterday. It wasn't intentional, but they are hurt and in pain as a direct result of my action. I have done everything I know to do to help, but I cannot make them well. I feel so terrible for them. I HATE me for being responsible for their pain.

What can I do?

If you didn't do it intentionally then I think you maybe are being a little tough on yourself. What would you tell a friend if they were in your shoes? I bet it's not nearly as mean as what you are telling yourself. I hope I didn't piss you off with this.

Buy a card, a small gift (candy bar), help them when they need it, leave a cute message on their answering machine. Sound sorry but don't grovel. Like Powertools said, you don't know how they may feel. Unlike us, most people get over hurt feelings and unintentional wrongs pretty fast.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am sorry you are going thru this.

I relate to feeling so sorry and guilty.

And feeling like I can't make it right again.

My mentor told me there is no such thing as a bad person, just people who do bad things and good things.

I hope things get right again and if they don't I hope you can eventually see yourself a human being who is not perfect. I struggle with this, too. I grew up feeling basically bad, like a bad person and the only way I could "redeem" myself was never to make any mistakes, and be "perfect". And I never was able to do that. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes really awful ones, I know.

take heart,

Carol

[MDDBPDPTSD]

Thank you all for your help and responses. The one I hurt was not a human, but a canine. i guess I should have said that.
Now that she is better, it doesn't seem like such a BIG deal, but I am still feeling guilty. I gave her a bath and then put on flea medication. I guess I must have got the flea meds in her eye, because a few hours later, one of her eyes was swelled shut. I freaked out! i thought I had maybe blinded her.

I had some saline in the house and washed her eye out for a good while. She seems better now. Her eye is open again and I know she can see out of it, because I covered her unaffected eye and she followed my finger with her other eye.

She is going to be OK. I just hate it that she suffered because of my mistake. I was trying to help her, but instead I hurt her. I HATE that she felt pain because of me. I HATE that she can't understand that I did not mean to hurt her. All she knows is that the one she trusts more than anyone did hurt her. How confusing that must be for her.

I have done my best to communicate to her that I love her and I am sorry. I have no idea if she understands that or not.

But the important thing is that her eye is better and she is healing.

I hope that if she felt betrayed or abused, that she will heal from that too. She is such a sweet little girl who has comforted me many times.

I am going to have trouble forgiving myself for this, but maybe, with your suggestions, it won't be one of those things I hold over my head for the rest of my life.

The best thing about our animal friends, MDD is that they're more capable of unconditional love than we are!
Your furry friend will forgive you, buy or cook her some treats, take her for a nice walk (and let her smell everything she wants to), cuddle her and play with her (use an old stuffed animal and throw it around for her), reassure her with 'good girl'. She will forgive you.

I had this feeling the other morning actually, my family had eaten chicken one night and put the bones in the garbage. One of my dogs, as lovable as he is, always goes garbage picking. I woke up around 5am to find him coughing and vomiting, when he went outside he ate a bunch of grass to help him throw up some more. He ate the bones! Despite being the vegetarian, I immediately felt like a total ****. Why wasn't I more vigilant? Now he's going to have to go to the vet and have x-rays and surgery. Why is he looking at me like he's terrified and I'm the worst person in the world? I monitored him the next few days and he came out of that dilemna no problem, after awhile he was playing and smiling. He's back to his regular garbage picking self.

I know the feeling. They are creatures who rely on us for complete care and the unconditonal love they give, back.

She will forgive you. Work on accepting your mistake, we're all fallible, you're not a horrible person --especially considering you didn't do it intentionally, it was an accident. If we just vow to our animals to be more conscious the next time and show them the love that we can, things will work out.

I've never found people as forgiving as animals.
Much love.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD

Thank you all for your help and responses. The one I hurt was not a human, but a canine. i guess I should have said that.
Now that she is better, it doesn't seem like such a BIG deal, but I am still feeling guilty. I gave her a bath and then put on flea medication. I guess I must have got the flea meds in her eye, because a few hours later, one of her eyes was swelled shut. I freaked out! i thought I had maybe blinded her.

I had some saline in the house and washed her eye out for a good while. She seems better now. Her eye is open again and I know she can see out of it, because I covered her unaffected eye and she followed my finger with her other eye.

She is going to be OK. I just hate it that she suffered because of my mistake. I was trying to help her, but instead I hurt her. I HATE that she felt pain because of me. I HATE that she can't understand that I did not mean to hurt her. All she knows is that the one she trusts more than anyone did hurt her. How confusing that must be for her.

I have done my best to communicate to her that I love her and I am sorry. I have no idea if she understands that or not.

But the important thing is that her eye is better and she is healing.

I hope that if she felt betrayed or abused, that she will heal from that too. She is such a sweet little girl who has comforted me many times.

I am going to have trouble forgiving myself for this, but maybe, with your suggestions, it won't be one of those things I hold over my head for the rest of my life.

This reminds me of when Bruce has to take the cat to the vet. Every time he has to capture her, she doesn't trust him for a while. But she does get over it. It does break his heart.

I know he's not a bad man. And the cat knows, too. It's just traumatic for her.

You are not bad and I forgive you. I know you did not mean to hurt her.

I am sorry again that you both went thru this trauma.

Carol