[LoneWolfie]

This was a 15 week, 3 full days per week. I lasted 7 weeks and the last two I was swaying on the fence as to whether I would continue or to leave. It was not a decision I made lightly or something I did impulsively.

I was very torn in deciding to leave the program, I learned new skills that I will continue to use but felt that I just wasn't getting alot of it. Not everyone learns at the same pace and maybe it just wasn't the right time.

Due to my driving license being suspended, the last almost 5 months I have been getting around on the bus. Something that was not easy for me, than add the students going back to school at the same time I started the program and I was beside myself because of the crowded buses.

The last few weeks I am afraid I am slipping back into the abyss of depression as getting dressed and leaving the house are a source of great distress.

That also includes bouts of crying and general despair and you get the picture.

I have hopefully left the door open for me to possibly go back in the future, I went to program yesterday to tell them it was my last day, I could have been a coward and just left saying nothing at all or taking the easy way out and just phoning and doing it over the phone.

While I felt I was being left behind as every week went by, one therapist said I was doing well and that it is just "My dysfunctional mind!" It was like a slap in the face.

I will work through a DBT workbook my brother bought me before I ever started the intensive program as I have at least gained some ground work under my feet.

My heart is heavy and believe it will lift in the next few days, I am trying not to feel guilt and shame over my decision. My family supports me 100% and that means a lot as I will wonder if I made the right decision. A decision I can say I made by myself and in all my years on this earth is the first one I ever made on my own.

LW

[Girl_Interrupted]

You feel like it's not working now, because it takes time to get bedded into your life. You have to practice the skills. There's so much you missed out on, and it would be better if you can find a course where you do 2 hours a week to be honest, like I do.

Sign up for the free Yahoo class. It's not very interactive, but it may help and it's absolutely better than nothing.

[LoneWolfie]

I already got a yahoo account ready so that I can sign up for the online classes. I just need a bit of time before I start it.

[bpd2]

Originally Posted by Maranara

Sign up for the free Yahoo class. It's not very interactive, but it may help and it's absolutely better than nothing.

I didn't know about this! I'll find it, too, and try that one! Thank you so much for the information.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by LoneWolfie

This was a 15 week, 3 full days per week. I lasted 7 weeks and the last two I was swaying on the fence as to whether I would continue or to leave. It was not a decision I made lightly or something I did impulsively.

I was very torn in deciding to leave the program, I learned new skills that I will continue to use but felt that I just wasn't getting alot of it. Not everyone learns at the same pace and maybe it just wasn't the right time.

Due to my driving license being suspended, the last almost 5 months I have been getting around on the bus. Something that was not easy for me, than add the students going back to school at the same time I started the program and I was beside myself because of the crowded buses.

The last few weeks I am afraid I am slipping back into the abyss of depression as getting dressed and leaving the house are a source of great distress.

That also includes bouts of crying and general despair and you get the picture.

I have hopefully left the door open for me to possibly go back in the future, I went to program yesterday to tell them it was my last day, I could have been a coward and just left saying nothing at all or taking the easy way out and just phoning and doing it over the phone.

While I felt I was being left behind as every week went by, one therapist said I was doing well and that it is just "My dysfunctional mind!" It was like a slap in the face.

I will work through a DBT workbook my brother bought me before I ever started the intensive program as I have at least gained some ground work under my feet.

My heart is heavy and believe it will lift in the next few days, I am trying not to feel guilt and shame over my decision. My family supports me 100% and that means a lot as I will wonder if I made the right decision. A decision I can say I made by myself and in all my years on this earth is the first one I ever made on my own.

LW

I am glad you are doing the workbook.

It is hard to learn it sometimes; I like the idea of going at our own pace.

"Dysfunctional mind". I relate to feeling "slapped". I remember one time I was still in psych treatment and during one of my times that I left them (had left them and gone back many times until leaving that last time) my treatment coodinator said to me, "Carol, you're running away again. You're taking a break again? You need to stay here." I felt like she was not respecting my feelings or my reasons for leaving that time.

DBT can be learned if we really want to and it can be learned in all kinds of ways as long as it's learned. You sound like someone who is serious about it. And it can overwhelm us; DBT is designed to challenge our mindsets.

Take heart,

Carol

[shortandcute]

i've been kind of going thru stuff myself. i am going to mental health 3 times a week-every monday, i have anxiety reduction class, the first monday of the month i also see my psychiatrist, and every thursday i have stress and depression class. i also go to AA meetings 4-5 tims a week. on one hand i feel they are helping but on the other hand, i have been exhausted and overly sensitive about things. i think part of what is going on is that some of inner wounds are re-opening and i have to deal with them and a part of me doesnt want to. but part of it is getting there and back. i dont drive iether. the meetings arent too much trouble because theyre all pretty close to my house. but mental health is quite a drive and we don't have a city bus. because i am on public assistance, i am able to have the state pay for a ride for me to get there, but i always get scared because i had a bad experience with one of the drivers. so i am exhausted! in fact i blew up at an AA meeting 2nite and stormed out.

[LoneWolfie]

I know that some stuff that was buried was coming up and maybe I am not ready to face it. But I did learn some things about myself like the majority of my anger covers my fear. That was a HUGE revelation.

I know getting my license back will be a big thing for me, as when I lost it, I felt cut off at the knees and still do.

I have been driving since I was 16 years old and am turning 46 next month.

I also struggle to leave the house, not because of fear of having a panic attack or anything. I just want to stay in, I think it started because at one time in my life I was doing so much overtime at work I was only home to sleep. It seriously affected me in a negative way.