[BrokenNBeautiful]

I reply to my own threads sometimes. I feel so foolish when I post and get "0" after it.

I grieve the loss of never learning self-love by so much invalidationg and feeling so invisible and unlovable.

I grieve this loss and then learn self-love.

It is so hard to feel invisible.

To feel unreal.

To feel like all I am is just a waste of space, a waste of time, just a complaining blob of nothing.

I try even harder at times like this, to learn self-validation.

Because who else is going to?

Validation is a gift from others and I must keep treating it that way.

I was at a 12 step meeting earlier and got validated.

One blessing.

Carol

[Puffyprue]

i dont have much to say but i understand becausei feel invisible too i mean in real life, and no one give a **** about me and iam sorry you feel like this!
some people here might have their own problem too and theres so many unanswered thread, and some might dont know what to say !

i do hear you... i feel like that a lot.

like i'm nothing- my posts, my feelings, my emotions, my life... it's all just fake. like it's all in a dream- and in reality no one could care less if i was actually helping someone on the forums, or trying to get somewhere with life, and i hate to say it.. even if i was dead

I would also reply to my own threads, yeppp.

I understand what it's like to feel...invisible.
I can relate.
Alone in a crowd...still not fitting in with a bunch of bpds.

Fun times.

I understand, and I haven't said much lately but I "get it" and I'm here...

[ECHOES]

I wonder sometimes if I will ever learn self-validation, a topic in therapy today.
If I can't do it, and I avoid relationships, then it leaves me in a pretty lonely and unhappy place. Kind of a catch-22.

[enchanted]

i know how you feel its hard to feel good about ourselves when we dont feel aknowledged or validated, feeling alone in a crowd, its hard to learn to love ourselves when we feel that others dont, that we are takin for granted. im sorry i havent replyed to any of your threads, i hope you find strength in your meetings and then in yourself to stand up and love yourself without validation.
You are a beautiful fun kind awsome person and dont forget it hun <3

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by enchanted

i know how you feel its hard to feel good about ourselves when we dont feel aknowledged or validated, feeling alone in a crowd, its hard to learn to love ourselves when we feel that others dont, that we are takin for granted. im sorry i havent replyed to any of your threads, i hope you find strength in your meetings and then in yourself to stand up and love yourself without validation.
You are a beautiful fun kind awsome person and dont forget it hun <3

It's okay.

I appreciate it.

I'm fun and kind and awesome? I am glad you think so.

thanks,

Carol

[LadyShadow]

Sometimes people dont know what to say. I find that to be the case with me on a lot of threads. I may respond with one sentence but it doesnt mean I dont care. Youre not invisible to me (((hugs))))

[MDDBPDPTSD]

What platinum said.... I say ditto.

[Paris67]

I'm new here and I can certainly empathise with what's happening in everyones lives.
It's hard to find words to say. I am only really learning about my diagnosis.
I hope your ok.
Hugs

[cat333]

That is so sad, Carol. I just became a part of PsychCentral this month and I have been struggling with whether or not to continue on because I too feel there is no point if there are not any responses to my posts. But, truthfully, I do find something in the fact that for once in my life I realize there are others out there like me. I hope one day to find someone with whom I will connect on a deeper level…if I am able to. I have never connected with someone deeply. I know a very strong desire is there…but I have no understanding of how to go about doing that.

For me, I do not love myself, nor do I want to. Maybe because I despise myself so much and that is a big reason others despise me…a self-fulfilling prophecy, maybe? I don’t know. I just feel deep inside that no one deserves to be treated like they are any less of a person than the next guy. I believe we are all made equally by God.

You say that you feel invisible, and you say it is hard to feel that way. When I think about that, I realize that when people treat me as though I am invisible, that is when I feel so alive! If only I could FEEL invisible too, because feeling invisible to me would be like being numb. Oh, how I would do just about anything to not feel anything anymore! My senses are too aware, too alive, and too sensitive. I wish I could feel unreal.

Personally, I don’t want to be popular; I don’t even want to be validated. I just want a little respect and I just don’t want to be hated anymore. I do not measure up, I know that!!! I just don’t want it rubbed in my face anymore!!! What will it take to get that through to people? Whatever happened to “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? Whatever happened to common respect of others???

Carol, I just want you to know that no matter how others treat us or how “off” our perceptions of the world may be compared to others…we are not a waste of space or time, nor are we just complaining blobs of nothing. Carol, we are real people and if others cannot see that and appreciate us for who we are, then somehow, we have to find a way to see the truth that the loss is theirs. All we can do is our best…and if our best is not good enough, then we have to decide that our best is not to be wasted on the world. No matter how much we try to accommodate the world, we will always be who we are and the most important thing is that we remain faithful to who we are and learn to stand strong no matter what. Cat

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by cat333

That is so sad, Carol. I just became a part of PsychCentral this month and I have been struggling with whether or not to continue on because I too feel there is no point if there are not any responses to my posts. But, truthfully, I do find something in the fact that for once in my life I realize there are others out there like me. I hope one day to find someone with whom I will connect on a deeper level…if I am able to. I have never connected with someone deeply. I know a very strong desire is there…but I have no understanding of how to go about doing that.

For me, I do not love myself, nor do I want to. Maybe because I despise myself so much and that is a big reason others despise me…a self-fulfilling prophecy, maybe? I don’t know. I just feel deep inside that no one deserves to be treated like they are any less of a person than the next guy. I believe we are all made equally by God.

You say that you feel invisible, and you say it is hard to feel that way. When I think about that, I realize that when people treat me as though I am invisible, that is when I feel so alive! If only I could FEEL invisible too, because feeling invisible to me would be like being numb. Oh, how I would do just about anything to not feel anything anymore! My senses are too aware, too alive, and too sensitive. I wish I could feel unreal.

Personally, I don’t want to be popular; I don’t even want to be validated. I just want a little respect and I just don’t want to be hated anymore. I do not measure up, I know that!!! I just don’t want it rubbed in my face anymore!!! What will it take to get that through to people? Whatever happened to “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? Whatever happened to common respect of others???

Carol, I just want you to know that no matter how others treat us or how “off” our perceptions of the world may be compared to others…we are not a waste of space or time, nor are we just complaining blobs of nothing. Carol, we are real people and if others cannot see that and appreciate us for who we are, then somehow, we have to find a way to see the truth that the loss is theirs. All we can do is our best…and if our best is not good enough, then we have to decide that our best is not to be wasted on the world. No matter how much we try to accommodate the world, we will always be who we are and the most important thing is that we remain faithful to who we are and learn to stand strong no matter what. Cat

Thanks!

I hope you can continue to be here.

You matter and what you said meant a lot to me.

Carol

Hey, I know sometimes many people don't respond. Which is okay, certainly everyone here is dealing with their own problems. But like you've expressed Carol and others in this thread have mentioned, it's discouraging and frustrating...

I think it's very important as cat pointed out to continue posting (with no expectations). Our strongest need as people with BPD I feel is to be validated, we want our feelings, thoughts, opinions, ideas and very existence to be valid. That is okay to ask for, everyone needs that at some level.

So don't stop posting, you're valid.

[cat333]

Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful

Thanks!

I hope you can continue to be here.

You matter and what you said meant a lot to me.

Carol

I enjoy reading your posts, Carol, and I am interested in replying to you whenever I have something to say in response. Just know that if I, or others, just send a hug...sometimes that is the best thing. If I send a hug, its from my heart. Know that many of us care and are listening with open ears and open arms. Many hugs to you!!! Cat