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#1
Jan 11, 2013, 05:05 PM
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Knowing that identity disturbance is one of the largest aspects of BPD, what are some of the strange things you all notice that change when you "change"? I know that for myself I almost compulsively dye my hair when I am going through a shift. I am 21 years old and have been doing this since I was 14. Actually, it hasn't just been dying my hair, but my hair in general. I shaved my head twice when I was younger. Also, I notice that my clothes and music tastes change.
What are some of your guys' unique quirks in this area? |
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#2
Jan 12, 2013, 03:49 AM
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I know this sounds crazy, but I've shaved off my eyebrows twice in the past when I was going through a weird phase. Sometimes I get really sick of music and don't want to listen to anything, and other times I need music just to keep me sane. I can never decide on a particular style of clothing I want to wear. Sometimes I want vintage clothes, other times I want to dress like a goth, and still other times I have dressed like a "hipster". Over all, I'm just a jumble of different personalities! It's so frustrating not having a clear identity.
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Dx: Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Chemical Dependency, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Rx: Effexor XR 300 mg, Risperdal .5 mg, Cogentin (as needed for tremors due to Risperdal), Depakote 1000 mg "Immerse your soul in love."
-- Radiohead. |
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#3
Jan 12, 2013, 04:13 AM
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I tend to wear fake nails and more fake tan when an episode is coming on.
But in general I don't do or wear that stuff I'm more a skinny jean and converse kind of girl. In fact hate false nails myself. And fake stuff. Maybe it's cos I'm having an episode of hate towards myself I do it. But my mind sets change to actually wanting that stuff. But I've seen the pattern a few times now. And I know what self damage follows. So glad not to be in that place right now. Still struggling but not in the darkest places. I will never wear fake stuff again. As I know what follows!! |
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#4
Jan 12, 2013, 04:15 AM
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Also find it really hard to connect to any music at all when in that period.
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 Epiphany111, radioactivegirl
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#5
Jan 14, 2013, 01:56 PM
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I paint my nails and wear makeup when I hang out with women for too long. no really I don't I was kidding. :P
But in all actuality I never notice the changes until after, later on. Like when I was in my mid 20s I was hanging out with the people at my college. I was older than most of them and it was probably out of place but I got a mowhawk and a long one too. I wanted to be a skater like the guys in my class and that's when I got into anime too takng on the art style that another younger guy was into at the time... that one though stuck with me. I still like anime and manga. More subtly I know that I have smaller shifts depending on the crowd. I am by nature very reserved and introverted but when in the right crowd I can be loud and obnoxious too. It's weird. Frustrating... wh the fuq am I? |
| Epiphany111
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#6
Jan 14, 2013, 02:07 PM
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I can definitely relate s4. A lot of it is subtle for me too. Mostly like acting the way I think they want me too...which is crazy because it is all mind reading you know? haha. I never knew it was that weird until my bf pointed out that most people don't think based on how others think they think.
And psh...mohawks are rad! I had a mohawk when I was 15...and I am a girl... |
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#7
Jan 14, 2013, 02:08 PM
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Most of my changes are subtle but I have cut my nails or hair or changed styles of clothing. If I do hang out with someone for any length of time, I do start acting like them, which in some cases has been really, really inappropriate when their tastes/ages are gigantically different than what mine should be. Sigh...
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| Epiphany111
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#8
Jan 14, 2013, 02:08 PM
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I can relate to that too Greyclouds. I was talking about this the other day. I said that I don't mind me changing the type of person I am all of the time, I think it is a little bit fun and kind of sexy
 , but that it is when I lose interest in everything that it is a problem and should be a worry.
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| greyclouds
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#9
Jan 14, 2013, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
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| Epiphany111
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#10
Jan 14, 2013, 03:57 PM
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This actually has lessened for me as I've gotten older (not necessarily matured). I used to change my 'style' frequently and my tastes in music were quite malleable but I've been much more consistent as of late. I'm finding that I would take on certain interests of those around me (possibly for approval, possibly just because I couldn't define what I myself liked and needed a model). I'm becoming more comfortable in asserting my opinions and discovering my own tastes.
It's getting okay to be me. |
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#11
Jan 14, 2013, 05:00 PM
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That is great to hear Strat!
May I call you Strat? 
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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