Fantasy vs. Reality - BPD or something else?

Girl interrupted 89 hit this in one of her posts but I want to ask more directly. Is this related to BPD or do I need to start worrying about something else going on? Since I was quite little, when home life gets rough, my mind starts formulating a fantasy life. When little, since I had no real friends, it was focused around tv stars and comic books. When I was about 12, the fantasy got so elaborate that I think I convinced myself it was real for a while. Later on, I became a character in various RPG games or in a book, and the past year or so I've focused more around people I know but the circumstances are unreal and would never happen.

This happens mainly when my body is idle. Instead of thinking of things that are hurtful my mind goes in to a fantasy situation. And, of course, it happens quite frequently a night, usually in that stage between being awake and being asleep but I have often had full-blown dreams about my fantasies as well. They are usually much more pleasurable than whatever is going on in real life. I don't believe I'm in danger of losing myself within the fantasy or distorting reality due to it, though there have been a number of times that I almost convinced myself that if I did X, Y, and Z I could make the fantasy come true.

I need to know if this is BPD or if I have something to really worry about here, and when does it get to the point that I need to seek help? How do I make certain than I stay anchored in reality? Has anyone else had anything like this??

Mara, as I've told you, this is something I, too, do. When things get to where I can't deal with them, I start creating a life for myself. At first, it was just escapism. I knew what I was doing and it was fun. As time went on, I starting seeing them as extensions of myself. These characters were better versions of myself. More complete. Until I stopped doing this, consciously, last summer. I had gotten to the point where I was living not only as a hero, but as a villain. Dual lives in opposition. Insanity, really.

I don't know if anyone else does it or if it's just us. But, it really does seem like the kind of split we'd do.

I don't know if I can forcefully, consciously stop. I've been doing it since I was about 5 years old. When I was five, I had this waking dream...I honestly don't know if I was awake or asleep, of an angel appearing at the foot of my bed startling me. The angel told me not to be afraid and that I was destined for great things. For a while, my fantasies centered around that theme but started morphing, becoming more adult, as I grew older. I can't say they've ever stopped completely, but under times of extreme household stress they become elaborate and can be somewhat consuming.

Hi mara.. I actually realized that my super daydreaming coping method wasn't just recent, I actually have a different world before than my "new world" but the difference is that before I only do that when I am about to sleep or when I am NOT sober (w/c was very rare back then). But since I have controlled my and coping method and I made myself "allergic" to drinking.. That daydreaming coping method is all I got thus making it more 'entertaining' (i dont know what word to use cuz I cant really describe it) and I get caught up with more than it should. If ever I get to see my Psych I would ask her about it and share to you what she thinks.. anyways take care

When I was a child and into my teenage years up until the time I was about 16, I was completely immersed in a fantasy world as well. I honestly can't see the harm in this, as long as you know where fantasy ends and reality begins. In my opinion, it's one of the least harmful coping mechanisms. However, it eventually made me feel like reality wasn't worth living at all, and I began closing myself in and not making any progress in my real life. I was so disappointed in the actual people around me because they didn't live up to my fantasy world. I would say that you should remind yourself regularly that there is a reality you have to live in as well.

Honestly, until this point, I always thought everyone did that, personality disorder or not. I just thought that everyone had an active (or relatively active) imagination and just imagined life as they would like it. I frequently daydream. When I was young, it centered around religious dreams that I had; that I was special and important to God. That I was destined for great things. When I got older, it focused around romantic attachments and romantic themes. Now it's a mix of both with bits about being a fabulous wedding cake designer (which I'm going to school for).

But I've always dreamed that I was destined for greatness and a great deal of my disappointment in life came when I realized that I was simply lying to myself.

Like radioactivegirl said, I think it's only dangerous when you can't differentiate between the fantasy and reality. Otherwise, I don't see the harm.

I don't think it is an illness, I think it is a bad habit. If we had no place to learn how to communicate with others and get help and comfort when we needed it as children, we had to make a place in our imagination. Once we do that and get in the habit of it, we no longer get practice working with reality and learning we are strong and able to weather its storms, get help when we need it, we don't get further practice checking what is real and what is only made up. When we get older, the bad habits and lack of practice get in our way; it's like not learning to read in school and getting to adulthood, faking it.

It took me approximately 30 years in therapy to "fix" my fantasy world mistakes I did not really discover until I was 20. It was a nasty mess. I do not see how I could have done things differently but. . . I think next lifetime I'm going to try harder to choose a different route.

I've always thought everyone did it to and maybe others do to some extent; that's why I've never really given it a second thought, but I seem to do it to an extreme sometimes and I have gotten caught up with it like Radioactive Girl said, and it's usually most predominant when things are going really bad. They were gone or at least minimized for several months and are starting to come back....

And that is where the problem stands. I felt alone in a turbulent household growing up and I've had very, very few friends, so my mind has made up fantasies as a way of coping, and it's probably not something I'm going to be able to end or get under control on my own.

i don't know that it's a behavior that is exclusive to bpd. i think it's a very vivid form of daydreaming and it's not really a mental illness issue, since it's not like one with schizophrenia where you can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Sure you get lost in these daydreams and if left unchecked I think it would become a real hindrance in your real life but it doesn't sound like a huge issue to me. I mean only you know if it's a real problem but it sure sounds like a pretty good coping mechanism to me. Some of the most famous and successful people were daydreamers I believe, although i can't remember which ones I've read.

The thing is, it's an escape. As long as you keep it in check you'll be alright I have my own escapes and without control I can lose myself completely in them. They always come in forms of obsessions. Diving head first into an interest of some sort. Gaming has been one that was bad for awhile - I would lose my sense of time and place and get completely immersed in my games. Now it's my art. I can be so involved in my art concentrating that all around me melts away. People have been known to get very frustrated when I'm lost in my obsessions. I almost don't hear anything and I'm hard to reach in this mode.

I think it's very similar to having a fantasy that you go to. As long as you're not talking about total dissociation, you're probably ok.

No not total dissociation....I always know the difference, and you're right, this is only one of many obsessions I've had. I can become obsessed about just about anything...

I often go into a fantasy world but most of mine are negative. I can't help but run through lots of scenario's where bad things happen it's an obsession.

I am actually looking forward to socializing today.. my fantasy world obsession is a bit under control now I just hope that when I step outside today (after locking myself in my room for days) I won't feel like people are annoying and bothersome. I really hope I can go and have fun

I sort of do this as well. I definitely think I use it for escape. When I was younger it was all about a boy I liked would come to my window at night and profess his love for me in fairy tale fashion, I still do that sometimes but in a different way ;-) Mostly now, with the pressures of adult life, I dream of winning the lottery and I go step by step in my head how I would use the money to pay off debts to go to the salon buy new clothes, go to the doctor, and travel. My fantasies have always been about meeting some needs and relieving long term suffering. I can't really relate to almost detaching from reality because of these fantasies, that's never happened to me. BUT, I do use books and movies to stay out of my own.head and reality so much that I'm not living a normal functional life.