[Ultra Darkness]

They always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If that's true, people who deal with the things we do are some of the strongest people in the world. So why are they always telling us to stop this, get over that, etc? Is it because we really are stronger than they are, and they're jealous? Do they tell themselves, "They're strong, they can handle it"? Or do they just enjoy causing pain?
Whatever it is, I think we should remember this: No matter what they do or say, we've been through more than they have, and we've survived. We are stronger than they are, and if we're ever forced to live in a world where only the strong can survive, we will outlive them. People who've never gone through a hard time in their life would have no chance, but we know how to keep going, even when we see no point. We are far less likely to give up than the people who think that they're all that.
But they never think about that, as near as I can figure. More power to us!

*ahem* Didn't expect to make a speech there...

[greentires4me]

well done bravo...bravo

I totally agree with you. I was talked down to by these bullies for most of my life.
After my ADD DX four years ago things began to make sense. I used to believe all the things people said and because of that I developed pretty think skin.

I still get a little kick out of seeing one of these "Without a Clue" people get a little taste of hard times. I know it is wrong the think that way, but I'm only human, Right?

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by YYZadd

I totally agree with you. I was talked down to by these bullies for most of my life.
After my ADD DX four years ago things began to make sense. I used to believe all the things people said and because of that I developed pretty think skin.

I still get a little kick out of seeing one of these "Without a Clue" people get a little taste of hard times. I know it is wrong the think that way, but I'm only human, Right?

Right.

We are also champion "fakers". People do not see the distress that we are in much of the time because we refuse to show it, and when we do it's usually because the emotions went "over the top" to where they became uncontrollable to NOT show or because they came on really suddenly before we could maintain the composure needed for it not to come out....and a lot of the times when we DO show the emotions they are usually over things the average person takes as "trivial". They do not know why we get upset and stay upset over things that don't bother them in the first place.

Ultra darkness... Thank you for reminding us of what wonderful people we are. I think sometimes we forget just how much strength it has taken for us to get were we are. You could not have posred this at a better time because I did something today I didn't think I was strong enough to do, but I did it and it feels great.

Originally Posted by Maranara

We are also champion "fakers". People do not see the distress that we are in much of the time because we refuse to show it, and when we do it's usually because the emotions went "over the top" to where they became uncontrollable to NOT show or because they came on really suddenly before we could maintain the composure needed for it not to come out....and a lot of the times when we DO show the emotions they are usually over things the average person takes as "trivial". They do not know why we get upset and stay upset over things that don't bother them in the first place.

i don't so much see it as "faking" it. like UD said, if the people who haven't gone through all this all their lives suddenly got dumped with everything we've ever been through all at once, there's no doubt in my mind they would be curled up in a corner 24/7 and wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

meanwhile, you are still going to work every day, you are getting up and doing something. yes, you break down once in a while because yes, it's hard to deal with what you've been through and you can't pretend all the time. but you can at least pretend everything is okay, when these other people with these "perfect" lives haven't developed the coping mechanisms that you have because they haven't dealt with all the **** you've been dealt.

i know i just repeated everything but pretending everything is okay is just another coping mechanism that other people who don't have to pretend just don't have.

that's why they don't understand. but they would freak out if the shoe was ever on the other foot.

[greyclouds]

Wow great speech . And so true. I love seeing the fighting sprit on this page.

Thank you for this post.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

They always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If that's true, people who deal with the things we do are some of the strongest people in the world. So why are they always telling us to stop this, get over that, etc? Is it because we really are stronger than they are, and they're jealous? Do they tell themselves, "They're strong, they can handle it"? Or do they just enjoy causing pain?

honestly, it's not complicated. They don't even think long enough to feel any of those things about it. They are being flippant, tbh. That's it.

Whatever it is, I think we should remember this: No matter what they do or say, we've been through more than they have, and we've survived. We are stronger than they are, and if we're ever forced to live in a world where only the strong can survive, we will outlive them. People who've never gone through a hard time in their life would have no chance, but we know how to keep going, even when we see no point. We are far less likely to give up than the people who think that they're all that.
But they never think about that, as near as I can figure. More power to us!

Careful about the boasting. I mean truth is do you really know if they are not as strong as you? no. In this tone, you're being as flippant as they are assuming that yours, your challenges are worse off than theirs, and you don't know that either. there are people who have overcome but lose sight of what they went through to get there, and they can tend to come off as pious and self righteous but in the end you really don't know if that's the case or not. assuming that you're stronger, and better fit for survival is just unrealistic. The real perspective is to know, for yourself, you can survive, regardless of whether another person can or not.

Part of the problem with BPD is we are so self-focused that we forget to just live and let live. Being self loathing of ourselves an comparing ourselves to others and how we're not normal is not good but neither is setting ourselves on a pedestal that we are the shizz, the survivors, the strong ones. I don't know about you but I'm not strong, not always. I can be but it comes and goes.

I'm sorry for the lecture. *steps off soap box*

[Ultra Darkness]

Yeah, okay. I guess I was being pretty arrogant. I deserved that.

...should know better by now...

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Yeah, okay. I guess I was being pretty arrogant. I deserved that.

...should know better by now...

Didn't mean to sound like I was calling you arrogant! I didn't think that at all. Just sometimes we get tunnel vision about our lives and I only wanted to give another perspective. Sorry if I made you feel bad. never my intention

[Ultra Darkness]

Tunnel vision is my coping mechanism. If I didn't focus mostly on myself, I'd start turning against myself, because I'd want to be everyone else.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Tunnel vision is my coping mechanism. If I didn't focus mostly on myself, I'd start turning against myself, because I'd want to be everyone else.

I understand. This is true but at the same time sometimes it's detrimental to our own well being too when we get stuck in self focus... soemtimes we need to see the big picture too. it's a balance hun.

[Ultra Darkness]

"Balance" is one of my greatest problems. I can give everything I am, or keep it all to myself. I don't know how to ration myself.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

"Balance" is one of my greatest problems. I can give everything I am, or keep it all to myself. I don't know how to ration myself.

Yeah I'm not exactly the epitome of moderation and balance either. Case in point: guild wars 2. 1+ week playing, 100 hours in game yeah I obsess, ruminate and everything else goes to pot.

[Ultra Darkness]

I've been obsessed with a single subject for almost four years...

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

I've been obsessed with a single subject for almost four years...

? what's your obsession?

[Ultra Darkness]

Sonic the Hedgehog video games. Although it's mostly my favorite character that I'm obsessed with.

As shown by your signature and profile pic

[Ultra Darkness]

my husband loves sonic the hedgehog xD he even named his first car after him (because we do that sort of stuff, name our cars...mine's named Telula xD)

[Ultra Darkness]

That's cool! What kind of car was it?

it was a 1998 blue Pontiac Sunfire. it was so great. we went everywhere in that thing. i miss it.

[Ultra Darkness]

Confession: I don't actually know much about cars. Is that one of the sleek, fast ones? At least it was blue.

They were a nice looking sport coupe on the Cavalier chassis. They had the Oldsmobile Quad 4 (150hp) Pretty quick for a car in the late 90's