I'm sorry guys, I'm posting another depressing post. I feel like everyone must be so sick of me.

I woke up feeling like I had a big empty space inside of me. I slept 12 hours but I just feel so depressed that I feel like I could go back to bed and sleep 12 more. I am too restless to sit here on PC; I feel like I want to scream or throw my computer. But when I put my laptop aside I feel restless because I'm lonely.

I'm so depressed about losing my friend and I know I should just get over it and that people are probably sick of hearing it. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. I don't think I'll ever have another friend as good as him. No one knew as much about me, and now I have no one to talk to about the certain things we talked about. I feel like there is a huge piece of me missing and I can't get it back. I just...feel like there is no point in me even living anymore. I know, I shouldn't be thinking like this over one person but I don't know. My world had color in it and now it's gray and dull.

I was supposed to have someone from craigslist come pick up my old TV today but I told the person I had to go to work so I wasn't going to be home. I'm such a liar. I just don't want to see anyone. And I was restless thinking of having to deal with someone coming over. I don't know why, I feel silly now.

I have no idea how I'm going to work my three 12 hour shifts in the next three days. I don't even want to get out of bed.

Sorry I'm such a downer.

[greyclouds]

I wish I could say something to make you feel better.
I can only send you a and hope you catch it and another

[Ultra Darkness]

Don't worry, you're not the only one feeling depressed. I'm just tired and angry...I guess I'm a hedgehog today too.

[spondiferous]

Misskeena, I don't think you're overreacting at all about losing your friend. It's a major loss. I hope you are able to come to a place of healing around it.

Grief is so hard misskeena (((hugs))). I get it, I've been there more times than once. There's not much I can say other than let you know that if you ever need support or someone to listen you can pm me anytime.

[ScrewedUpMe]

Sorry that you have lost your friend. All your feelings are valid and I hope you have some better days to come. Just take them one at a time and notice how you are surviving each one

[unaluna]

Just checking in to see how you're doing. This is a hard week period, I hate when daylight time starts, I could sleep all freakin week. I told t we're going to see the yankees, he admitted he is jealous! Hope you feel better soon.

[greentires4me]

as long you know I could go back to bed too someone had the plan that I needed to wake up at 12:30am be up until I fell back asleep at 8am then my alarm clock goes off at 8:30.

if you get through this I am sure I can too with only 3hrs of sleep.

Originally Posted by hankster

Just checking in to see how you're doing. This is a hard week period, I hate when daylight time starts, I could sleep all freakin week. I told t we're going to see the yankees, he admitted he is jealous! Hope you feel better soon.

I completely forgot about that game. I don't think I'm still going to see the Tigers that weekend. It's too expensive for those games, and I don't think I can get the days off. Which is another thing that upsets me, but the least of which. I don't care about the game so much as the fact that "J" isn't going to be around for my birthday.

I just can't believe that he didn't answer any of my correspondence. Not even to say anything like, "I still care about you, but we just can't be friends," or something like that. I just wish I knew that he still cared about me but...that's just not his style. Never has been. Once he's done, he's done.

[poptart316]

I lost my friend too, he was very nice to me.. I was often confrontational with him, sometimes I could be really mean but he was so patient and forgiving and he said he though I was a good person deep down and he just wanted to be there and help... I told him I didn't want to be friends with him anymore and he said good riddance and that he want better off.

[Captainkeefy]

I'm sorry to read that your feeling this way at the moment, I have times when I feel like you are right now. I spoke to you on the chat the other night and really enjoyed talking to you. I'm sorry to hear your friend didn't return your messages. That would play on my mind a lot if I where in your shoes. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you last night while I was online and was hoping to catch up with you on chat for a quick talk.

I haven't been here very long and don't know many people here yet but I just wanted to ask you to take care and hopefully soon these feelings pass.

[MissLadyRed]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I hope you are feeling a but better today. Don't ever apologise for your posts. Besides, I'm sure all us BPDers have an understanding as we often feel awful and our emotions are so intense we need to vent them out asap. I know what its like to lose the people/person so close to you. I have lost many and it makes me feel like a bad person who is incapable and undeserving of friendships and connections. But i know deep down inside we do, everyone does. If you lived close by id totally invite you over and be-friend you. Hugs to you.

[hezaa82]

I know how hard it is to lose a friend...I've gone through that many times myself. I'm sorry you're having a hard time.