I just posted something very similar to what I'm going to say on someone's personal page and it applies to a lot of us so I'm going to say it here as well. This isn't meant to be disparaging to anyone and I hope people take this in the light it is meant: a wake up call, a small slap back to reality, a good shaking.

We are in charge of our recovery from BPD. It can be hard as hell. I never said it is easy nor will I, but it is possible. With BPD, it is too easy to get caught up in the "woe is me, my life is horrible and nothing is ever going to change" mantra. Only we can change that mindset. No one can change it for us.

I've heard a number of people say that DBT and meditation don't work. I won't say they work for everyone; I'm sure there are those who will never get any benefit, but DBT is the only known therapy to help with BPD and by giving up on it before you've even really gotten in to it is largely giving up on hope. DBT is not just a therapy. It is a completely different mindset than how we BPD's think. It involves our learning to not think constantly, to focus on the present instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future and to end our constantly suffering. Everyone suffers pain: when someone dies, someone is lost, something bad happens. Most people are in pain for a little while and are able to let it go. Suffering is when we can't let go of that pain and it persists. DBT teaches us to change how we think so we CAN let go of the pain. When we tell ourselves something is not going to work, your mind is going to work very hard to make your prediction come true. You have to change that mindset: this WILL work, it has to work, I'll MAKE it work, I'll work as hard as I can to make it work.

Meditation goes hand in hand with DBT. It teaches us to focus on the now and not judge things, not dwell on things. I would wholeheartedly recommend it to go with DBT.

My own experience with DBT and meditation. When I first started it last year, I was in a crisis situation. I was scared of what I might do. I discovered meditation first through a BPD book, this site second, and DBT last. I knew I HAD to change things or I wasn't going to make it. I did it everyday several times a day. At first, the meditation caused me to dissosociate instead of become more aware but I kept it up and it took probably two months of this before I started feeling anything substantial.

It is important that you STICK WITH IT regardless of your mindset or your current emotional state. DBT is a mindset different from ours. If we don't stick with it we will quickly lose the benefits from it and be back at square one. What happens with me is I'll start feeling good and I'll convince myself that I'm healed, I'm well on my way to recovery and I'll be okay without it and I'll stop. Then, when the feelings hit again and they always do, I am stuck without all of the defenses and "stuff" I'd learned to combat them. That's where I am right now and one of the reasons I haven't posted much lately. I'm in the middle of picking myself back up after having stopped and once again sliding backwards.

DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. YOU ARE WORTH IT! Don't let your mind and BPD convince you otherwise.

Resourses you can use with DBT and meditation:
www.dbtselfhelp.com. It has DBT lessions as well as other resources and meditation exercises.
www.audiodharma.com Lots of self-guilded meditations, some only 3-4 minutes long. You can start with the really short ones and build up. There are also a stack of lectures and such about mindfulness.
Yahoo has a free DBT class at dbtclass : DBT Online Classes. They introduce a new lesson every Saturday. It is good but I've had problems keeping up with it.
In addition to those, there is a DBT chat here on Monday nights and a social DBT group you can join as well as several social groups related to mediatation.
You can also download meditation programs for phones and tablets for something to do on the spot.

[shezbut]

You put that very well, maranara!

I've been in DBT, myself, for a couple of years. But, I haven't consistently practiced the techniques throughout. And that has had a huge effect on my perspective towards life and "woe is me!" I've been back into DBT for several months now, but the leaders are different this time and they run things a lot more by the book, which has taken a lot of getting used to.

I am trying hard to keep up with regular assignments, and reaching out to others when I need a hand, but some times are still harder than others. Thankfully, we still have the Distress Tolerance skills to fall back onto during very difficult times in our lives!

[Ultra Darkness]

That sounds a lot like the "power of belief". It basicly means that if you believe in something, good or bad, your mind will work to make it happen.

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

That sounds a lot like the "power of belief". It basicly means that if you believe in something, good or bad, your mind will work to make it happen.

To a large degree, that is true, and unfortunately, with BPDs, we tend to always look on the bad side. It's important to believe and keep up the DBT and meditation regardless of what our minds are telling us if you want to gain benefit from it.

Saying that DBT "is not working" makes it sound like an appliance you just bought and it's much more complicated than that. If you don't think it's going to work, you're probably right. That doesn't mean it will for sure, but you're shooting yourself in the foot if you take a negative attitude about it without giving it a real chance and really work hard at it. Like I said, I worked at it several times a day for over two months before I saw anything, but I was so desperate at the time I couldn't afford to give up; it was all I had.

Think of it this way: we're miserable because we think we should be miserable. Our minds are telling us this. It can work the other way around with a lot of work.

[Ultra Darkness]

That makes sense.

[imaginationunlimitd]

received my of SKILLS TRAINING MANUAL FOR TREATING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDR by MARSHA M. LINEHAN.im so happy.
i first followed dbtselfhelp.com
it was repeatedly written to follow this 'handout'..now i can follow more easily.
n i agree with u maranara.dbt n mindfulness is the only way out from our false belief that we r alone n no one will love us ever,that people jst want to hurt us,n there is no hope n that our close relatives/soulmate are not good to us.

i try to observe persons in the road mostly.
how someone talks,walks,eats.
i even try to observe my soulmate.
its realy hard for me to not want to kiss her when she smiles,or says somethng sweet.still im trying to listen to her,observe how her voice is changing from low to high to back to low again.it becomes hard not to be nonjudgemental.but i think this is the only way i can solve what i dont like about her n what i fought with her for so long..thnx again maranara to bring this topic up.

Originally Posted by imaginationunlimitd

received my of SKILLS TRAINING MANUAL FOR TREATING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDR by MARSHA M. LINEHAN.im so happy.
i first followed dbtselfhelp.com
it was repeatedly written to follow this 'handout'..now i can follow more easily.
n i agree with u maranara.dbt n mindfulness is the only way out from our false belief that we r alone n no one will love us ever,that people jst want to hurt us,n there is no hope n that our close relatives/soulmate are not good to us.

i try to observe persons in the road mostly.
how someone talks,walks,eats.
i even try to observe my soulmate.
its realy hard for me to not want to kiss her when she smiles,or says somethng sweet.still im trying to listen to her,observe how her voice is changing from low to high to back to low again.it becomes hard not to be nonjudgemental.but i think this is the only way i can solve what i dont like about her n what i fought with her for so long..thnx again maranara to bring this topic up.

You're welcome. This thread was not intended to put anyone down and I hope no one took it that way. It just appeared that so many weren't giving it a fair try and it does work if you buy in to it wholeheartedly and work at it.