4) You know you are Borderline when...

when you test people constantly to see how much they really care about you and when they show it,you runaway for fear of closeness and then feel abandoned when they don't chase after you

some days you like people too much,some days not at all!!!

trying to express your feelings and being told you're over reacting,so you end up raging or become completely numb

This is the main reason i have spent the past two years of my marriage numb.

It's sad and weird and I don't know what to say about it exactly, the fact that your life and all your behaviours are nothing just a disorder. I couldn't believe it at first, but the posts you write guys just describe my life.

@ready2makenice those three posts were amazing, I don't know if I should be happy to know that someone else is like me or not. The good part of it is "I'm not the only one"

I know this is my bf...now I know it's me too so wothehell??? so...you know you are a borderline when everyone wants a piece of you and you suddenly realize there is nothing left of you to piece out. You've become everything to everyone, all things to all people and then there is the moment where you realize....all of you go to hell...I'm done!...only to wake up the next morning guilty as hell, and calling all those you raged against to 'explain' why you nutted up...I hate that I'm nothing without someone to .....help me ...be. Does that make sense?

I've been nothing for my whole life....unless there has been someone to give me balance...I'm on the edge and always looking for the hand to guide except I don't let it guide, I let it command...and then after it stabilizes...I shrug it off as an aberration...and look again...add to that my absolute need to save people...omg..I'm a fount of emotional crap. But this site has helped me realize...omg...my whole life has been messed up because of something I didn't even know and only explored because my ex-bf was....he met all the things but then I thought...me too. whothehell?? Thank you everyone....wake up call...little late but not too late

I wish you all the best if you're getting help and even if you aren't nothing but There are many of us around the world. For me at least it's a bit difficult to be real life friends with another BP person

you know you're borderline when...

... i don't. I know I have the full set of criteria to meet what they would call someone suffering from BPD, but at the same time I question, is this just a set of traits I have that a group of people want to decide that needs to be fixed or is it really a disorder I suffer from? Right now, I don't know. That's where I am anyway.

Frankly I don't care. I'm truckin on down the road regardless of if some think I'm less than perfect. Go ahead, cast the first stone, I dare anyone (not at the people here, but those on the "outside")

You feel so totally alone and lost that you rejoin PC even though, deep inside, you know you don't really belong and it will hurt you in he long run. I'm drunk and so totally tired of fighting, just to feel good one minute and totally like s***it the next. Why can't a feeling last for just a little while? Please help me feel welcome. I feel very, very lost and out of place right now....though I know BPD is causing it all...

You know you are BPD when you score a 36 on the BPD test from this site! And when for a long time before your diagnosis, you never really understood why your life was so chaotic and choppy.... and still is. And you cry just thinking about it

When you start a thread seeking help and understanding and then can't bring yourself to read the replies knowing that someone is going to make you feel even worse. You tell yourself it's just paranoia, you're being ridiculous, but you still can't read them.

I'd drink to that

When you feel more at home on the BPD forums than you do in real life

When, as you're logging on to PC (for some reason my computer is refusing to save my username and password...yes, cookies are enabled), you have a panic attack just knowing that someone will say or do something that will set you off. You have to back off and practice breathing for a few minutes before trying again.

Yep...paranoia at it's finest. It needs to go away.

why do you think you don't belong? what will hurt? I worry that I won't be liked. I worry that no one will care what I have to say. I expect to be hurt by everyone I am in contact with, at some point. When I am having a good day I try to stay awake as long as I can, just so I can hold on to the "good" (contentment, peace, quiet mind etc) moments. I can be in a room full of warm loving people and still believe I am alone.

I cannot exactly explain how I feel...it's very complicated and this probably isn't the right thread for it. Read my Lonliness and Work threads I guess. Having an okay day...drowning myself in mindfulness, but hey, if it helps. I can't do that when I'm working, and that's when the problems arise.

Thought I meant something to somebody but then they just about fall off the face of the planet, or so it seems.

A fight puts your emotions on overload and you feel......nothing......for a little while. Wish the nothing would last more than just a little while. It's actually a relief from all I've been feeling.

When you're the last one to write on a page and haven't gotten anything from anybody and even though you know it's totally silly you feel as though something is out to get you or keep you from expressing yourself......sigh.

You're proud of yourself for not self harming or making suicide threats or gestures for a month

When your therapist keeps trying to find ways to end your sessions with her.................

When you go from feeling fine in the morning, full of energy in the afternoon then crash and burn after somebody says something to shame you.

...when depression comes on for no apparent reason at all. And lingers despite the good things going on around you.

When people say "she's nice once you get to know her" when what they really mean is "she's a b****, but you'll get used to it"