4) You know you are Borderline when...

When your mind tells you one thing and your emotions tell you another and you're in a constant struggle of what is right and what is real, and the entire struggle is within yourself.

You find that hanging around PC makes you more defensive and depressed than if you don't hang around PC but you don't have anyone in real life who knows what you go through and so you can't imagine not checking in here at least once a day.

When your head and your heart can't agree, and are never on the same chapter because they're reading different books.

When you text "I miss you" to your bf but he doesn't respond immediately so you yell "FINE I DON'T MISS YOU EITHER!" at the phone... *sigh*

Look about 2 posts before yours. Different way of saying it, but exactly the same meaning.

Identical yes Its horrid that someone relates isn't it? But at the same time very comforting Inner turmoil is über-tiring... *sigh

When your husband gets onto the kids (3 of them) and instructs them to do some chores and you feel like he's really just mad at you because you didn't already have the kids doing their chores.

When you post on a "you know you are when" thread for the first time and kill the thread...

You didn't "kill the thread". Sometimes people write a lot and other times they don't and you just picked "one of those times". And I related to your first one. Whenever my husband says anything regarding the house, I'm sure it's a criticism of me.

When your friend tells you he's going to a quiet meditation retreat for 10 days (no cell phones, etc) and you feel like crying because you will miss talking and texting him for that long and it feels like he's going to be gone for a year. (I'm so embarrassed about this.)

When you feel like a loser because you're the only one online in the BPD forum and you just want someone else to log on because you just want someone to talk to...

You start a thread and post to another and after twelve hours you've gotten no replies on either. You logically realize it was probably just a slow night on PC, but part of you is saying that you're out of touch with everyone and are being ignored.

Gosh yes THIS Maranara! That's how I feel every weekend on PC...

YKYB when your bf tells you he won't be able to chat much this week because he'll be sailing and you think "fine, love the ocean more than me"... Instead of being happy for him because he's finally very close to realizing his dreams...

I acted happy and supportive tho, hope I get brownie points

You better get more than brownie points! XP especially if he gets to go sailing for awhile!

Lol! He's not leaving (yet) he's busy obtaining his Maritime Certification, so I'll settle for brownie points while he's still near the coast, because I'ma need a helleva lot more when he gets his papers and sets sail!

When your classmate didn't agree with your answer, and then nobody comes up to you to talk in class. and you think they all hate you

when your husband calls you and are yelling and screaming at him because something you think he did and don't even know if he really did it. but you lie and tell him you know, you have proof he did it just to try to get him to admit to do something again that's not true.

When you're so afraid of abandonment you leave everyone else before they can leave you so you can delude yourself into thinking you can control how other people behave.

Did that for 15 years. Let one slip in...can't do it anymore, and everyone affects me so much.... everything they do or say. I hate it....

I feel like I love you all for going thru the same things I am going through, I feel close and happy that I can relate, finally, I am not the only one.

then watch me walk away from you and dwell on it

So true! So true

When you PM an admin to delete your account only to freak out and PM the poor person yet again less than an hour later saying that you'll stay because you're too ****ing pathetic to just leave.

Done that....

Thanks for "getting it", seriously.

You send a nice text to someone who's kind of mad at you and ten minutes later when they haven't answered, you feel stupid. Then you feel like sending an angry text. Really I'm just an idiot.