4) You know you are Borderline when...

you desperately want to talk to him and as soon as you do, you tell him where he should shove it up.
(literally)

When your identity for the day is based on what you are doing or your clothes

when a child's words can ruin your whole day.

When you purposely do something that you know will make you cry like a baby because, without the emotional release, you know it'll be a very long night.

When you make him take a "test" that he will obviously fail, just so you have a "legitimate" reason to "hate" him.... *sigh.

When you allow one person's harsh, unrelenting words tear down what has taken months to build up, how one person's invalidation of your feelings can take precedence over everything you believe and what everyone else has said....

I really relate to what you say here. Not sure how to get around this obstacle. I have this problem with my b/f child, a 21 yr old brat spoiled by her father. She hates me and tears me down constantly with rude words and negative thoughts and her faces.....she makes faces at me all the time...yeah you would think she was 5 not going on 22.....she yells at me at the top of her lungs..."I HATE YOU!!" don't know how to deal with this madness that she has...and she is tearing down everything I try to recover...am so frustrated...I just sit in bedroom and cry. Sometimes I feel there is no way out. I really need to get out of here but cant right now. I am holding on by threads most days. I have to wait to see surgeon and get back surgery and then rehab, before I can make any plans for my life. B/f does love me but its not enough, he has always put his kids first...which I understand...but at 22 and 24 I think he should be done with their baby ways....I hate me today...but that's normal.

When no one is texting you and you feel completely abandoned

When you need constant validation that you are loved. And the only way you get that validation is by having sex with someone. Then you end up hating yourself for doing it. So then you s.i. to punish yourself for doing it. Over and over again.

(TRIGGER)







when you say to someone that theyd probably celebrate your death. =/.

When you feel like nobody cares because you are always the last one to send a text and get no reply back...

When I get hilariously high and happy over something almost depressingly impossible, that I know my personality is still basically intact, 'cause I see the humor is almost everything...and know all things do pass. I related a commercial to someone who couldn't stop laughing for at least 5 minutes...I'm an actress, I have talent, so it helps to transcend the boring townie reality of where I live. Love to all borderlines, we just don't all know the root causes, can I have an amen?

i was afraid to dye my hair because i was afraid my core self would change

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When you suddenly avoid a website for a while sure that everyone there is really fed up with you and would rather you disappear for a while to give them a break and then you don't know how to go back on because you feel guilty you left it so long

When you are hurting both from laughing too hard and crying too hard in a short space of time. You still have stitch from laughing but your throat/chest/eyes hurt from the crying too

When you get in a screaming match with your mean bf, again, and you want him to leave, You feel like you hate him. You know that he's wrong. Then the minute he does leave the house you feel abandoned, unloved, and unwanted instantly.

How dare you leave after I tell you to get the **** out!
Fight for us. Change your ways. It will prove that You love me. It will prove that I mean something.

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omg this is soooooo me. I missssssss him soooooo much, and then when he calls I'm so freaking mean!!!

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intactness of the core self seems to be a concern.....we don't like to confront but thrive on high drama, anyway, I do....I'm a gonna ask my T about all this next week and get back here, k? Love, help

When you go from being "a pushover" and feeling uncertain of anything and not trusting your own words and actions to a mean, volatile b*t*h in no time flat. From hanging on someone's negative words during a very sensitive moment, to not giving a crap, feeling nothing but anger, and the need to lash out the next.

You hate beer but are drinking it because you just need that something to escape yourself

Your world consists of trauma after trauma, and you just can't seem to get a break!

I avoid talking to others largely because of these consistent dramas that continue to occur in my life ~ they must be convinced that I'm bs'ing or "just being dramatic". And I'm really not good at just jabbering when I'm fighting all of these emotions inside!

My core self is so fragile....Sometimes I feel like no 'personality' fits me. One little thing can change how I view myself; guess that's that black and white thinking. Interested to hear what your T says!

When you KNOW your friend is just sleeping late and hungover, but you're convinced they don't EVER want to hang out with you again. Are they even your friend?

when you think about a weird interpersonal situation for three straight days which everyone has forgotten

Oh gosh, yea, that . . . . .