4) You know you are Borderline when...

When you have a lot going for you but your head insists on focusing on all the negative it can find.

When you finally open up and tell someone you are struggling and they cock their head to the side as if to say "What exactly is the problem here?" but you know inside you're a train wreck on repeat.. but you cant seem to be understood...
They talk of hell being an eternal lake of fire.. try BPD....

When no thought, no emotion comes without so much doubt, fears and stress. When a simple thought such as, "it seems to be going well" cannot be experienced without the "no it's not..." or "yeah but it will not last..." etc. such is the way of my daily life.

When I struggle to make a decision that should come so easily, yet all your mind can see ever so strongly is this . . . no that due to insecurities and fighting impulsivities.

-When you have now convinced yourself that because of your being an only child, you are happy with your own company. When in the past you were once a social butterfly with heaps of friends, had a semi-normal family life and a had boyfried.
-When I'm having a meaningful conversation in chat and don't want it to end, desperately don't want it to end; so will then stay in chat for over 24 hours to the detriment of all else that needs doing in my life including eating, drinking, going to the toilet, living etc. Terrified of never finding that connection with someone again.
-Know that everyone is talking about you at work but don't know if it's true or if I'm just being paranoid because the same thing happened at the last place I worked. Starting to see a pattern.
-When everyone at work is concerned with my health and well-being, like I'm a child to be pitied and worried about. Kicking myself for telling them too much personal information, which they can now use against me.
-Know that every note in the communication book at work is aimed at me.
-Tell myself that I'm ok with not having my parents in my life, and telling myself that it is all because of them that our relationship has failed.
P.S. I can relate very much to everything that everyone else has written.

When you are struggling to get reacquainted with the YOU you've been missing only to come to the realization that you never really knew yourself in the first place.

When you constantly dwell on little problems and turn them in to a mountain that you can't climb down from.

When you have so many skeletons in your closet its impossible to hide them all.

too true. I'm trying to understand it.

Stuck in the past with the 'remains' not so much dwelling on it in mind, yet living with it's effects. And you can't iimagine how you brought it with you to the present so well without realizing it was happening. Thinking not so much at the time that certain events, etc. were tearing you apart, instead you felt you were ever so gracefully going with the flow, perhaps to protect and help everyone else.

you stay in a unhealthy relationship because its better than being totally "alone"

You must somehow deserve it anyway.

You believe all the bad things that happen are punishment for being a screw up all your life.

Better yet, u know your borderline when... u love someone
one min, and the next, u think they are against u and out
to hurt u.

G\Funny!!!

When it takes panic attacks to make you recognize that you have been repressing your feelings, because they are so buried you aren't aware of them. Argh.

When everyone seems to get a "thanks" or a "hug" for their contribution on a thread and you don't, so you automatically assume you aren't appreciated or that you said something wrong.

Gosh yes! I'm always obsessively checking my responses, especially the very well thought out ones, to see if they're appreciated... ugh

So sorry you know what it feels like

I try to thank people often when I appreciate a response but I'm not a big hugger. Nothing against anyone....stems back to childhood and almost no physical affection in the house. Hugging and expressing love and caring still feels foreign to me much of the time.

I see now why it means such a great deal to you yes (I'm a huge hugger but tapatalk doesn't have a hugs button) I hope you get to a place where it doesn't hurt as much if at all when you are not thanked. I hope we both do... sometimes I can rationalize it, well mostly I can, but it still stings though...

I know I am borderline, when one min My ex and I are
fighting really dirty... then ltr on ask for sex?? I mean real
HATE. yep. I am crazy.

After a downright ugly argument ... I pretty much expect it, and when it doesn't happen, look out; crazier yet.

Someone said that the definition on insanity was trying the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. That is how I feel. I know my mom will never love me and will always torment me, but I always want to give her one more chance, thinking maybe this time...can't afford more times.

Hi Marangara. I've been gone so long,but now i am baack. I am stuck too. So alone with no end in sight. Yes, thar's a borderline, giving it one more chance, hoping this time it will work. Have you tried dbt? It's so hard to change, but we must persist..

I've done some DBT on my own. There's no groups in my area and I can't afford to go in to town and the motivation isn't there...at least not yet. I'm also doing extensive mindfulness/meditation which has been a life saver. I think overall I'm doing better...it's just issues keep coming up, like this one with my mom, that sends me for a tailspin. I want to believe she'd actually be a mom to me, but I know better.

You feel guilty about everything, including feeling guilty. I'm hoping that this coming year will be a year of change for me, but to work on changing my circumstances I must first change myself, which seems almost impossible at times.

The head-spinning intense emotions in even one day makes you think, "Forget it! I can't take anymore!!" Depression and hopelessness grow stronger....they seem to feed one another.