4) You know you are Borderline when...

You take a budding friendship and smother it to death before it can develop.

When you take more then 5 minuets to describe yourself <_< "Tell me about yourself" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA............oh you were serious? <_< Uhm I have a cat! And my favorite colour is red.............<_< I'm doing this.....................yup

Of the other way around: you take the impending closeness as a threat and violently push them away in self-preservation before anything can develop. Gotta love black and white. Why can't we just have a friendship without all the self-imposed drama?

Sometimes you feel like a nut and you don't want to; sometimes you don't, and you really wish you did. The mood often doesn't fit the occasion.

When you're told time and again by numerous people that you're a difficult person to get to know or read. No duh...you haven't figured it out yet either!

When euphoric moments come from out of the blue for no apparent reason behind them. And on the other hand, you have planned something exciting or expect to feel in such a way about something, you are perplexed and even disappointed because you don't and couldn't if you tried.

What is a totally debilitating crisis situation one minute is barely remembered the next..... So tired of it...been having crisis situations every day for close to a week, usually in the morning because my head dwells on BS all night long....

When joining the forums feels like a therapy session, because for some reason people read your posts/threads but they don't all respond based on some ideal you seem to hold?

When one minute you seriously want to beat the &*!! out of ____, move on to feeling nice that you got these kind responses to your post/s, then onto wanting to end your misery, and into: "awwww, isn't that sweet?!", then back to hell again! All in a 10-minute time period!!

Life freaking sucks!!

When making a new friend is the most terrifying thing in the world!

When you're totally convinced that someone is toxic to you one night and then the next morning you've flipped in the other direction and you don't want them to leave you.

Oh and also, when you're convinced all your past therapists and psychiatrists are full of **** and that you don't really have BPD, only to realize later that they were right and you feel ashamed of yourself and like hitting something.

Your are welcome to PM me anytime.

When being alone feels like the emotional equivalent of being burned alive.

When you know you should leave someone alone when they're ignoring but you just CAN'T!

When everything people say you think is an insult to you.
When you think everyone secretly hates you and you annoy everyone.
When someone doesn't call/text back and you assume they are done with you.
When everything is always ALL OR NOTHING.
When you get your work yearly evaluation and in reality it is good but since there is some constructive criticsm, you think the whole thing is bad.
When you youtube random pretty people and try to be like them
When your friends can tell by looking at you that they shouldn't talk to you on a particular day
When you're so happy and hyped up one moment, then angry, then crying and all over again 100 x throughout the day
When anyone compliments you it makes you uncomfortable and you have to make a joke about yourself
When you have so much anxiety that you literally cannot sit still and you realize you are clenching your fists and your jaw
When you can't sleep because you are always having terrible paranoid thoughts about someone breaking in and hurting your family .. or a fire... or a bad disease... and you plan in your head what you would do
When you are so paranoid you go sit in your car with it turned on so you can escape at anytime
When you pass by people laughing in a store you assume they are making fun of you..

I could go on and on.. sigh........

p.s. Happy Friday

when I finally have a few good days strung together...and then my cousin says to me.....Are you manic again???...now I'm terrified......what's wrong with me now?? am I unstable? what's wrong with me?????? Geeesh...I hate me dammit

When you hear a fictional character (she's a prostitute) say in a rerun of an old television show, "I degrade myself for money because I don't like myself," and you think, "I don't like myself either, but I can't *even* degrade myself for money, because who'd pay?"

You feel like a constant failure at life…

you are so full of 'self pity' that you can’t even function as a human being…

you are desperate for a human connection that is genuine but can’t be genuine yourself…

you dread having to interact with anyone who will ask you questions you don’t want to talk about, so you act as fake as possible to not seem like your world is crashing down around you….

Erm, yeah I second that!!

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When you just can't find that balance...

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When you realize that most songs you listen to are BPD in nature and that most tv shows that you love have BPD characters that everyone loves, but you still feel less. And you know you shouldn't but you do!

when someone i used to hang out with a lot for birthdays and do stuff together for 3 years becomes the enemy or all bad or against me or i'm allergic to them or i just don't want to see them ever again because now i just don't like them/ trust them and then it's like i can't remember well the good times.

When you are convinced you are a disappointment and useless to everyone.

When you ask your therapist is you have bpd, straight on, in a text, and they say, let's talk about it in person...